don't give up..just yet

i've been having lazy mornings ever since i moved in to this new place. i could barely get up at around 9 am in the morning. or i just lack a lot of motivation to go early to work. but when i do get at the office, i get so busy. or should i say, i try hard to be busy. i dont want to think about things that i know would just make me dawdle. if possible i dont want to be too preoccupied with my relationship problems. coz technically, i am involved with one one guy. but physically and emotionally, there's no one. how did i get myself into that? would have been a lot better if it were otherwise, right?

everytime i want to officially quit in my quasi-relationships, i get messages saying 'don't give up just yet'. are these messages for my "relationships", or is it for my work. coz i do badly want to give up on both. i want to start off new. take a month long leave. breath new air. see new people. meet up with strangers.

i can't wait to see great things ahead of me. what kind of determination should i keep? on what should i put my faith into? what should be my main focus in this life? i promised myself that this year would be for my career. but could i really focus on that and neglecting my relationships with friends and family? could i really get on board this journey all by myself? i can't think of an answer. but if i am really bound for this, then i guess i have no choice but pick up my heels and go where i should go. right?

ctrl-alt-delete

bad luck. i've been sitting in front of this computer for almost an hour and i've written more than a weekend's daily events. and just by a press of a few keyboard keys, everything just got deleted. zilch. nothing left. and i've poured my heart out, and now, i can't go back to what i had written. @#$#W$#@$#$@#$#@ is all i can say.

now, i can't even care to list my weekend's worth of horoscopes. insights that makes me think and rethink about how i try to see each day.

i could cry from bad luck.

enough.

a new place, a new life, new outlook

kf and i are, i guess, fine. we've managed to settle what needs to be settled, i hope so. well, i've had made some drama in my life and that probably was just a one of it. but i just hope it will stick that way for a far longer time.

the past few days has been tough at work. i always end up stressed at night when i get home. plus, i just moved in to this new apartment last weekend. it was tough without that much help with the packing and unpacking of all my stuffs. but i had a great deal of sorting of my things. i have identified some things that are just about time for me to throw, or to give away, and the things that are just for keeps.

i love my new place. it is smaller, yet very cozy. i guess i am going to be fine here.

my mind is not working right now. i have to think less about things that bother me. i have to learn to detach.

new year.. new blog

i've decided to create a new blog for me. this time, i just want to write down as carefree as i can. hopefully jot down the lessons life could teach and somehow, check on how much i have learned. to start, i've learned today that we could never keep anyone. and we could never hold on to anyone most specially those who are a thousand miles away, unless, they themselves would come home to you. so right now, long distance relationship is and will always be a big no-no. experience has taught me well. i just hope i wont be so stubborn the next time.