the next wedding of the year

mats is the second closest girl friend who got married this year. and was her wedding just perfectly lovely! (and so were we, by the way :p)

i think i just loved everything about her wedding. but she has a wedding planner, and they really did a great great job. it was a totally stress-free as someone else had to take care of all things needed. we ended having fun all through out even while we were still doing our makeup in the morning. well, with five photographers loving to take pictures of the bride and her equally willing bridesmaids model-wannabees, who wouldn't enjoy every second of it? :D oo na, mahilig kami magpapicture.. :P

the whole ceremony was very intimate and everything else went smoothly up to the reception. the food was great, i had my first taste of lechon! yey! :D .. okay, so i over ate again at the reception. but i can't help it. i haven't had lechon since i arrived in cebu! :D

the reception program was fun too. except that i didn't get the bouquet! .. but, there's always the next wedding, i'm not in a rush anyways..(nyahahaha... hindi ako bitter :p) .. well, i think i'm just catching a bug that's why i am babbling like this. it has to stop..really.

the rest of the night was filled with lots of dancing as the host hired a great show band for us to party with. the bar was also overflowing with tequila, beer, rum, whiskey and wine. i can't help but to take a few shots.. it's for the newlyweds anyways! :D cheers!

*sigh* .. so mats and jonel finally tied up after six years of being together. seeing both great friends and equally great people being as happy as they are together, what more can i say? :)

the city of smiles

i am off to bacolod now for mats wedding. this is just the first of my few planned trips for this vacation and i am really excited. it's also my first time to be in bacolod, though i know i won't be able to do much tourist things because i am here for the wedding. but then i can always come back :)

our flight got delayed so we end up reaching bacolod just right in time for lunch. the rest of the afternoon was fully scheduled already. we had to settle in to our hotel, go to the chapel for the wedding rehearsal and do some last minute shopping for our accessories. we also managed to squeeze in an appointment at the spa and get us a good body massage.. the best way to relax after such a stressing day.. (as if kami ang ikakasal :p)

and how could i miss, i had to have dinner at max's fried chicken! it's been ages since i had my last max's meal :)

and tomorrow's the big day for my dear friend. there's so many reasons to put on a big smile :)

money and all its worth

on my first day in cebu, i have to go directly to business. and that means shopping :D

first stop was to get breakfast. red ribbon spaghetti - yummy! i am missing so much local food that i should try at least one of the things i have missed every day during this vacation. :) oh, and the list was not hard to fill for all i could think about was ... i wanna eat this, i wanna eat that :D but i should be worried for noche buena is still days away!

the only thing that i could get my mind off from food is ofcourse, shopping! i so miss the local brands. seeing bayo, kamiseta, maldita, and so much more local brands brewing up in the market is indeed feast for my fashion-loving self. it's such a refresher to finally see a wider variety of great clothes with equally great value :)

so i gave in to my vanity and shopped till i dropped. there goes my money and all its worth. i'll worry about my credit card bills later.. after christmas :D

holiday rush

panick packing. that's how it has always been each time i travel. i took off early from work since there's not much i can really do about my tasks anyways. all i could think about is my upcoming two-week vacation, and all its jazz.

i dropped by the mall to buy some chocolates and troubled myself on how to fit them into my already full baggage. i slept until 5 am that morning just to put all the things that i should bring home together. i guess this is the difference with travelling during the holiday season. there's the christmas gifts you have to bring other than the usual "pasalubong".

after i tried terribly to squeeze in the items on my last-minute shopping without bursting my luggage, i immediately rushed to the airport. news have spread that cebu pacific has been overbooking the passengers for their flights for probably very lame reasons. i can't really get why they need to do this. i arrived at the airport three hours early for my flight and that is something i rarely, rarely do.

so everything else went well right after i checked in. there was enough time to get a nap and do some duty-free window shopping. then i was on board the plane, and almost slept through the whole flight.

it feels good to be on your way home. and doing that during the holidays makes it twice better.

not so long december

it has been quite a long december. it's just the 20th, five days before christmas eve and so much has happened already. i have finally learned to let go of toxic people, played with fate, and now, i am collecting stardusts.

i thought i was about to loose the mood of the festive season, when now i am basking with such joy that it's difficult to contain. my heart has been flying up, up and away that i am having a hard time to keep it put. i should really learn to stop falling in love with love, or end up with a dreamy christmas. but then, there's nothing wrong with that, right?

my friends have been telling me to enjoy the moments, loose all the negativity, and keep that smile on the face and start to realize about the dozen of things to be really thankful for. indeed, there's lot's to be thankful for.

so.. it's just five days before christmas eve and i am flying back to cebu tonight to spend my christmas with my family. yey! but before that, i have to be the bridesmaid for my roommate's wedding in bacolod, and i've been really so excited because it's gonna be my first time in that town. oh, and i got a few more trips planned right after christmas, i can't wait! it's gonna be a busy vacation for me then.

and.. i'm so looking forward for the new year. :)

voucher transactions

i woke up in the middle of the night and this was the first thing that came into my mind. Dang! you know you're too stressed at work when it creeps under your bed and tries to steal you away from your dream. and yes, i was indeed trying to sleep soundly last night. but obviously, it wasn't so sound as i hoped it would be.

however, i had a good laugh when i got to work this morning when i read my emails.

it went like this:

Email 1

To: Lizette
cc: Project Manager
Subject: Issues on blah-blah-blah

Hi Technical Manager,

blah blah blah blah

Regards,
Lizette

Email 2

To: Technical manager
cc: Lizette
Subject: Fw: Issues on blah-blah-blah

Hi Technical Manager,

I am forwarding message from Liz.

Liz seems to be too tired and sent the mail to herself :D

Regards,
Project Manager

Email 3

To: Lizette
cc: Project Manager
Subject: RE Issues on blah-blah-blah

Know how you feel Liz:)

Regards,
Technical Manager

My managers are so kind... and funny too. :D

for you .. in dreams

for the sleepless nights, and the restless mornings, for the stolen glances, and the endless longing... for all the unheard whispers ... for everything, for you.

"you left me even before i met you, how could that happen? i loved you even before i knew. and now the days on the calendar fall one by one like autumn leaves, reminding me of a time that never was when i used to sleep in your embrace. it seems like eons ago, a whole other life lived from the other window.

i tried to quit you, but like a habit forming drug, you have corrupted my system until i could no longer distinguish between what's real and what's pigment of my raging illusions.

if only i could live in dreams, and never wake, but my alarm clock is too selfish, it wants to snatch my piece of heaven and let me slide back down to earth without grace, like wingless angels that have lost their faith.

they say nothing is ever lost, nothing that can't be found. and yet i know in my heart that i'll never find you, because i never lost you,

because i never really had you at all."
- poeticnook, in dreams

a day of lasts

it's the last day of the NaBloPoMo challenge, and i think i faired enough. i missed three days but that's not too bad, don't ya think? (yey, i did it. :D )

aside from being the last day of the month-long blogging challenge, it's also the last day of the month and it's going to be December. finally, a month to go before another year starts. a month to look back, ponder, and do a personal recollection of how much we've grown spiritually, emotionally, socially, financially, intellectually... and all other aspects that we think we should at least improve.

on a lesser serious note, it's also the last work day of the week and another weekend to enjoy. i'm torn between doing social work or feeding my vanity tomorrow. hmm... what-to-do-what-to-do. it's a tough choice.. really. *roll eyes*.

another worry, i feel the party-pooper in me is coming out. not when the festive season is just about to start! i guess my excitement came in too early this year that it died down quickly too. but i'm probably just exhausted from all the party-planning and partying the past weeks that i have this strange urge to burry myself with work this weekend. what a weird way to balance work with social life. and yeah right, if that happens! duh!

so, december.. the last month of the year.. it seems that i have been anticipating so much for your coming. and now you're finally here. *deep breath* (note to self: kaya mo yan.)

He's got plans too

nat's comment on my previous entry really got me thinking.

"if you want to make God laugh, make a plan."

actually, that's the first time i heard of such saying, but indeed it has some truth in it. it's not the first time though that i have received a comment of that sort. i guess i invite such comments when i ranted about my plans for next year and how much i am putting at stake just to stick with it.

so maybe i am very comical in God's eyes right now. i got plans! but really, i do agree that all is in His hands. i just need reminders! :D i know in my heart, He always has my best interest.

all i got to do is behave.

ep renewed

it's still three months before my employment pass expires, but my boss decided to have it renewed as early as now. according to him, we do not have to wait for the last minute for the renewal application - well, with the holidays coming, and me taking a long leave, etc etc. (?) difficult it may seem to have those reasons connected with my application, i don't want to disagree. i would have wanted to tell him to wait as there might be no need for a renewal (naks! the thought is giving me goosebumps pa. lol.), but it would be giving him some hint about my "plans". and i don't want that to happen.. yet. too soon, baka ma preempt (hwag naman Lord).

but maybe it's for the good. maybe plan B would be the way to go. what's plan A once again? i don't want to say my future's too bleak, but you see, i've made a layout for a plan A, B, C, D and E of my life next year. i even have a song to sing come january, to meet the year with gusto! :D call that uber-prepared. (er, not financially though :X). but there's no harm in having too many options, right? nweyz, it's good enough to have lots of fall backs in case plans A, B, C or D doesn't work. there's always plan E.

when my boss gave me the print of my EP renewal (hmm..that was a quick one there boss!), it seems a chunk has been lifted off my shoulder. plan B wouldn't be much of a burden in case plan A fails. good luck to moi!

keeping mum

have you gotten to the point that even you find yourself too annoying? (how much more would others feel?)

i think i have. i'm easily irked up by me the past days that all i want to do is just be quiet. stay quiet. maybe i have been too loud lately after all the partying fuss. maybe, there's just too much that i am preoccupied about - how long will i bask myself with this emotional torture? will i ever get to buy that one way ticket to never never land? for once, i do not want to be pressured to have to find answers to these. i just want to stop all my thoughts as they are screaming inside my head. am i about to cross the thin line to insanity? bummer. i simply want to stay put. be still.

it's just two days before the NaBloPoMo challenge ends and i have to feel this way! dammit. i missed a few days of blogging coz of this i-want-to-detach-myself-from-the-world mood.

pastilan, piskot

i am not staying up because i'm trying to blog, or do my usual late night muni-muni under the kitchen bulbs as i try to solve my ever elusive, emote2x on cupid's chokehold. but on every pause, every breath .. all i can say is... pastilan, piskot. not that i do really swear. but is this swearing?

i do not want to blog about this freaking work, and yet here it is the nth entry in a row and i can't freaking help myself. i am up at this time, drowning myself with caffeine, because i promised my boss that i am finishing this freaking technical design document where i do not know what to freaking write... how i wish i knew what i was committing into. on another note, i'm exactly doing that - i know what i am n-o-t committing into. why not, choknut? pastilan, piskot, relate lagi dayon! note to self: not everything is all about the heart (and i can hear felvi's devilish laugh in the background).. arrrgghh!

to relax my stressed, caffeine-filled brain, i tried to surf around and watched trailers in youtube of the now most talked about tagalog movie "one more chance". i had high hopes that the trailer would leave me with a tear drop refusing to fall as i try to choke on a sob. drama. pastilan, piskot, can not relate. can not. this is not my story. i should start working on a screenplay of my story. my friends say it is interesting. so there, those were the days. nyahahaha.

i then resorted to blog-hopping and opened up a youtube clip embedded on one site that was supposed to be a link to a feel good song. then i heard the piano slowly playing to the familiar song, then the words started to flow, "i've been living with a shadow overhead"... pastilan, piskot.. unsa mani oi? this is the last song i wanted to hear! i am so over that song. but that doesn't mean i've stopped being a hugh grant fan. i still am. but not that song. not anymore.

hahay.. pastilan, piskot... gi-atot.

this is definitely not one of those good nights.. or good days.. or good early morns. but tomorrow's weekend already. looking at the brighter side, i'm still counting my blessings.

pastilan, piskot, gi-atot. anyone knows the direct translations to these?

the aftermath

incident 1

phone rings ..

me: hello?
vc: hi lizette, how was your coffee spill accident?
me: oh, it was bad.. i'm sorry i missed your call
vc: it's okay, so i guess you survived it.
me: oh yeah, i did *roll eyes*
vc: okay, good

incident 2

phone rings ..

me: hello?
pm: hi lizette, this is *boss's name*
me: oh hi *boss's name*
pm: hope you didn't spill any coffee this time
me: (keeping my cool) .. no sir, the coast is clear

now i'll be remembered as the girl who spills the coffee, and the girl who stained the carpet..

afternoon coffee scare

spilled my cup of coffee all over my desk today. it almost reached my laptop and my office phone. but good thing i was still able to get to them before my coffee did. whew!

you see, i've been interrupted several times at work because my project manager had a very great idea to have me as the only senior working on my current project. the rest have been moved to other projects. (and did i say i didn't want to blog about work??).. since that arrangement started, questions have been flying around since monday on things i don't even have an idea about. but i do get lucky sometimes for i am able to answer some of their queries, so they think i do know a lot, when i don't really. i just got lucky. but enough of that, as i said, i was continually interrupted the whole day that it's difficult to have my full concentration on my task.

so in between the interruptions, i'm sort of just scattily glancing at my notebook. my mind kept wandering on where i left off before i got interrupted. then i heard a beeping sound, like a phone ringing. but it's not my cellphone. the ring was so familiar, and it was getting louder and louder, but i could not get where it was from. so, i looked around to check if someone left his cellphone on my table. but i only saw my phone. that was when i noticed the blinking light on my desk phone. it was my desk phone! i then hurriedly picked up the receiver as i got jumpy from all the ringing, and i haven't even had my cup of coffee yet. however, before i even got hold of the handset, i knocked my cup that i just filled some coffee in it, and now it's running all over my desk.

waaah.. i can see coffee everywhere, and i can smell coffee everywhere!! a good soul in the form of an officemate rushed to help me over my accident, and that was why i was able to rescue my laptop or coffee will be totally banned from the office because of me. or worse, i'll be totally banned from having a cup of coffee because of my silly spilling accident. that would be totally unimaginable!

oh well, i might have survived my coffee scare this afternoon, but i'm still a bit shaken over the incident. i lost my appetite for my coffee. :(

party-planner

i must admit there's a sociable side in me. it only goes out when i am with very very comfortable people. last weekend, i was planning a party for former colleagues just for the reason that we could get together. this saturday, i am planning another party for my two housemates. it's going to be a bridal shower this time.

it's not easy to plan a party. you have to plan for the food and drinks. you have to make sure if someone would actually show up, that includes calling people one by one. you have to make sure that everyone's going to have fun as well, and will enjoy the food that you prepared.

a simple get-together is quite okay cause the only highlight would be the food. but for a bridal shower, there's the invites, the games, the surprises, the food, the drinks and the male-stripper.. hehehehe kidding! i would have wanted to hire my dear friend punyal who's a professional pole dancer. you see, every chance i get to hold that pole in the train, i always get reminded of him.. hehehe i've never seen him dance though, but he said he's quite good (peace punyal!!). however, he said he's already retired. he's busy studying his masters in computer science (not pole dancing) right now. so i'm skipping the male stripper part unless someone else wants to volunteer. anyone??

well, i'm not really complaining about having to prepare a party. in fact, i'm enjoying it very much. i'm now a full-time party planner, and part-time software engineer. how cool is that? :D

when policies change and i have to change

i promised not to blog about work, but i can't help rant about a work policy that changed today. and i'm affected directly by it. seriously! it's still monday. what a way to start the week. :(

our office manager sent an email that work hours have changed. we have to come 30 minutes earlier now. i know that's not much difference. but if you only know how much struggle it is for me to wake up early in the morning. i so want to complain, but i can not defend my nocturnal self. i'm always the last person to arrive at work.. oops! (i hope my boss would never read this).. but i make sure i come in seconds before the designated time in, so i'm not still late. just a buzzerbeater! :p okay.. it's a bad habit! :x

well, i can't really help it, i usually sleep at 2 am on the average. we all know that we are required to sleep 8 hrs a day, and i could barely complete that! you see, i am only looking out for my well-being by trying to get the average sleep that our body needs.

*roll eyes*

okay, i know i'm just to blame for my late nights. but i can't help it too if i am wide awayke at 12 midnight. well, unless i am really really exhausted the whole day or i haven't slept for 48 hrs, then i'd surely drop dead in my bed by then.

so what's the real challenge? how to change ones body clock? how to change a night owl be a morning person?

is it ever too late to change? .. to change our office policy back perhaps?

when i wish on the stars

some people are just lucky to have the right things, and the right people fall into their lap without them having to work so hard for it. like all they have to do is give their sweetest smile to the stars and the whole universe would conspire to give their heart's desire.

i often find myself secretly wishing for that kind of life where everything would just perfectly fall into the right places at the right time as i planned them to be. that would surely save me from worrying too much for all those things that had gone awry.

but on another note, that would also fade out the luster caused by life's sweet surprises. there is thrill when things do not go as planned for it is an opportunity for us to work on our own creativity on how to survive each one of them.

so i guess i am getting back what i said. i would stop secretly wishing for things to fall right into place. but could i still keep wishing for the right person to fall into my lap? :)

ex-NCR party

i just hosted a small dinner for all my former colleagues from NCR who have moved here in singapore. two years ago, it was just my room mate and me. now, there's almost twenty of us and i bet there would be more to come next year. though not everybody really showed up at the party, more than half did and that was more than enough guests to keep the party alive :) it is always fun to catch up with old friends and reminisce on the fond memories we had during the "golden" days of NCR. :D

the whole get-together was a success. i think it was the first time where we had more than twenty guests for dinner as it wasn't an inclusive NCR gathering. some colleagues brought friends and family with them, so it was a fun bunch.

it was a potluck dinner, so everyone brought in their share of food and drinks. i even invited a friend to cook his famous "humba" for us. it became an instant favorite :) i'm so grateful for friends who cook well and is kind enough to share that talent :D i think that was the first party i hosted at home where i didn't have to cook a single dish. :)

now, i'm really exhausted. it's fun to play host. but i better sleep, as there's another party to plan next week. :)

beowulf

if this movie wasn't animated, would the fight scene between beowulf and grendel be as exciting? well, beowulf, depicted here as the ultimately sexy hero that blows away any spartan, stripped off, totally butt-naked as he fought the monster, grendel. i can't help but think the scene as really absurd, but it surely had me hold my breath all through out. :D

that aside, it was a fun and very entertaining flick. all the scenes and actors were richly detailed that you might think that animation is now the way to go for all adventure movies.

supernatural

a friend and i was casually catching up through skype when all of a sudden he diverted from our conversation and threw me questions out of nowhere. he suddenly asked about the weirdest things.

he was asking me if i had some shiny, curvy object in my cabinet at home which is not an earring. he insisted it has to be something that i didn't previously own, or was just given to me by someone. of course i could not remember every single item in my cabinet, and it was difficult to give him the thing that he is looking for. then i asked why was he asking for such thing. he then told me that he's been seeing this small creature, which he can only figure out by its shadow, and is currently looking for something in my cabinet. he even added the creature looks funny, peeking into my cabinet since he's quite small. that was when i told my friend he is not being funny anymore, and that he is slowly scaring me. i don't believe in the supernatural, but i don't want to talk about them either. he said he was not trying to scare me either, he was just telling me what he felt right at the moment. how weird is that?

oh, and did i mention that friend has never been to singapore? so he doesn't even know what my apartment looks like. he's currently in another timezone right now. so i told him to just sleep as it's already late in his time. maybe he's developing a fourth eye or whatever. but i just insisted that we dismiss whatever he was sensing at that moment.

now, i am really curious what could be the shiny, curvy, metallic thing lying in my cabinet.

congress blast

just a few weeks ago, it was the glorietta blast. now, the house of representatives has been hit, killing one congressman, and two others. the former may be speculated as an accident. still, news like this, catching international attention, adds another stain to our country.

i heard about the news from the bus's tv on my way home last night. no matter how much i do not want to care about the kind of government that our country has, i could not ignore the twinge of sadness. at the same time, there is also a sense of anxiousness on what could be the adverse effect over this incident.

we know our government has been limping for a long time. how else can it stand if it continually gets wobbly knees?

cleaned out

i promised myself to sleep early tonite so that i could wake up early tomorrow, so that i won't be late for work anymore. however, it's past midnight, and i am still wide awake, blogging. obviously.

well, i found myself cleaning up some mess in our storage room as there was just too many boxes that it was getting difficult to get through. it's a surprise how clutter could easily pile up in a few months, and just a night to clean it all up.

if only it is that easy to clean up the clutter that we pile up in our lives after years of making the wrong decisions. *sigh*. it is a struggle and a really really slow process to straighten the mess that have piled up after screwing up several times. not to mention, it also takes a whole lot of will-power to even start.

but then, once you start, all else will easily follow. just takes patience, be the optimist that we should be. ne?

stardusts

"You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves... You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no fits. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine."

-Yvaine, from the movie "Stardust"

*sigh*... these lines have made me a sentimental twit .. *slaps both cheeks thrice*

for the love of theater

i was watching some musical theater clips in youtube, and i found myself once again mesmerized by the music, the dance.. and all the beauty of theater that i lost track of time and it's past midnight now and i should be sleeping already... BUT, i love theater. i love musicals. sometimes i dream that my life is one, and those moments where we wished would drag on for eternity, i would imagine it with the perfect background music (and me singing, and people around and dancing, and ... i could go on).

then, i recalled the most memorable, er.. embarrassing job interview i had in my dream company which i blew, all for the love of theater:


manager: so, what is your dream job?
moi: hmm... (think hard, think double hard) .. well, i really wanted to be in a theater.

i swear there was a brief pause of disbelief from the interviewer.

manager: theater??

then she ranted more, and everything else was history.

this is one of the moments where you wish you just had been eaten alive. that's why that company is still my dream company up to now.

getting christmas-y

christmas is indeed getting nearer and nearer. i just can't help but be extra excited this time for the coming yuletide season as i'll be able to finally spend it with the entire family. yey! finally, i could see streets filled with lanterns, i could hear christmas songs played everywhere i go and people from everywhere in town would be singing christmas carols at home! not to mention, there'd be noche buena.. and a tree filled with gifts, gifts.. and gifts. obviously, christmas season is definitely my favorite time of the year.:D


though i haven't played some christmas carols yet here at the apartment for the added "christmas-y" feel, i have already busied myself by bringing out the christmas decors from last year, set up our teeny-weeny christmas tree (about 15 inches) at the center table in the living area. i have also bought new decors for the tv stand, and i think i need to buy a few more to add more of the yuletide feel in it. i want it to be "pasko na pasko" here just like how we do it back home. it makes me smile to see that there's already a hint of the yuletide season in our almost bare flat as early as now :)

surely, i can't wait for christmas to come.

"pasko, pasko, pasko na naman muli" *playing at the back of my head* ....

"pasko na .. sinta ko..." .. ahihihi.. that's all i want for christmas! hahaha :D

feel good songs

there are times where i wish i could drown myself with feel good songs. the kind where you don't need to be in love to fall in love. like it is the most natural thing to do when you listen to these kind of music.

currently, i'm listening to jason mraz's 'i'm yours'. and yes, there were moments where i really wanted to just surrender sweetly, without hesitation and say, 'baby, i'm yours'. but of course, reason got ahead of me. now is not the time to go collecting stardusts. it is best that i leave these hopes to the wind.

so for the meantime, i'll just put this song on eternal repeat in my ipod.

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
and now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon its again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me
Ah, la peaceful melodys
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love love

-I'm Yours, Jason Mraz

since life can have its alphabets

since i've been tagged by dee, and i'm not sleepy yet.. let me get on with my life's ABC.

Instructions: Each player starts with 7 random habits/facts about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog!

Seven facts about me: a nocturnal, coffee addict, worrywart, wanderer, dreamer, stands 157cm (and never getting taller), weighs 50 kgs (and going down.. i hope), bubbly, forgetful ..(i'm supposed to write only seven)

A - Age: 28
B - Band Listening To Right Now: i'm listening to FM music..
C - Career: Software Engineer .. but in search for something else
D - Drink or Smoke: margarita, don't smoke
E - Easiest Friends To Talk To: nats, ri, janeth, mats, felvi, josh
G - Gummy Bears or Gummy Worms: gummy bears!
H - Have a Boyfriend : Soon! (wehehe optimistic!!)
I - In love: with love..definitely!
J- Junk Food You Like: Dorritos Nachos
K - Kids: i'd luv a bunchful of 'em
L - Longest Ride Ever: Seattle - Taipei flight..abt 17 hrs, didn't sleep the whole time
N - Names For Your Future Kids: it depends.. i'd like to name my kids after something/someone significant on their day of birth
O - One Wish You Have Now: to finally find what i'm looking for ..
P - Phobias: to be trapped, snakes
Q - Favorite Quote: Patience is virtue
R - Reasons To Smile: countless, pouring blessings
S - Sleeping Time: 2 am
T - Time You Woke Up: 9:00am
U - Unknown Fact About You: i'm really shy
V - Vegetable You Hate: cabbage
W - Worst Habit: procrastination, tardiness
X - X-rays You’ve Had: chest, back, sinus
Y - Yummy Foods: all yummy food :D
Z - Zodiac Sign: Pisces

i'd like to tag all my friends in my blogroll, who haven't been tagged yet... :)

a busy holiday

there's so much that i want to blog about, but it's almost midnight and i'm beating my deadline for my blog entry for today for the blogging challenge. so, just let me rant about my day.

you see, it's my first busy holiday in my almost two years here in singapore where i didn't have any out of town trips. i usually just spend a very lazy day at home doing nothing. but not anymore.

my friend jan and i hit the movida club at st. james (once again) last night after our therapy yoga class. it was an out of the blue thing, and we were hungry for not having any dinner yet. so we decided to enjoy some groovy latin beat over dinner. however, we were enjoying the music too much that we ended up going home at four a.m. in the morning... oops!

i already woke up at around noon and had a quick brunch with my housemates. afterwhich, i headed back to the gymn for another yoga session. i'm really luvin yoga now. i'm looking forward to every session that i can fit in my schedule. the class today was a bit, err.. tough. there were just three of us, and one girl was really really good at the postures already. our teacher was giving us quite tough positions and she can really get them while i struggled so hard between wobbly knees and elbows. but it's okay, considering it's still my fourth or fifth class :) i even had my first try on headstand positions.. but of course, my teacher was standing beside me so that i won't break my neck! i still even find shoulderstand positions quite tough, but really relaxing.

after yoga class, i met up with my cousin and showed her how to get to china town by train. she is still quite new in singapore so she's not quite confident on how to get around by herself. we didn't get around chinatown much though cuz a friend invited us for dinner and his place is in the land far, far away.. in YewTee. waaah! you see, i live in the east side of singapore and i am so so lazy to even visit my dear friend jan who lives in the west side. any town in singapore's west side is a land far far away for me. :D it's like almost an hour train ride from our place. however, the travel was all worth it as we had a very very delicious dinner.. buti nalang! wehehehe. burp. (excuse me).

my cousin and i got home already at almost ten, and my body's all sore. however, my mind's still quite awake.. so i'd probably be staying up late again.. (oh, i forgot, i just had a cup of coffee) .. it's work day tomorrow, i just hope i won't be late for work :D


okay, happy deepavali everyone! (that's the holiday we're supposed to be celebrating right now)

for vanity's sake

ri wrote about this beauty medicine that is becoming very popular in japan, which according to her "promises to clear the skin from within". (check her blog here) as i am not blessed with really flawless, porcelain-like skin, ri's post really got my interest. though my end goal is not to become a porcelain doll, i don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to have a radiant, glowing skin na parang porcelain narin :D .. okay, i'm lowering my standard. let me rephrase what i said, there's nothing wrong with wanting to have a radiant, glowing skin.. na parang artista! wehehehe.

so, in one of my boring moments in the office, i googled for a similar product that could be found in singapore. lo and behold, i read in a forum that a japanese product which has about the same contents from the product mentioned by ri, can be found in the local drugstores here in singapore! yahoo! and since i trust the recommendations of my friends (ri and idel are using it), i know i'm gonna give this thing a try.

i then rushed to a local drugstore here (it's available in watsons and unity) and browsed through the aisles where the vitamins are, to search for the beauty medicine. the truth is, i forgot the name of the product mentioned on the forum. was it hakubi? or habuki? basta may vitamin c and L-cysteine content, yun na yun. so i scrutinized the ingredients on the different bottles on the aisle that shows vitamin C in a bigger label. it took me a while to locate the product as i was too shy to ask the clerks for help. i'm afraid they might recommend me a very expensive miracle cream that they might think is more convincing to work better on me than the product that i'm looking for. hmmph! (i won't be budged, i'm still sticking with my friends' recommendation.) when i was about to give up, i found in one corner - Hakubi White C. this is it! i checked the contents and read: L-cysteine, vitamin b6, ascorbic acid, and calcium. this is it nga! it's what i am looking for :D

you see, this product is also well-recommended from the forum where i've read about it. i am not sure what its outcome will be on me though as the forums say the result varies on the type of genes you have. i guess we'll find out in a month as soon as i get my radiant and glowing skin.. nyehehehehhee. if there are no visible results after a month, let's wait for another month or two (or three), baka it's really in my genes na mahirap magclear easily ang skin ko. pagwala parin visible results in three or five months, don't worry, i'm not loosing my hope yet, i'll still update you, kahit aabot pa ng one year or one decade (huwag naman century), until na achieve ko na ang radiant, glowing skin na yan.

ewan ko nga ba.. basta, this is simply for vanity's sake. :D

another cooking disaster

ever since i came here in singapore, i have managed to develop some culinary skills so that i would have other better things to eat aside from the local dishes without having to spend too much cash. since i have always loved italian dishes, i have tried cooking different kinds of pastas from cream sauce to marinara sauce with the white wine, of course. i love gourmet food, so if i could chance upon a non-bake and easy to cook gourmet dish, i would always give the dish a shot in my spare time.

however, there's one dish that i always effortlessly fail each time i attempt to cook it. no matter how simple it is, disaster is always the end result. that dish is no other than - pritong isda (fried fish). you might be rolling your eyes with disbelief, but seriously, i can't cook this dish.

my first attempt to cook pritong isda here in singapore was more than a year ago and what happened was i almost got our apartment burned... good thing it was just the range hood that got all damaged. i blogged about it in trembling hands because of the very traumatic experience. but that was more than a year ago, so i thought i must have learned a bit on how to do this very simple dish after a very successful pinakbet (filipino vegetable stew) over the weekend. yes, i know how to cook pinakbet now...and all my other pasta dishes have been quite a success (not to brag, but my housemates all love them, so i take their word.. hehehe they are my only fans :p ).. but i could just not get my pritong isda perfect!! .. ugh! how frustrating can that be?

wondering how i did it? well, i think i got the procedure correctly:

1) soak the fish in salt and pepper

2) put 5 tablespoons of butter on a heated pan (i had 3 pieces of sliced fish, so that would be enough and i didn't use the normal cooking vegetable oil since i want my fish to have more taste)
3) check fire to be very low to avoid burning your kitchen
4) once the butter melts, put in the fish slices slowly and cover
5) check on the fish gradually to see if the part that's dipped in the melted butter gets a bit brown before turning the fish updside down

see, it is pretty simple. i did all the steps above, but i was a bit impatient on the last procedure. it's past midnight already, and i still have work tomorrow...so i kinda rushed things. (you might be wondering what i am doing cooking fish at this time. i'm done with dinner, and i bought this really fresh fish last saturday, and i do not have other time to cook it. if i postpone it more, i would end up a not so fresh fish anymore on my plate. fish meat gets easily spoilt, and it won't taste as good.)

nweyz, back to my fish, i was a bit impatient and turned it upside down a tad bit earlier. well, the butter is all brown already so i guess it was okay. what happened though is i got all the fish meat broken into pieces, or how should it be described? shattered? scattered? shredded? whatever... my fish slices looked more like fish shreds now and i can't turn them upside down anymore. :( instead of a golden brown fried fish, i ended up with burnt fish shreds.. taking a picture of it would make things more heartbreaking, so i decided against it.

i give up. i can't do pritong isda.

p.s. hmmm.. on second thought, i should be thankful i didn't get anything in the kitchen burnt. that's quite a progress then.. so, it could be that i fried the wrong kind of fish. i mean, maybe that kind of fish was not meant for frying.. maybe that fish could have been saved if i had cooked it as tinola, or sinigang... or some other dishes.. i should never loose hope.. maybe i'll fair better on this dish next year with the right kind of fish. :D

good news for mondays

all my petty worries just dissolved into thin air when i got some great news that my teacher, mentor and friend from university gave birth to a very healthy baby girl. you see, mrs. cherry lyn sta. romana, or miss (as we never thought of calling her differently even after she got married), is one of the very few people that i really look up to and admire up to now. she made graduating computer science back then as challenging as she can for all of us, so that we won't give up on it.

Maria Mikaela Sta. Romana

welcome to the world, baby tantin .. i'm sure you will grow up as passionate as your mom in whatever you want to be :) congratulations too to the proud parents.

reminds me, i truly am in need to get rubbed by her passion for computer science once again as i am loosing my reasons why i am at this field of work.. it is always a fond memory to remember how passionate she gets once she talks about automata, computability, and leap-frogging algorithms, to name a few. her excitement was just too catchy, it was difficult to miss it. :)

weekend nights

i didn't intend to miss blogging for two days. but there are weekend nights, and what's a single girl got to do?

met with friends for dinner at 8pm on a friday night, went clubbing from 9pm til the wee hours. reached home at around 4am already. spent the most part saturday morning sleeping. missed yoga classes, too tired to wake up. missed the sfc's prayer assembly, must head to the gym for pilates class at 2pm, and de-stress in the sauna for at least an hour. went home at 5pm and had grocery shopping. cooked dinner for friends. went for a late night movie at 9pm, stayed out again for the second consecutive night, went home at still another unholy hour (forgot to check the time). slept at 6 am already. after such a busy saturday, all what's left for me to do on sunday is catch up on the much needed sleep.

this is the part where you enjoy being single. there's too much freedom in it.

up and down and around and about

it is still the second day of the NaBloPoMo challenge, and i am already out of topic on what to blog about. but since i am still taking the challenge, i have to write something. so, this entry will purely consist of nonsense rants, but then, most of my blogs are also so filled of that, so what's new?

i do not want to blog about how dull my work day is today because i do not want to talk about my geeky, nerdy job. i do not want to blog about the weather too, and write how the clouds got so dark outside, while lightning strikes from time to time. i remembered being so afraid of thunders and lightning when i was little. and, i also remembered lightning-watching with my very first best guy friend some six years ago. i think he was trying to brew a romantic setup as we were up on a hill one night, looking over the city lights and just plainly watching lightning striking over the far city and we talked about anything under the stars. so sweet. however, no romantic sparks ever flew between us, so we remained very very good friends for a long time, until he got married and is now very busy being a husband and a father that i could totally not relate to him anymore.

sigh. the perils of singlehood. once your dear friends starts to get married one by one, you couldn't help but be really alarmed and think how come you are not even in a decent relationship. then you try to look back how come you've given up on the decent guys that came along simply because you can't settle. of course, i can't simply just settle. and by that thought you get more alarmed because wedding bells may not ring for you. but i'm brushing that thought away. *breathe in, breathe out, relax* .. i still have shower parties to plan.

my body still sores from the yoga class the other day, and i'm taking muscle relaxants already. plus, i think i am about to catch colds because of late nights, trying to put sense into my recent actions. really, thinking too much just simply doesn't help any of our problems because we also need to act on them. and i'm only good at the "thinking too much" part.

"the world is round, it has no point", as a saying goes. well, the world and my life seems to have something in common. good thing, i'm not suicidal... and i'm busy contradicting that.

it will have a point. i know!

forget your mind and body - complete

i just had my first yoga session today. it was therapy yoga, so the instructor was trying to explain the benefits of each position that we're doing to our vital organs and the whole body. stretch your arms, face up, raise your leg, hold your breath, etc, etc. really, i could just not remember all the instructions as i was busy trying to be as flexible as i can be (which is really not an easy thing), while holding my balance, and remembering to breath.

i am a beginner at this yoga thing, and i think i'm going to be looking forward to the next session as i am feeling the benefits of it even after the first class. i am currently sitting in a good posture right now, as slouching will hurt my back after all the back-stretching that we did. sitting on cross legs isn't so comfortable anymore as the veins at the back of my knees still hurt. i was in pain during the whole class, but i think it was a good kind of pain. well, i don't know how else to explain it really. so i just suggest you try it too. it definitely relaxes all those stiff muscles after long hours of inactivity at the work place.

hmm..i'm definitely looking forward to my next class this saturday. who knows, by the end of the month.. pwede nako mo-split! yatta!!! :D

oh yeah, before i forget. about the title, that is one of the phrases our teacher kept repeating during the relaxation part. "forget your mind, body - complete". it was a bit disturbing since i could not help think how on earth is that possible. he wasn't being literal, was he? and i was just being too serious about it. duh!

taking on a challenge

after pouring my heart out in my previous blog about my current obsession, surprisingly, i found a surge of peacefulness within me that i could not find anything to blog about. my emotions have gone blank. zilch. does this mean that i have managed to make peace with my own demons? or simply put, have i moved on? or ... have i gotten numb?

hmm, i am not too sure if there's even something to move on about the whole thing. i can't say if getting a "closure" would even make a difference. it didn't do a thing when i struggled for it before, so how could it possibly put things in a different perspective now? come to think of it, "closure" is like this thin thread where hopeless romantics desperately hang on to. once you've let go, you realize you were holding on to the wrong thread nweys. so what's there to loose, but time? (well, there's a thought i could bang my head with from time to time.) maybe, indeed, i've gotten numb.

nweys, i am not about to go gushing once again about my own histoire d'amour. all these thoughts just came when i've decided to take on a challenge which i found from charming's website - the NaBloPoMo, where you need to blog about anything everyday for the whole month of november. that's every freaking single day, and i got a life outside work too, if you haven't noticed.

while i was on the bus on my way home from the gym (yes, i'm trying to be a health buff), i was really up for this challenge. i was composing my thoughts on what could i possibly blog about every single day, where i don't have to dwell much on my geeky, nerdy job. that's when i realized that i've burried the hatchet after killing my own demons when i openly wrote about letting go. well, i am not really too sure about killing my own demons. i'm making friends with them would be more like it. befriend your own enemies, as they say. hehehehe. and of course i'm kidding.

okay, there goes the only complex thing in my life these days. dans l'absence d'amour, what is left for me to write? naks.. seriously, what's left for me to rant about? new shoes? new sale? new dish to cook? ... new obsession? hmm..

oh well .. peu importe. i can still very much rant about anything under the sun nweys.

ja, ganbatte! :D

it's not the shoes

there are events in your life, like falling down on your knees in front of many people, construction men at that, that could make you think - dili lagi mag rampa2x basta daghang ali sa dalan! waaaah.

this post is not about some shoes. however, it's this pair of pumps that is an accessory to my embarrassing morning.

you see, our pool is under construction, and the whole re-tiling thing around the area was causing too many obstructions on what is left of our little walkway. i was avoiding a potted plant when my 3.5 inch heels got stuck on the net they used to block around the pool while they work. the next thing i knew, i was out of balance and fell down on my knees, with several eyes having to witness all that.

i had to slowly get up, dust off my pants, and check for bruises.. (and call 911) .. and composed myself. while doing that, i thought to myself, "darn! why do i have to rush to work when wearing my favorite pair of pumps! and why do our pool have to be re-tiled when what it really needs, is to be re-shaped. who wants to swim in a bean-shaped pool when the chances of bumping into someone is high? .. where's your manager!! gusto kong magcomplain!"... hehe of course i didn't call management, nor ranted at the men who were my instant audience during the whole incident. all i had was a bruised ego.

i think i just gave all those men an icebreaker. something to perk up their morning at my expense! hmph! all what's left for me to do was maintain my poise and redeem myself while i slowly walked towards the gate and exited from our apartment. i still could still feel their eyes slowly following me until i reached the gate. once i found myself safe from their gazes and got my senses back, i surprisingly found myself thankful that i didn't fall sideways and sprain my ankle. or worse, i did not take an accidental dive to the pool. i guess i was still lucky. falling down at the pool would have been a definite show stopper.

i just hope those men won't be looking forward for another icebreaker tomorrow. i should really stop procrastinating during mornings and rush myself to work to avoid such accidents.. or, i could also not wear the same pair of shoes while our pool is under construction. :D

in case you're wondering, why the picture? wala lang.. i just want to say, "in fairness, maganda ang shoes ko!" wehehehe. that's the shoe junkie in me talking. :p

cozy morning musings

except for a few exceptionally energetic people, waking up in the morning is a total drag. make that double the effort when it's a monday morning. then raise that to the nth power, when it's a rainy monday morning. you get my point.

i usually turn the volume loud on my radio, listening to class 95's glenn and the flying dutchman for their morning express segment, and looking forward to the right feel good music that would kick me out of my bed. sometimes, we really need something, an outer force, to keep us going. the few exceptionally energetic people don't need things like that though, and i really, really envy them for that. *sigh helplessly*

i look forward to mornings where i won't feel that they are such a drag. when someone would wake me up, and shower me with morning kisses. i need my dreamlover to rescue me. *sigh dreamily*

well, that's the song that perked me up today. mariah carey's Dream Lover. isn't this a nice one? a morning filled with romantic hope despite the weather? on another note, maybe the weather does got something to do with all the romanticism.

I need a lover to give me
The kind of love
That will last always
I need somebody uplifting
To take me away
I want a lover who knows me
Who understands how I feel inside
Someone to comfort and hold me
Through the long lonely nights
Till the dawn
Why don't you take me away

six things about me, as told by my weekend

i know this is a late post, but there's just too much to catch up at work, not to mention some tres kulit people you have to entertain in between. but it's still tuesday. it's not even mid-week yet, so i guess i can still talk about my weekend. but even if a week has already passed, i would defenitely not miss a chance to write about this weekend. it was too surreal :D

since it was hari raya holiday in singapore, my girlfriends and i decided to do get a break and go on vacation. less travel time, more beach bum time and end it with a very relaxing massage was our target. good thing janeth found the perfect place to do all that. the next thing we knew, we were heading to Angsana Resort in Bintan, Indonesia.

i think it would be nice to talk about my weekend by pointing out the things i've learned about me from it. i got this idea from charmingbutsingle's blog. i even just copied her blog's title. but instead of eight, i could only come up with six.

1) i am a beach bum. i can't help it but i just love the beach so much. staring at the calm sea and clear blue sky never fails to leave me breathless. my weekend was filled with lying by the beach, and some swimming. oh, and beach volleyball could be fun, wish i could really learn to play it :)

2) i can learn photography. well, i only have a point and shoot cam, the nikon s7 coolpix. i was playing around the manual settings, adjusting the best combination of the exposure, the flash and the ISO, etc for the scene and i found myself really enjoying the different results that i got. it's fun. so, i realized that i can learn photography to take better pics. not that our pictures aren't great already wehehehe. if we had a more professional cam, like a dslr, we probably gave more justice to the beauty of the resort :D however, i don't have budget for a dslr,not now anyways, so that hobby will have to wait.

3) i'm easy to please. nothing beats life's simple pleasures, like star-gazing. the thing with staying in a big city, star-gazing becomes a luxury. the city lights just steals the thunder from all those beautiful stars spread across the night sky. good thing we were able to do that in the resort. We visited the nearby, more exlusive (more luxurious) resort, the Banyan Tree, which is of the same owner from the resort that we stayed. the Banyan Tree all had villas, and very, very romantic, by the cliff restaurants that is overlooking the south china sea.

one of the open air restos in Banyan Tree had double and single beds lined up, facing the sea. The beds were beautifully setup with flowers scattered on them, some throw pillows and candles by the bedside table. we were lying on one of the beds, cozying up. we simply stayed there and feasted on the star-glazed night sky, weaving our own romantic dreams :) *sigh* dun palang, busog na ako. but our appetite changed its mind when we had a taste of our meal.

4) i luv food trippin'. when you're in a fine resort, fine dining will always be there. wala kami choice :p we had dinner at Banyan Tree's TreeTops cafe. we ordered codfish in some port wine sauce, seafood chowder, watermelon salad, and a bottle of wine. sosy ang mga lola, pa wine-wine pa. we were surrounded by couples who were on their own romantic dates, but i think our bubbly mood (and boisterous laughter), ruined the ambiance for those couples. hehe. our apologies, but we just didn't want to ruin our mood too.

after the sumptuous dinner, we then requested for a buggy to send us back to our resort, with a buggy-licious driver to drive us. :D

5) i know how to pamper me. well, we do have the tendency to be a bit vain. so, after all the talk about the gnawing emptiness creeping at the back of my soul, i decided that i deserve a little pampering. the weekend is all about that anyways. for me, the best way to pamper myself is head off to the spa and get a good massage. and i was lucky, or rather, my friends and i were lucky, that we had the best massage ever. they prepared a very refreshing welcome drink, cucumber juice (you read that right, my first time to try it and it was surprisingly good). The staff was very gracious and very accomodating. the massage itself was very precisely done for your specific need and they used a very soothing aromatic massage oil, which they exclusively sell. their therapists were definitely well-trained to give the best spa service to their guests. i finished off my spa by a refreshing bath and putting on their very soothing jasmine scented lotion. heavenly. there was nothing i could definitely complain about the whole service. the massage removed all my stress and definitely left me on the high :)

6) i'm weak. i find it so difficult to kick old habits. i have to admit that one of the stressful thing that i wanted to get rid off, and one of the things that was leaving me empty the past days, or months even, was some mcsteamy-related stress. my weekend was supposed to be all about relieving myself from that. however, the moment we headed back to singapore, fate was playing some tricks on me. or probably this is just a way to test me how serious am i about the moving on thing...hmm..we'll see.

anyways, if i do get all stressed out once again, then there's a reason i should head back to Angsana Resort and get me another spa! Who knows, i'll reach maldives this time! haha. what a great excuse! :p

to post pics on my multiply site :)

faith at 2 am

i know i should be dozing off by now as i have an early trip. i have to be awake in - 3 hrs. but that's okay, i'm headed to the beach this weekend anyways .. so that'll be a great place to just.. sleep. okay, and swim too :D

one reason i have not blogged much these days (well, compared to last month), is that i am trying to detach myself from some gnawing emptiness because there are just things i need to learn to let go. if possible, i should not let this bog down on me. not anymore. i don't know if i am just in denial, or this is just me, coping.

life's just too beautiful to spend too much time understanding why there are just things that do not work out the way we want to be. i know, there are still too many lessons that i need to learn. and whenever i feel helpless like this, i'll just say to myself.."God's plan is just too grand for me to comprehend.. i just need to put a little more faith on Him".

that's it. a little more faith. :)

spreadin' some luvin'

i was browsing through the different news headlines from my iGoogle, when one subject from my 'Reuters:Oddly Enough' gadget caught my attention. It said, "A bad relationship can cause heart attack"... and i was like, what's so odd with that?

bad relationships can definitely cause you a heart attack. it slowly destroys you. worse, it could definitely kill you if you let it be. i mean, the article said so and those who just got out from one could definitely testify to that. but hey, i don't mean to say that i've just been out of a very very bad relationship, or that i've ever been to one that's close to the killing kind. i mean, we do get to experience a bad relationship at least once, and we all know it's very intoxicating and very consuming. and once you're out of it, you realize that it was not worth to be in it at all.

i am not limiting relationships here to romantic relationships. it could be relationships with friends turned enemies. you could be in a huge family feud, and that's also a form of being in a bad relationship. but i guess families are the most difficult one to get rid off. admit it, families are just those people we can't get away with, cause we didn't choose them in the first place. we're basically stuck with them.

my point is, being in a bad relationship is really not worth it. i mean, if you are in one, get out of it if you still can. while you still can. you will just be in a situation that would ruin you, and whatever is left of your self worth. but i don't mean to say make war with those involved. getting out of a bad relationship could also mean making peace with the person involved. if you think you've been enslaved, intoxicated by someone, talk to that person and try to approach to a healthier, more peaceful atmosphere together. i mean if that person is really worth it in your life. if possible, try to build good relationships with those around you. who knows what you might find out? it would be really surprising to learn that you're the toxic one in the relationship. you're the one that's bringing all the negativity. you're the one who's creating that clashing aura. well, this is just a way of looking at the other side of the coin.

so, strip off that pride, wash away those anger, rinse off that jealousy, and spread love y'all. :p

i sound like a hippie :D well, that's just me getting a bit carried away...but, it would really be such a sad thing if we die from a broken heart, right? :)

garfield wisdom

whenever i'm so stressed or high-strung at work, or whenever my day just seems so grey, dull, gloomy, uneventful, whatever ... i always treat myself with some garfield humour. this cat never fails to crack me up, and loosen up all my uptight nerves.

i was reading my garfield comic strip for today, and i think i just had the best laugh for the day. pathetic? nah. shallow? maybe, but we're entitle to be shallow. :)

"yeah, you, you, and you.. make me pancakes or i'll hose you!" LOL... don't you wish you could just do that to someone who really irks you up for no apparent reason? i bet the shock on the person's face will bring the same smile garfield did when i read this. ahh.. mean me.

a doze of garfield humor a day, keeps all my stress away. add up the 'Garfield of the Day' gadget to your iGoogle then. :)

making it a grey matter

the caffeine-overdosed, slightly tipsy zombie is still awake. she's torturing her already pathetic self with heart-wrenching last episodes of grey's anatomy season 3, trying hard (but failing terribly) not to relate her miserable relationship angsts to whatever the equally misarble characters are facing.

she tells herself, tears are for sissies. no one cries over a jerk.. but darn, mcsteamy's just so freaking hot. her mind wanders about ways to nurture her maternal instincts, whilst she runs away to the farthest corner at the hint of a coming proposal. the next thing she knew, she made herself vulnerable and jumped at the next guy available. headlights were flashing everywhere, but she was just too stubborn to pay attention. she believed she knew all about the game. she thought she was in control and she can handle it all. but when her own emotions betrayed her, she realized that she's just as naive, optimistic and hopeful like any little girl dreaming about the one day when prince charming will come. the biatch in her thinks that really really sucks.

but then, the drama's over when the show stops. tears have dried up, and reality is starting to sink in. however, these words from one of the episodes will remain:

desire leaves our heart broken, it wears us out
desire can wreck your life

but as tough as wanting something can be,
the people who suffer the most are those who don't know what they want

getting sense out of a sleepless night

i was really supposed to be tired last night after having attended the dedication day of the christian life program at st. peter's and paul church organized by sfc-singapore. i stayed on a bit much later than i expected to. after the event, some friends gathered at starbucks for late night coffee, which is usually a bad idea if you do try to get some coffee. i opted for a green tea latte then, which i wasn't quite sure if there was too much cream, or there was too little green tea in it. oh well, i didn't bother much of the drink as i was busy chitchatting, and laughing my heart out, while taking pictures (something that's really not to be missed when these people do hang out together). all in all, there wasn't really nothing to complain despite how late it was when we called it a night.

i arrived home thirty minutes past midnight. but only went to bed at almost two after my nightly routines (not the acrobatic kind), and checking my emails and catching up with friends at gtalk. i was supposed to be dead-tired the moment i laid down in bed. however, i did not get enough of the much-needed sleep. i think it took me lots of daydreaming before i finally dozed off, and i was awake wondering if i actually slept at all. the sun wasn't still up. my roommie's still asleep (she gets up at about 6 am), and i can't get back to sleep. darn!

was i really that restless yesterday when i've been keeping myself really busy at work? was it because i was more troubled yesterday than i was the day before? was it because of the green tea latte? was it? was it? oh heck.. i can't think of any better reason. i will just have to deal with the fact that i'm a caffeine-overdosed, walking zombie today here at work.

but today's gonna be better - cause there's really nowhere else for things to go but be better. right? well, that's some optimism there! i feel like this gallon of energy ready to burst and tonight, i'm hoping to finally find an outlet for that. i just wish some nathan petrelli would fly me off to never never land, or wherever he brought peter with him, before i bring out more chaos to myself. but i don't mind if it's going to be nathan himself, i so love his dirty, i-dont-care-about-the-world look at season 2. so intense. so luv it :D

on another note, i think it's just a bit sad when there's so much that i would like to do, but i could not pick on a specific thing to start with. plus, all these talks about wedding plans (not mine), and relationship disasters (not mine either) are making me loose my balance despite them being seriously interesting topics. seriously. isn't there anything else we can care more about ? world peace perhaps?

addiction and retail therapy

i've been restless for more than a month already. there's some addiction that i'm working on getting rid off - and that's not shopping :D well, i am in dire need of a diversion from some inner struggle that's been eating me. it's like i want to be freed from this hard habit to break.

i've tried getting myself busy. but i can't be busy all the time. but even if i were, i get easily distracted. and i always welcome distraction with open arms. so it doesn't always work. thus i've failed terribly and miserably in keeping my sanity most of the time. the easiest thing i could resort to in times like this is - retail therapy.

however, this intoxication is something that could not be rid off easily by some shoes or bag. not anymore, not even temporarily. i became desperate for something different. something that i don't usually go for when i'm in retail therapy.

the first splurge was my inmotion altec lansing iPod dock with FM tuner, S$289, which i bought more than a month ago. i needed an instant fix from a betrayal that i never saw coming. yeah, i still remembered that dreadful afternoon where all of this started. but i'm not going into detail about that as i'm supposed to be forgetting and moving on.

you see, i'm not a gadget person. i'm a shoe person. i buy shoes when i'm really depressed, or even a bit depressed, or when i think i should be depressed. well, you get what i mean. my point is, this gadget-loving-me is something really new. i'm expecting to experience a different sense of satisfaction from my new buy. i guess i did. now, each time i look at my iPod dock, i don't remember much the "incident". instead, i still find myself in disbelief how i was able to splurge such amount for that little black thing on my table that i only use as an FM radio most of the time. if it's an FM radio that i really wanted, i can get one for S$50 and buy a separate speaker that could cost much much less. i guess this is "the diversion" at work. i don't get into something like this after buying an unreasonably expensive pair of shoes. i can always defend my new pair from reason.

i was fine for a few days after that. but of course it didn't last. we are entitled for some lapse of judgment at some point in our life. i went on relapse, and was suffering more. i'm still restless. and each time i felt like i need something to divert my energy to, i went for more retail therapy.

there's still so much in my list to buy while this restlessness still hangs in the air. but i know i'll get over this and retail therapy is my lame excuse for my unnecessary buys. i know it's not really solving my problem. it's creating new ones instead - like how to deal with an empty pocket.

i should really start thinking that i'm tougher than i give myself credit for. my addiction can be solved without the aid of retail therapy. but while i'm not really so convinced with that, i have to keep my distance from these shops. and hope i don't fall for the same mistakes again. and again. and again. well, it's not called an addiction if i could easily help myself from it, right?

and like how a local would put it - so how?

all-daughtry

yes, i couldn't simply get enough of daughtry. i was free for the afternoon, so i decided to show up at their autograph signing session at the HMV store at orchard. i didn't really mind if i couldn't get my cd signed if there were too many people queueing up for the band's signatures. i'll be fine as long as i could get closer pictures of the whole band :)

the session was around 4pm, so there wasn't a big crowd at the venue. giggly highschool girls comprised most of the fans hanging out for their autographs. but there were also young boys bringing out their guitars, which i find really cute :) i was tempted to join the highschool girls the moment the whole band walked towards the platform where they would be signing their autographs. but i didn't, of course. my jaw just dropped to see chris daughtry walking up on stage. but i recovered myself after a second naman :D hehehe.

since there wasn't too many people queueing up for the autograph signing, i decided to get up on the platform and have my cd cover signed. so, i was able to get up close and personal with chris daughtry and the whole band. yey! *keeping myself from jumping and getting gaga over the whole experience* .. i think i didn't breath the whole time i was standing in front of him. i was afraid i'd swoon. lol.

so i guess that concludes my daughtry experience. but of course, i'll still always be a fan... :)

about daughtry

i am not a daughtry fanatic. well, not really anyways.

when i heard over the radio that the band is coming to singapore about weeks ago, i just frantically got psyched that i knew i have to get tickets. i basically just shouted on my gtalk that daughtry is going to be in singapore. some heaven-scent friend (jason, that's u :p) got the message and was kind enough to help me how to get tickets since the show was marked as 'invites only'. i got to be invited, di ba?

so when i got my tickets, i didn't do leaps, nor did i spread to my friends how to get their own invites. i basically just freed my whole week for this concert, to make this night as my week's highlight. (i wonder what next week's gonna be?). no dates (asa pa!), no appointments, just pure daughtry.

when the day of the concert came (yesterday), i managed to go to the office a little bit early than usual (just about 45 minutes earlier lang naman). i compromised with my boss that i won't take a whole day leave tomorrow as long as he will agree that i leave for work earlier than usual. good thing the bigger boss was out the whole afternoon (was he at the concert too?), so that part wasn't a real problem.

i was early at the venue (thanks to my boss). but i decided to grab some coffee first as i was afraid to doze off during the show, and grabbed some muffins too while i'm at it. i was surprised that the queue was so long already when we got to the venue (st. james powerstation), and it was still about thirty minutes before they open up the place. i didn't expect that there'd be this many daughtry fans out here too.

good thing we were able to squeeze in a good spot during the show. but alas, i was the only one at my corner who was practically holding myself from jumping and screaming my lungs out to the songs that my heart knows so well. i couldn't take a good video for a whole song as my hands and knees have gotten weak surprisingly. i couldn't even carry my own bag. good thing, janeth was there to help me out. hehe. i basically rolled over and went to heaven during the show.

but that wasn't the night's highlight ofcourse. after the concert, when we exited in one of the hallways, daughtry and i crossed ways like we were destined to be. he smiled, and i kissed him smiled back. *dreamy eyed*. well, of course that didn't happen. the body guards were blocking our paths, as if he got the hint that i'll throw myself towards chris (excuse me no, di ako fanatic! :D ). hehe. sige na nga, i'll just content myself that he was once an arm's length and a bodyguard away from me. :D

but seriously, it was an amazing night just listening to great songs from a very, very talented singer like chris daughtry. i think his band members were equally talented too. it was such an awesome show. and chris being such a hottie is just an added bonus.

'punyal' thinks

i am ...

"a prisoner. a masochist. an unstable element. a feeble malleable masochist who lacks evolutionary progress. or, an evolving weak masochist listening to portions for foxes."

thanks to 'punyal' bear (he fakes meditation by hybernating) for that very precise description of me right now. you will always be my meditating kinky cylindrical species of a friend.

letting my hair down

Three little birds, sat on my window.
And they told me I don't need to worry.
Summer came like cinnamon
So sweet,
Little girls double-dutch on the concrete.

Maybe sometimes, we've got it wrong, but it's alright
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
Oh, don't you hesitate.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.


- corinne bailey rae - "put your records on"

this is a song that perfectly describes my general mood these days.

i've learned to compromise with myself these days. if i really do want to get away with the stress from all those decisions, decisions and decisions, i have to learn to stop taking those turns where i end up putting myself in the middle of crossroads. challenges are good. but we don't always have to invite them in.

luvin my busy days

So what’s up with me lately? Like anybody’s asking. But heck, I’m really really trying to be less controlling with myself. I need to learn to think less, worry less. I need to learn to let go of things I have little control about. I need to enjoy more of what life has handed me.

So I’m learning.

I’ve been keeping myself busy. If I can’t be busy with work, I might as well be busy with something else. But well, work has also its own plans - I’ve really been busy with work this week when I’ve managed to schedule my weeknights with the something to do.

But I guess that’s how life is. We plan, but not everything always go as how we’d like to be. Thanks to life’s little surprises.

Monday night was GK meeting night. I’ve been volunteering to help out with this organization - the Gawad Kalinga. We’re helping out this GK Love Concert, whose proceeds would go to the Mission 4 Nutrition Program which will be launched to the GK villages in the Philippines. Read on here to learn about Gawad Kalinga. The concert is this weekend, and the producer needs as many help as she can. She’s Singaporean, and she’s the key person that helped out in the launching of this nutrition program. She’s very moved about the goals of GK to lift the poverty in our country. Simply by looking at how these non-Filipinos are doing their best to help our own kababayans, is inspiring enough to make you want to do your own share in your own little ways.

Tuesday night was all about Shanghai food. A former colleague of mine, from Shanghai, invited me with other friends for dinner and try out close to authentic dishes famous in Beijing and Shanghai. I had this limited idea that all Chinese eat are noodles. I was wrong of course. We ordered a variety of food, seven dishes all in all - for four people. Yes, that’s a lot. And even if I just walked on my way home, I still felt that no calorie was burned from what I had that night. What I enjoyed most was their really really yummy and juicy pork dumplings, which is half the price of this fancy Chinese restaurant that I used to go to. Too bad, I got no pictures.

Wednesday night was all Japanese. Jason and I was eyeing on this Japanese restaurant that we passed by during our first dinner at Café Oliv. We went to Waraku Japanese Restaurant, which has outlets opening at Clark Quay’s Central Mall already. The place was quite small, and well, very Japanese. I wasn’t about to be disappointed with their dishes too. They just have too many options that it took a while for us to order. I wanted to get a taste of everything. Hehe. I ended up ordering Salmon Udon in cream sauce, and I will definitely order this again when I get the chance to come back. It’s like this creamy pasta sauce, which is lighter and almost soupy. And did I mention that they serve their noodles in this very very huge bowl? The dish was more than enough for two .. But of course, Jason finished all that he ordered. Hehe. He had a Tsubaki Set, which was this sort of Udon soup, and BBQ eel toppings on rice. Did I mention that we also orderd Futomaki? :D

Then, tonight.. Thursday night, is all about gadget night. Finally, my crimson XPS M1330 arrived. Yippee! I’m in love with my new Dell. Who needs a boyfriend now? Haha! I still do .. Lol.

So that’s it about the week. My m1330 and I still needs a lot of acquainting to do. Tomorrow night’s SFC teaching night. Then my weekend’s packed too, with the concert and probably, if I’m lucky, I’ll be watching Swan Lake On Ice.

Busy, busy, busy. I love it when I’m busy.

l-o-v-e

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build all these defenses. You build up a whole suit of armor so that nothing can hurt you. Then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness. So simple a phrase like 'Maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart-pain. I hate love." - Neil Gaiman

where i am at loss for words, neil gaiman says it so perfectly .. word by word.