the lizard and i

i was engrossed at the internet when i saw a lizard pass through the wall behind my pc. well, actually i didn't notice it until i heard it say, "tsk tsk tsk", before it decided to disappear behind the picture frame on the wall.

that was my first time to hear a lizard produce any sound. i thought they are one of those silent creatures, like roaches or ants, or i wasn't just observant to lizards before. however, maybe lizards are indeed silent creatures, but i was just imagining things that it was trying to catch my attention.

did that lizard actually pitied my state right now? so what if i am an overweight, almost thirty something single woman who's too preoccupied at how to get off her debts and loose weight but far from succeeding on both? grrr.. bad lizard!

i'm not minding lizards from now on.

a chapter closed

i was at the embassy earlier today to have my student visa cancelled. it was the last step i had to do to finally have at peace with my decision of not pursuing THE other dream.

as i waited for my turn inside the embassy, i get to contemplate about things that led me to the seat where i was at that exact moment. i went through a lot of anxieties and worries to reach this decision. it wasn't an easy thing, and i had some price to pay because of my indecisions.

i was also a bit jittery thinking if i needed to explain my side to the consul officer. i hate explaining myself, my actions. and for someone who's a fool to always commit the wrong ones, i was hating myself more. so, while i waited, i had prepared myself for some interrogation .... that luckily didn't take place. whew!

when i got hold of my passport, i looked at the bold "CANCELLED" mark across my visa. i then knew at that moment, there's no more space for thoughts of what-might-have-beens. another roller coaster ride has just ended. and i've had learned a lot from the whole thing.

"dili lagi magtaka-taka ug enter."