rushing through the holidays

the holidays have been very busy for me that i've missed my christmas post. even if i've taken days off from work, there were still lots of things to get busy about. well, with my parents visiting, i had a full-week agenda all-ready for their stay, though most of it were changed cuz of the nonstop pouring.

it's been a rainy christmas in singapore. there wasn't much outdoor sight seeing that we could do. i was thinking of bringing my parents to the bird park, for the sole reason that i haven't been to the place. but we weren't able to do that cuz of the weather. i was just glad that there was a garden festival held in singapore during their visit. at least there's one thing that i'm definitely sure my mother would enjoy and no rain can stop that.

the garden festival show-cased amazing flora from different countries, awesome flower arrangements, and breath-taking themed gardens. my mother's exuberance from seeing all those wonderful displays was simply contaminating. i've been growing up around flowers, plants and gardens, being my mother's favourite hobby, but i never got a bit of her green thumb. on the other hand, father was simply being himself. whatever mother wants, he makes sure she gets. such a spoiler, my father is. i guess that's how he makes up with not being with the family most of his time.

i treated my parents for a seafood dinner during christmas eve. good thing the chili crab and cereal prawns were as delicious as i remembered. ;) we then attended the evening mass right after dinner, and then called up the rest of the family back home. we then got a surprise call from my dear younger brother whom i thought have forgotten about his family already. christmas is really different if it's not spent with family.

my parents and i then took a two day trip to malaysia after christmas. the trip was almost cancelled because mother got sick. however, i wouldn't allow that to happen and urged her to go despite her condition. i know that was so inconsiderate of me, but all i could think of then was that i've made reservations and plans already. but eventually, i paid the price for my behavior. mother was really grumpy all through out the travel. the guilt was overwhelming for having forced my parents for a vacation that i just wanted for myself. i've learned a huge lesson during that trip. never plan vacations for parents that consists of lots of walking, bus or boat travel. they're not as young as you think they were. as people get older, a vacation might consist of something that's really, really laid back like stay at a hotel room for the whole day.

anyhow, things turned out for the better after my parents took the rest they badly needed. we stayed at one of the mountain resorts of berjaya hills, the colmar tropical. it's french-inspired hotel, and i felt like i was living in a theme park. the resort was quite unique, and we had this two story hotel room. however, the food wasn't all worth fussing about. good thing they had this japanese garden at the mountain top. we were like transported into different worlds by a portal in the form of the shuttle bus. the cool breeze at the top of the mountain made us appreciate and enjoy our stay more. i guess the strain for dragging my parents along to this vacation paid off. well, we took great pictures ;) (to post later).

good thing it wasn't raining in KL during our short stay. i guess that contributed to the success of my planned vacation. however, it was continuously pouring in singapore when we got back. my parents wasn't able to do some last minute shopping as planned, and i was stuck with my study-plan preparations and EP related problems.

now that my parents got back to cebu already, i had to settly my own problems. i had my EP cancelled as it already expired. currently, i'm on social visit status. that means, no visa interview for me until i get my new EP approved. that means, all plans are on hold, and i'm back to the waiting game of how my future will unfold.

just to get these problems off my head, i've indulged myself to lots of cleaning. like cleaning the house could sort some of the mess that my life is in right now. as long as i get myself busy, the wait won't be this excruciating. good thing tomorrow's new year eve already. and all i could think about this new year is my new adventure.

the wait

each day i catch my breath
as i wait for you to come
you're drawing close to me, soon
and only time can tell
how i could almost touch you
how i could almost feel you
smell you, hold you

but nothing's coming close
nothing yet, for now
all i can do is hold my breath
as i wait for you to come

rain, rain go away

the rain's just been pouring hard all day and somehow, my mood just gave in to the cold breeze.

i was in indonesia with cha, rems and janeth for the weekend. yesterday's weather was great for a beach weekend getaway. the sky's just bright and blue, and we did enjoy some pictorials by the beach, some swimming at the resort's pool, and an outdoor, fancy dinner. life's little luxuries ;)

then sunday came and everything was just dark outside. we were scheduled to leave for singapore, by ferry, so i was worried how the ferry ride might go. but that was not all. that morning after breakfast, we were set to enjoy a ride with a buggy to tour around the resort's vast golf course. however, the overcast spoiled our plans. twas just too cold to go out in the rain. so instead, we just sat down at the hotel lobby and waited for our bus to take us to the ferry terminal. what a more exciting alternative :(

as soon as we got to singapore on a safe ferry ride, the weather hasn't changed. twas pouring as hard as it was in Bintan island. this just shows how near singapore is to that island of indonesia. nweys, our struggle didn't end at the ferry terminal. we had to wait a pretty long time to get a taxi. well, we have to wait at the taxi queue (as that's how things always are in singapore). it took us about an hour before we fnally got a cab.

cha and i hurried to buy some food for a christmas party with former NSP colleagues. however, we didn't get to attend the party. when i thought the clouds were giving in to the sky, the rain just continued to pour harder. it was impossible to go out already, so we just gave in to the exhaustion from the long day. so instead of being at the party, i am now weighing if i should just get some sleep or blog. guess what i chose? :D

nothing really came out as planned, thanks to the weather.

rainy days like this just gives me the lows. even if i know i'm really okay deep inside, loneliness could be magnified to some extent when it's pouring outside. well, a cold weather is best when there's someone to cuddle with. but if that's not possible, might as well treat yourself with a rich, hot, hot man ... errr, chocolate drink, home-delivered. yum, yum! (i'm thinking about the choclit drink, honest!).. but i won't mind if the drink comes with the hot delivery guy! :p ... wishful thinking, that's all it's going to be.

back to my melancholic thoughts, there's really nothing i can do about the gloomy atmosphere outside. i might as well savor the cold breeze by sleeping early, and cuddle with my fluffy-fluffy pillows and wool blanket to keep me warm. besides, life's not all about what's missing in it. right?

as the song goes, "rain, rain go away, the world is waiting for the sun" (by breaking benjamin).

there's always a bright, sun-shiny day to look forward to! the thought would have been really uplifting if only tomorrow's not a monday. :(

annyeong haseyo

phone rings..

me: hello

other end: Annyeong haseyo!

was i hearing it right? that surely got me bewildered, but i was so tempted to reply back "Annyeong haseyo!". good thing i got my my senses back.

me: hello? who's this?

other end: Annyeong haseyo!

me: Sorry? (like yeah, i didnt understand what she was saying!)
othr end: (babbling something korean)

me: i think you got the wrong number

other end: ah, hello! this is *someone* (a name i didnt get) aunt! (in an obvious difficulty)

me: i think you got the wrong number.

other end: 96713655 ?

me: yes

then the line just went dead.

for a moment there, i really thought i was in some korean tv drama. hehehe. if that was a guy calling, i would have shouted "Gongchan!" nyahahaha. :D

that's what you call, too-much-korean-movies syndrome. can't blame me. :)

as time went by

i can't believed november passed by so quickly. i never aced any interviews. well, the last one i had was the only one and i obviously never heard from the hotties who interviewed me.. feels like i've been dumped after the first date :p

seriously, my boss probably knows that i might start looking for another job as my contract now ends in three weeks time. i suddenly got overloaded with deadlines to beat, clients to please and testers to actually test my patience. how will i have time to search for other jobs and set me up for interviews when i averagely go home from work at about midnight? work even managed to squeeze into my weekends, even. i sense some conspiracy theory here.

sometimes, i tell my roommate that if this is how life's going to be for me, work, work, work... i must love my career this much! :p hehehehe who am i kidding? well, how am i going to find my potential husband now? like the choices are negligible at the office, and besides, i also despise office romance. never works :p

but at least i am seeing life differently these days. despite the worries,the sun seems to shine brighter. must be the holiday season that's catching up on me already.

why c++? .. and why not?

interviewer: so, what do you like and not like with c++?

fictional me: i like c++ because it's the only programming language i know, so i'm comfortable with it (flashing a big smile)

real me: wasn't there any smarter thing for me to say? ..like something technical perhaps?

interviewer: O..kay. (looking perplexed)... what do you not like with c++? (he obviously didn't get my answer.. so did i! so duha nami! hehe)

fictional me: it's the expectations from other people. like, once they know that i know about mfc, they will expect that i know everything about mfc. but i can't just know everything about it.

real me: Ahyooh!! couldn't it get any worse? can somebody eat me alive now?

hmm.. do you think i have a chance on the job? if not, sayang. gwapo pa naman ang nag interview. :D

*********

a few questions and several stupid answers later...

interviewer: i hope you don't mind me asking a few questions on demographics. are you married? or single?

fictional me: oh, i don't mind... i am single. (flashing my biggest smile)

real me: not only single, available pa! ..teehee!

interviewer: any plans of getting married?

fictional me: (sounding surprised) oh, no... no plans as of now (blush)

real me: you can make me change my mind .. (don a sweet smile, and bat my eyelids)

interviewer: how long do you plan to stay in singapore?

fictional me: it really depends... as long as i still get a challenging job here, then i'd like to stay longer (aba! na-ay sense ang tubag... basta lagi dili technical question, mutonong ako answer!)

real me: well, if we'll be settling here ..hon-ey, then... there'd be no other place in the world that i'd like to go..

now i am really regretting that i'm not getting that job.

domesticated career woman

getting a career woman domesticated is such a tough task. to think she's still single. getting a "married" career woman, domesticated, is simply a terrible thing to do.

when i was yet in highschool, or even college, i never imagined myself to be cooking my own food, doing my laundry, fixing my own clothes. well, i just thought it was an impossible thing to mix with your studies. when i started working, the only thing that changed was that i had to pay for own laundry services and food, instead of my parents. the only household chore that i was tasked to do was to keep my abode clean and comfy enough to live in. but when i came here, i had to do everything now. i clean, not only the room, this time, but the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom, the storage area, the other common toilet. just everything. not only that, i have to do my laundry. but that's not the worst yet. i still have to iron my clothes, which i so so hate to do most. why can't all my clothes be wash and wear?

well, i don't mind the cleaning, the laundry and all that. but it's consuming my whole weekend. although staying at home is better than going to the malls. at least i could avoid from impulsive buying. but that's not it. my idea of a weekend could is to simply relax at home, watch my favorite movies. rest after a night's clubbing. :D

i so miss my weekends back in cebu. where i don't mind sleeping til noon on my saturdays, watch a movie or have dinner with friends. then my sundays would be a "me" day, where i have a lazy lunch, then visit a salon for a manicure, pedicure which takes most of my afternoon, go to church, and have a relaxing evening. then i'd get ready for not-as-stressful week ahead. no wonder i had more time to blog before.

now, i can't do all that anymore. my "me" days (? .. it's barely a day!) are those spent for my salsa classes. saturdays are usually spent house cleaning, and if i get lucky, i could do some laundry or go out at night to the salsa club. then i usually end up sleeping late on sundays doing my other personal stuffs. i even consider watching a movie now as a waste of time. i can't make this as my life outside work. my what-should-be a stress reliever is also stressful. i need more time to relax, recharge and be ready for another busy week. (weekends should last three days!)

it's not that i would have to give up doing my house chores, or like i should stop doing my laundry. they're like work, i can't just stop doing that. well, unless i pay someone to do my work for me.. oops, mali. i pay someone to do my chores for me. :) but i don't have the luxury to do that... it's way too expensive here. (na miss nuon nako si manang labandera) hehe.

oh well, i better get some sleep now if i really did have that tiring weekend.

changing tones

"alin, alin, alin ang naiba.
isipin kung alin, ang na-iba."

seriously.

it's tangy, lighter, and maybe, a bit lost.

i'm hoping that the change in tones shifts my general mood. the immensity of the void has caused me to mull over on unreasonable thoughts lately. i'm afraid i would loose control of my own sensibilities any minute if i don't do anything. even if it takes a sleepless night, i'm making this as my replacement therapy, as i try to get my ground back.

when hope still floats

last night, i felt a very discomforting pain in my body. i thought i was going to die right then. so i told myself, "is this it? is this how life would be just for me?". i felt so insignificant knowing that my passing away would not matter to anybody. but for an instant, i felt glad for i wouldn't have to worry about what to do with my life.

i talked to God for a minute. if my life was going to end that way, then i'm sorry if i hadn't lived the life as i should have, whatever it is. maybe i deserved the life being preempted before it was given a chance to blossom. however, it was as if God was giving me a choice to give in to my desperation. like i could choose to die right then, or continue to live. but from what i've read somewhere, life only ends when one puts out his light for hope. in hesitation, i heard myself plea for a second chance. i should continue to believe that hope still springs around the corner. i just need to look out for it in the unusual places.

i guess God heard my plea. i still managed to wake up and see the light this morning.

my day went back to normal. i took the usual bus ride to the office, thinking that it's going to be just another day. but somehow, something inside me felt different. i probably learned something from last night's dream. though my problems are the same as yesterday, i think there are still more solutions that i could find before the day ends.

btw, it's the day of the saints. i think a saint just saved me.

career dilemma

i took the day off at work today because i've had this fever thing going inside me. yeah, seriously, there's a fever that was just too shy to go out. but i've taken the required paracetamols inorder not to take things worse, and enough sleep. that's probably just all that i needed after having such a tough week last week, from the travel and all the pressures at work.

enough on justifying my leave, i took this day as a chance, to wander about where i am going with my life, career wise. you see, my contract is ending by the 27th of this year. i surely am not renewing my contract with my current agent. my only option to stay with the company that i'm working with is for me to be absorbed as a permanent employee (which my technical lead says that my boss had such plans already). however, do i still want to continue despite all this stress? will my boss remember that he made such a statement? what if december comes and i won't have a job? what will happen to my 2007? would i take this chance to leave singapore? if that's the case, would i be able to celebrate my new year in hongkong then? (oops, that question is not inline with my career dilemma!).

my future lays too many options for me now that i am so impatient to find out which one i should actually pick. more so, i have to choose wisely this time as i am not getting any younger. i have responsibilities to weigh and there's no chance to dawdle when making my decisions. however, i can't also just keep up with a career that i'm obviously not born with, and stay because of the money it's giving me (it's not much, but it sustains me definitely). i'll simply end up burnt out, old, and miserable (and not even rich) if i continue to do this.

everybody's dream is to land on their dream jobs. this might be a chance for me to pursue my dream job. however, if i do that, i have another obstacle to face : what is my dream job? i want to do so many things, but i can't pick one that i want to do best. it would be simpler if i just wake up one morning and say to myself, this is what i am born to do. wouldn't that be just nice?

there's one solution to this problem, but i'm not so sure if i have the luxury to do it though. i could go from one job to another, without thinking of the pay. i think this is the best way to solve my problem. but could i ever do that? career-driven that i thought i am, would i have enough guts to plunge into something like that? face the unkown, conquer my fears. that would be too easy to say.

another thing, would giving up the six years of experience in this career would really be worth it? or is this just the jaded, burnt out career woman in me, babbling about this nonsense? the wiser thing to do is move forward for this career and look for the opportunity where my creative side would just simply come out and make this career path more enjoyable and fun. when have these IT stuffs been fun? when? (tell me, quando!?)

i'm probably just looking for a loophole at this dump that i am in. i admit, i am really just tired about this career. i don't see myself growing anymore. i can't appreciate what i am doing, or what i am contributing. how else would i ace my job interviews then if i continue to feel this way? would i just allow myself to crumble at my present job?

to paint you a picture of this dilemma, i could even picture myself becoming a domestic helper in europe (well, i am quite picky about the place). you see, i know how to clean bathrooms and get satisfaction from it, as compared to having solved a memory leak problem. so, house cleaning, anyone?

walking away

i just walked to the other building that was two blocks away from our office since i had some papers to submit. as i was heading back, i saw myself walking down this narrow corridor and all of a sudden, i silently wished that i would just not stop walking. i wished the corridor would go a long, long way, even miles. i wished i could just walk, and walk, and walk nonstop. i wished i could just go through the gates of our building, walk across the street, walk through the trees across our office, and whatever is on the other side of the road. i won't mind if my feet would hurt from the 3-inch heels i'm wearing right now. i'd just regret i didn't wear my sneakers, but i would bear all the pain, as long i just won't stop walking.

walking away is some sort of healing. it's a therapy. walking without thinking about your destination, is the simplest form of escape. it's escaping from all the responsibilities that bind you, that exhausts you, that wears your energy down. i didn't want to stop walking cause i'm tired of being bounded by my own imaginary set of rules. these rules are defined since it's the logical thing to do. these rules exist, cause there's no space for immaturity.

but i just want to leave all those rules and break whatever that confines me, simply let the wanderer in me take over. why can't i just pack my bag and buy that one way ticket to nowhere?

in need of a lift

i feel so tired today. stressed-out, unmotivated, hopeless, down, depressed, sick, etc. these monsters have been periodically visiting me whenever i'm at work, or on the bus or train, or whenever i'm just alone. the music in my mp3 player couldn't seem to lift up my mood anymore. i'm starting to hear them as noise recently. lately, my days have been just a series of lows, and lows, and yes, the occasional highs, i admit. but most of the time, i'm as hazy as singapore is these days. right now, i'm simply tired of being tired.

*lets out a big sigh, and slumps her shoulders like she just placed the whole world on them*

i know my problems would be nothing compared to the effects of a nuclear test. however, for anyone who sees the world around her almost strangely, and who is more lost than ever, her problems gets magnified a thousand times. she thinks that its effects on her surmounts that of sumatra's forest fires.

who am i to complain? it's just that.. it saddens me so that i just feel so empty despite the chaotic world out there. i should learn how to look at my day in a different light. i should bring myself to appreciate more the miracles that happen around me - like other people falling in love, couples getting married, mothers expecting babies, famous people adopting orphans in africa, orphanages being built (and yeah, i really care about that in the most sincere way i can, that i, too, am thinking of adopting even if i'm not close to fame as madonna or brangelina).

*let's out a heavier sigh*

now that i've come to think about these stuffs, i should just stop being so egocentric and think that only my world matters. states people should worry with me on whether i should get a new job or not when my contract ends. what hollywood diet should work best for me? would i ever live to experience the greatest love ever? would i even get married? where should i be retiring, in cebu, the queen city of the southern philippines, or the more laid back country in southern france (with dreamy eyes while thinking about it)? or on more feasible, realistic worries, should i put up a website for people to vote if i need to renovate this blogspace? (hmm. since we're on the topic, honestly, i'm not anymore into the look-and-feel of this space. i think it gets more and more depressing everytime i see it in my browser. too many sad memories perhaps. don't you agree?)

putting my renovation plans aside, i know i'm less than a speck in this whole picture that God has created. i have to wake up cause there's really no excuse for becoming such a drama queen.

but for the meantime, in case anyone's feeling high, lift me up, will ya?

money-wise

i think i am finally growing up - financially, that is. i can now resist impulsive buying and actually do some mental arguments about which and which not to buy. i've come to realize that not all expensive, better packaging shower gels are always better. and, there's always an alternative shampoo that also works, over the last one that i bought which cost me 1,500 pesos for a bottle.

so this is how it is to be wise in spending money. i tell you, it's not an easy thing cutting down your expenses when you're used to not really minding about all this. it's also as difficult to choose which brand could give you your money's worth. i'm afraid grocery shopping would be less fun if it's going to be like this. no wonder i was always in debt before. (darn credit cards for spoiling me!)

my point is, i think i'm making a good leap here. yey! cheers to me! next step, investing. charing! hehe. ayy..save pa diay muna. what will i invest if i don't have any savings? duh!!

small baby steps at a time. treat ko nga self ko with one cutie blouse that i tried on earlier! nyehe :p

the weight on me

today, i am officially on my fattest.

and i am going to be beating that record soon if i don't do something about it.

no surprise that i feel heavier each day.


=(

not that i'm busy

i know this blog is starting to get rusty. it's not that i am so busy at work (well, i really am but it's bearable). it's not that my life here is as smooth sailing and that my general feeling right now could be summarized to that of a feather, floating lightly, heading to wherever the wind would like to take her. it's not that i'm getting too lazy to compose my thoughts and that there's no point cause there's really not much to write about. no, it's not that. but if i ask myself what it is.. i don't know. j'honnêtement ne sais pas. anywayz, i was having some snacks alone at breadtalk earlier. the branch across cityhall mrt station have this one round table at the corner just by the door, just slightly hidden by any passers-by and with a good view of the busy street corner. well, this isn't my first time to eat here this way, munching on my food at this single round table with no chair. so why do some bakeshops like this don't have a decent table or chair for their customers if they allow them to eat their snacks here, as they also offer a variety of drinks to pair with their pastries. and if they were to provide a table, why just one? delifrance, about two shops away, even could afford several tables for customers to dine in properly, and they sell basically about thesame stuff. but then, why would i choose this place over delifrance? i guess they placed that table there for people only wants a quick bite before heading off to whatever it is that's more deserving of their oh-too-precious time. it's not for people who think that those pastries, and their coffee should be enjoyed as how they're ant to be enjoyed. or, it's for people who are just embarrassed to be seen eating alone, that they can't just lounge on their danishes openly. if they want to enjoy their snack, they'd prefer to do it in a less open place, free from people's could-be meaningful glances. and i feel that table's perfect for me at this time. where i can just eat my snack, and not be able to think about anything. so, i guess that's it. lisod man i-konek, but somehow, somewhere in my thoughts above, i got a point. i do.

2 am

2 Am and she calls me cause I'm still awake
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake
I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season.
- Breathe, Anna Nalick

well.. nobody really called,but i am definitely awake at 2 am... and it's
only my mistakes that i want to unravel.

here goes again the night owl in me. despite the number of times
that i've asked myself, "whattheheck am i still awake for?", i still
can not sleep. i have to be NOT awake in this unholy hour.

i've already been blog-hopping, net-hopping,and whatever hopping you
can do in the internet... which by the way made me learn the ff:

* in a muslim post wedding party, men celebrate separately from
the women, as it is a sacred ceremony.

* to be able to really learn a language, you have to at least
learn 200 words a day (seriously? .. no wonder i cannot go
anywhere with my french)

* someone's actually been travelling 62 countries in 9 years.. and he been
blogging abt it. http://www.hobotraveler.com/. now, there's one person that
i seriously envy.

* kf must be really homesick for having posted a gradeschool class
picture, but i cannot spot him in it. why am i still talking abt him?

* men can also appreciate movies like 'the devil wears prada', however,
in a very different view from women. how was i not able to pick out one of the
movie's message was 'how to be not a slave to your own work'? ..must have
lost myself in all those shoes and skirts and bags. hehe

* i like bumping into this one person's blog. it's just that i could really connect with
his thoughts.

* i am not the only person who spams their blogs with senseless
stuffs like i do. well, nats explained why we have to write ..
" Writing something down behind the anonymity of blogs fills this need of expressing yourself and being heard. It deceives you into believing that someone somewhere actually cares."

i guess i dropped more thoughts than expected.

it's past 2 am, and no one's really going to call.

woe to them, just them

i thought that being single frees u from relationship woes. unfortunately, NOT. when your friends happen to entangle themselves into this complicated relationship web, or rather, triangle, you find yourself also dragged somewhere in the middle. then you realize, they are silently wishing/expecting that you might take sides. then those forces come so strong that you unintentionally get squeezed in the center, and wonder.. why were you in there again? the last time i checked, i'm still single. but really, right now.. i'm having relationship problems, my friends' relationship problems.

okay, i might be exaggerating a little, teeny bit cuz the complexity of their matter isn't really that much. or, i've just probably maintained myself in some safe distance from their problems before i get caught too involved. well, i do hope i'll keep this distance for long before my patience runs out. i'm afraid that if my patience slips, i'd be pounding some sense to the guy who's causing all these troubles, and tell that girl of his to keep her thoughts to herself before i do convince the guy to put her in more trouble.

by then, i'll be back to my carefree single self whose problems are simply limited on where to spot the next cute guy.

hmm.. i sound like a terrible friend. but being friend to all, sometimes also doesn't really work.

my kind of weekend

another weekend has passed by so quickly again. however this time, i've finally started to make the most out of my weekend by spending most of my time at home, and not on the malls, emptying my pocket, nor at the office pounding my keyboards, feigning to be productive.

saturdays are now spent cleaning most part of the house. i remember back when i was a kid, it's my least favorite day of the week. it always started with my mom nagging us to help out in the house chores, being the only day where we could give our little contribution in maintaining cleanliness at home. little did i know, that all those annoying wake up calls by my mum would bear good fruits. i've finally made a habit out of it. well, when there's nobody else who would be cleaning up for me, then i've got to do it on my own. this is something i've learned from the years of living independently. but the labor always pays off. a clean bedroom, bathroom is always a good sight. so the burden from all those scrubbing just eases away. :)

the day was concluded with a movie, the devil wears prada. the next one i've seen right after superman (geez, that was ages ago already). it was a good way to end my day since i totally enjoyed the movie. i should say, i've always admired meryl streep as an actress, ever since i've seen her in kramer vs. kramer (though the movie was too heavy for me back then). her classy portrayal of miranda is very impressive. i haven't read the book, but i think the director and everyone else in it, really made a good justice out of it, or probably exceeded it. anne hathaway wasn't bad at all, she made a great 'Andy', as she did with her character in the Princess Diaries, very admirable as well. and not to mention how great she looked on the couture she wore when she started to live up to the role of her job as the assistant. hmm, the perks for being able to be in that kind of job. the words "chanel, blahnik's, jimmy choo's" always makes me give out that big dreamy s-i-g-h, as i float to the fashion dreamland. yeah, okay.. time to wake up.

but movies like this has always have a downside effect on me. (i swear that sex and the city has a lot to do with my shopaholic tendencies). did i say that i concluded my day with a good movie? .. i guess i need to take that back. i concluded my day with a new pair of shoes, and a cup of gourmet coffee at the coffee connoisseur. see the bad effect the movie had on me? i don't need a new pair of shoes, and i totally don't need coffee when it's almost midnight! honestly, i blame the malls for being situated nearby these cinemas.

good thing, my sundays are always occupied. no time for me to splurge. there's church, and my salsa classes that i never miss out. and there's grocery shopping, and the best part, feasts i get to enjoy with my housemates, and our growing invited, er- adopted, friends. we're one big happy family now. len and gnis celebrated their advance birthday treat. we had sweet and sour tilapia, and hawaiian chicken pork adobo with quail eggs. then, earlier that day, we had bicol express for lunch. twas really a busy day for our kitchen. :) i should say, we're really learning a lot of cooking, and we're loving all the eating that goes with it :) ahh.. the 'sous chefs' in us. hehe.

so that was my weekend, something that always makes me grateful. that despite the busy week ahead of me, there's always another weekend to look forward to :)

clubbing the night away

i didn't expect earlier that i'd be on a gimik tonite. my only agenda for fri-nyt was the salsa school's anniv party @ fareast square. singapore's salsa scene is really getting so vibrant that when i got there, the whole place was really crowded. i wonder who's left at the club where we frequent to on fridays? everyone seemed to be present at the party. :)

it's really amazing to see great dancers strutting their styles on the dance floor. when can i possible come close to how they dance? probably after a repeat of all my intermediate classes. hehe. that's a long long way to go.

however, i'm afraid my salsa enthusiasm's dying down.. i can't find a good dance partner whom i can be easily comfortable with... and i'm not so comfortable yet with asking a guy to dance with me ..yes, my salsa buddies are quite fine and are really nice.. but i am still quite uncomfortable mingling with them .. quite shy that i am (yeah right!), i'd thought of ending the night early, and head home while i could still catch the last train.

as i was about to say my goodbyes, one of my friends approached me if i'd be interested joining them to the M.O.S. so it wasn't only me who felt kinda bored at the party. well, with no space much to dance, and no one to dance with, i spent most of my time standing at the corner. so, the M.O.S. invite kinda made my night :)

the ministry of sound. i've heard so much about this club. it's probably the biggest of its kind here, so my expectation was quite high. when we got there, i wasn't to be disappointed.

the club's setup is somehow similar to the club Avalon that i went to in new york, two years ago. you get to choose among house music, techno, rnb and retro. it's actually quite more spacious than the Avalon club (which i heard has closed down already?) .. and far more affordable. just pay 20sgd, and you can dance all through the rooms in the club with two complimentary drinks.

well, for those who might be thinking there'd be a repeat of my Avalon experience in nyc.. they'd really be disappointed. hehe. i got myself away from any alcoholic drinks, except for a glass of green tea whiskey. yes, green tea whiskey. the drink was recommended to me, and i think it's only available in singapore. but the drink was really good. :)

finally, i've conquered singapore's club scene! :D

juz about anything

so i haven't been keeping in touch lately. well, lemme see..i was on vacation for about two weeks, and just got back last friday. though, i'd say the days i spent in PI won't really pass up as a long break at all (well, just break from work, maybe), but there wasn't a day that i spent relaxing, or lazying around the beach, enjoying the sea breeze..nor did i spend any nights watching sunsets. each day was always scheduled with something to do, even up to the last minute. most are spent catching up with friends i haven't seen for months, and of course, spending "quality" time with my family. despite spending each "free" day i had in a frenzy, i say it was all worth it :D so that's what really matters, right?

**

i hate lazy mornings. well, today, i slept for about more than the usual eight hours. i had to take the taxi to work (darn, lost my weekly budget again)..since monday, i was just too exhausted on almost anything. though i wasn't busy at all at work, and i managed to go home earlier than usual (to my housemates surprise), i still felt tired like i had such a busy day.

then i realized i haven't had any caffeine intake for the past two days. well, i took my regular coffee today cuz i can't just lag from work anymore. the luxury's fleeting as the week ends.. there'd be too much to catch up and i don't feel like spending an extra day at work this weekend.

**

it's almost one a.m., but i'm still a bit high from all the dancing at the club tonite. i can't believe none of the other girls showed up, like i do mind sharing the guys that i could dance with. hehe. it also gets tiring, you know. but i do wish more girls show up the next time the gang goes to the club on wednesdays. at least i'd have more time to observe the other couples on the dance floor and practice on the styling.. or spinning. oh, how i suck at spinning.

**

so this is one of the nonsense posts (i'm having several of these lately) in this almost nonsense blog.. but it seems that there's really nothing much going on around. as nats once complained why nothing interesting is happening to me here. well, aside from my salsa class, there's nothing else that keeps me busy outside work. even if the club offers free booze on fridays, i can't manage to drink more than a glass, or i'd make a mess out of myself... and there'd be no one to rescue me.. though there's this particular someone i won't mind being rescued. hehe. nah.. forget about that. it's all lame.

well, once i get myself a better budget for the month, i'll really take some tennis lessons.

**

i wish i could have time to do a makeover at this blog. i think it badly needs one, as much as my life badly needs one.

sometimes we complain about things we wish for and couldn't get it, or nothing comes close to it. well, the Lord does have its own ways to say no for our wishes. however, sometimes, we too have to be careful about what we ask for, cuz we just might actually get it. hehe. that's a lesson learned for me today.

**

another thing. i came across a quote that goes, "money can't buy happiness, but so does poverty".

**
okay.. it's past 1 a.m...got to sleep now, no more extra dime for taxi tomorrow. darn coffee for keeping me awake !!

fri nyt thots

it's officially my first day for my two-week-long "break" from work. finally, i get to have the vacation that i rightfully deserve. well, right after juggling my time, and my mind from one project to another without even a breather in between, i say, i really do deserve this.

i was supposed to leave early from office today. however, the chili chili crab i had last night didn't have a very good effect on me. i had a hard time sleeping, and i woke up so early. what was with the crab i had that night? hmm.must be some stimulant or something. or i just can't sleep on a heavy stomach?

despite the stress from work and lack of sleep, i didnt head off to the apartment right after. i just can't make myself be home early on a friday night. what's with that, anyway? i just feel so allergic to it.

i then decided to join some friends to the salsa club that i've been frequenting on friday nights. good thing the gang was there. and the guy, i'm-supposed-to-be-interested-on-but-don't-really-care-about, was also there. i was looking forward to dancing with him, but never got the chance. i've danced with three friends all night, that my right wrist is aching with the turns we are trying to get the hang on. my friends are really getting better at salsa though. that's why it's getting more fun. well, they are my classmates on the make-up class i had on friday nights. they are now my regular salsa buddies.

people here don't really stay out so late, compared to what we're used to in the philippines. i guess it's because taxi fares are just so high, and night buses are really rare. so, if you don't have a car, you better be home just before the last bus, or the last mrt.

hmm...i just realized that this whole blog has really no point. hehe.

"it's only to deny this loneliness that's tearing me apart"

chili chili crab

i just luvvv seafoods here in singapore.. chili crab, black pepper crab and cereal prawns... awww..heavenly! these dishes are a hit among locals and foreigners. that seafood restaurants are packed even on weeknights. you could even get crabs imported from sri lanka.. which you could really describe as C-R-A-B. hehe.

but i couldn't afford to buy myself this kind of dinner yet, as prices just get over the roof. maybe when i pay for my own, i'd see '$$$$' and not really enjoy the meal. but i say, it's really worth it.. i just don't have the luxury yet for such meals. good thing though, i still get to eat 'em occasionally.. pag may manglilibre! and tonite's one of those lucky nights!

now.. i'm really so stuffed that i can't sleep. i've already tossed all my worries on loosing weight. they're not worth it when chili crab is served on your plate :p

*burp*.... oh crab!

not always a bed of roses

i am just amazed with optimism from people who have basically lived a life on a bed of roses. they always have the tendency to see the glass half full. when it's a talk on relationships, they see falling in love, and living happily ever after. when it's a talk about work, they see themselves as falling into the places of the "successful" people in their own fields, like it's the only way to go.

but on the bad side, these eternal optimists just look at their life so narrowly that they have the tendency to forget that it isn't always like that. life isn't always like that for everybody. it isn't always a bed of roses. people fall in love, and get betrayed. people work hard to succeed, and still get stabbed at the back by their own bosses. people invest, and yet still loses everything.

a rambling mind

i hate it when i there's nothing much to be preoccuppied about. my idle thoughts just go everywhere. i get to think about things that i shouldn't be thinking about, things that i shouldn't worry about. i just get to think, and think, and think... when i should do better things, like sleep. uggh! worse, what's to over analyze when there's not even a single thing to analyze? i am not complaining about my life. things are just getting smoothly. work's tough as ever, just enough to make me whine about it. people at the office are just predictably bearable. and i don't want to change that for anything .. no bossy, pigheaded, arrogant colleagues. imagine a whole day of peace and quiet in your own cube :)

but who am i kidding? peace and quiet also means ... wandering thoughts... or dozing off. but i can't sleep in my cube, my as-if-i-am-busy p.m. does his periodic office tour. i wouldn't want him to wake me up in the middle of a good dream. it was enough that he had caught me spending too much time with skype when i was just new at work. i'm not good at giving good first impressions. good thing, there's coffee to keep me company and i've managed to skype occasionally now. so, i've managed to schedule my time between work, coffee, daydreaming and skyping. so, what's to complain again?

this is just my idle mind rambling.

the ex's mom

when my ex-fiancee backed out on our wedding years back, i dealt with the concequences on my own. i never even bothered knowing how his family reacted over having the wedding cancelled. i just assumed that they're much like him. or even they had given their support and backed him up about his decision.

then just recently, news flew all over from south china sea to here, that his mom still talks about that part of his life. not only that, she couldn't bear the embarassment his son has brought to the family. it must have been difficult for her. i think she might have felt disgraced about her son's actions. or probably, she's still in disbelief how she knows someone who could do that, much more, her own son. makes me wonder, had i talked to his mom then, or attempted to communicate with her before, had coping been different? but i can't tell if it had made things easier, or more difficult though.

it's funny when you learn that your ex's mom, is as aware as you are, on you how much of an asshole her son had been. although that statement could have given a different note if you'd known about it before you just stopped caring.

oh well, just an amusing trip to memory lane.

wishing to be good

good things happen to good people. when you are dedicated to your work, and not think about rewards, salary, promotions or even pleasing the boss, you get the reward you deserve without even thinking about it. and usually, when good things come, they pour!

however, i could barely say i am one of those good people. i have always been a delinquent. even way back in highschool, i cram and cram ... and get lucky. i always lack that dedication to achieve something. it was always easy come and easy go philosophy for me. when i started working, i probably just improved in my outlook a baby-step further. nothing more.

even now, i took the day off because i felt sick. the truth is, i am just plainly sick at my job and i feel smothered in the emptiness in my cube .. or should i say, in my mind?

i don't know why i am even like this. i've been thinking about changing careers, but i could not deny that i can not give up easily the perks of this job. i am staying to keep the lifestyle i want. it's nothing luxurious as you might think coz i am still broke, but it's comfortable enough. i know this way of thinking is purely selfish and vain and sick. but that aside, the job is also making me sick. but it would be hypocritical of me if i won't admit that it has it's highs too. but not much compared to the downers it's giving me.

well, i just complain when i know i'm incapable of achieving something. it hides my incompetence. but you know what, you know you're a failure when you start blaming others (someone famous said that, i just can't remember who exactly). that's why i complain because i find that easier than to accept that i've failed.

i'm just getting what i deserve, and i whine twice as much when shit happens.

how i wish i could get to sing the song from the 'sound of music', "somewhere in my childhood, i must have done something good".

but i know i can't.

i need a mind-shift..i'm becoming all too negative.

glad that superman returned

my friends and i watched 'Superman Returns' last night. that was my first movie since january. yes, the first! i missed X-men, and what else? oh well, i got to think that the money i should spend on the movies, i'd rather spend them on .. shoes. hehe.

but i'm not talking about my shoe-shopping craze, rather 'Superman'. am i glad i didn't miss this one on the big screen? gosh, was Brandon Routh just...'H-O-T'! i don't mind seeing him soo upclose (fourth row from the cinema screen). i don't mind at all. hehe.

i confess, i had a hard time concentrating on the movie. aside from having to protect my eardrums from breaking with all the sound effects, my mind's battling all throughout the almost 3-hour run of the movie.

'how could he be soo supermanly perfect? ...
but hey, isn't his face animated or real? ..
then clark's face shows up...
'Oh, he's real diay.. he's just really so handsome'..
then superman shows up, his face covering the wide screen,
'no way could that face be real!
he's so digitally enhanced! (thanks ri, for the word)!
...and my oh my, that body!' ....
'and what? he was in manila? did i hear that right?'

...my mind just went on like that until i realized the movie ended already. did brandon routh even had real lines in that movie? i can't even remember! .. well, except probably for "i'm always just around".

hmm.. they shouldn't make superheroes in superhero movies so flawless. but then, it always make up for movies like this. but don't get me wrong, i loved the movie.. i enjoyed every minute of him... oops, of 'it' pala!. only if they'd shown more of him..hahaha.

i should not forget to mention too that the similarities between him and christopher reeves was just amazing. i was seeing him most of the time. he indeed is all worth it to be the next superman.

seriously, i wasn't disappointed. it's the best superhero flick i've seen so far.

on a different note, i was just glad that i watched the superman movie over the worldcup game last night. i couldn't bear my heart breaking over england and brazil's loss. oh well, it still is! then beckham had to leave as captain! i just hope to see germany or france in the finals.

let the sunshine in

it's past 2 am, and i am just dead tired after having a night out with my closest friends. we were dancing like frenzy in a club, stripping off any fear that anyone might recognise us (twas just the two of us on the dance floor). even if it were some tough chance, we couldn't care less. i had a rough week, i needed those few minutes or hours to let all inhibitions loose.

i can't believe that i've finally confronted one of my fears. i've actually acknowledged the presence of death, when all of my life i've dreaded the subject, like it was some taboo. but this time, i had the courage to even think about it, converse about its presence with my innerself, letting any suicidal tendency out. sometimes i feel it's the influence of the current book i'm reading (The devil and miss prym, by paolo coelho). when you know there's nothing that you could loose in this life, the stronger you become when facing your fears.

tough of me, huh? must be the depression that went through. i think it's brought by me gnawing all my insecurities. life's been rough, most specially when you can't find a reason to last you through a day. it's difficult enough when nightfall comes, and you lay in bed thinking about another dreadful day. how can you last through a day, when you barely could survive the night?

yes, i've had these moments. there are times where i forget my own reason for living. but i am just lucky enough to realize how much of a fool i am for thinking that way. God just whispers at the right moment, where i still see the goodness around me, despite my own selfish thoughts. then, i pause and think of my own naivete. i've simply allowed myself to be eaten by my own unwillingness to see the brighter side of life.

an american writer once said, "The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment, it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone". i needed someone else to tell me to stop on depending at what other people or things can provide to give me that sense of purpose, of fulfillment. i was simply looking at the wrong places. i guess i have to start looking at myself, and how i've viewed myself and how my life should find meaning in this chaotic, yet wonderful world. i should start looking at how much of myself i can give to others.

i attended an early mass despite the heavy rain. i needed that early conversation with God. i needed an assurance from him that my life's going to be alright. i know, i'm just being stubborn. but the Holy mass just gives me a different kind of peace. now, i feel stronger. i have this sense of purpose,which i think has not yet been unfolded. but in the right time, i'll find out.

so for the meantime, i'm just letting the sunshine in.

vivre d’amour

a nice reflection from yesterday's gospel(Mt 5,38-42) from www.dailygospel.org. these are from the Poems: “Vivre d’amour” [Living of Love] and “Pourquoi je t’aime, ô Marie” [Why I love you, o Mary]

To live of Love is to give without measure,
without demanding a salary here below.
Ah! I give without counting, very sure
that when you love, you don’t write a bill!
To the Divine Heart, overflowing with tenderness,
I have given all … lightly I run.
I no longer have anything except my only wealth:
To live of Love.

To live of Love is to banish all fear,
every memory of past faults.
I see no trace of my sins,
in an instant, love burned it all!
Divine flame, o very sweet blaze,
in your hearth I settle down to stay.
In your fire I am at ease to sing (cf. Dan 3:51):
“I live of Love!”…

“To live of Love, what strange madness,”
The world tells me. “Ah! Stop singing,
don’t lose your perfume, your life.
Know how to use them usefully!”
To love you, Jesus, what a fruitful loss!
All my perfume is yours without return.
I want to sing while leaving this world:
“I am dying of Love!”

* * * * *

To love is to give all and to give oneself.

all about toenails

i just had my nails cleaned tonight. not nail-cutter clean, but nail-salon clean. hehe. well, seeing my toenails that clean, i feel that my feet is tons lighter (took me an hour to clean all ten of them). now, i can't stop adoring them (currently wiggling my toes). :D

okay, so i've made a fetish of cleaning my nails. i've been doing this when i was in college (coz my allowance didn't include salon visits!). usually, it would take me an hour or two to attain the grooming that i want for my nails. believe me, it's difficult when you do your own toes. it takes some acrobatic skills just to be able to get those cuticles properly removed. just imagine how delighted i was when i finally get to afford salon visits! i always treat myself at least twice a month for a good manicure, pedicure and sometimes foot spa (nakaka-miss naman!).

but that was then. now that i am here in sg, i couldn't afford going to nail salons anymore. :( it's so expensive leh! averaging a thousand pesos for well-manicured nails, and another thousand for a pedicure. no way would i spend money for that. i'd just buy myself a new pair of shoes. i'm practical too, y'know.

so, ever since i came here, i only had nail-cutter clean toenails. it's frustrating sometimes seeing your nails pale, with the skin around it easily getting dry and dead skin growing around them. you might think that nail-polish would be a quick solution to that. but that would be cheating your feet and i'm not a nail-polish kind of person.. well, polished nails are good when you're attending some events that require you to dress up and you need to wear really, sexy strappy sandals. but it's not good to wear them daily. it keeps your nails discolored and unhealthy looking. but most of all, i'm
really bad at nail polishes. i can't get it's worth coz i couldn't keep them for 24 hrs without getting smudged!

anyways, i finally bought me a manicure/pedicure set (pusher, nail brush and cuticle remover) last weekend. and tonite, i finally got a quality time with my feet just like when i was in college. well-groomed toenails always lifts my mood! (hmm, reminds me, i was tagged by claire to write about my joys and delights... this definitely is one of them).

blogging about nails might make me seem that i am a shallow person, but i can't help it. my slight obsession for pedicures has its history - i love shoes! i can't go on about that here, this blog is supposed to be about my toenails. so i am dedicating a separate entry for my love for shoes. :D

ole! ole! ole!

okay, so i was never a fan of the world cup, nor i know anything about soccer except for what the soccer ball and those soccer shoes look like. well, of course i know beckham cause he's just so hot! But that's all changed now. this year's world cup's hype has finally got me. i'm starting to see this as one of the most interesting games.

my friends and i watched the opening yesterday over a few cans of carlsberg beer (mura ug true). yes, we stayed up late and finished the opening match between germany and costa rica. surprisingly, we enjoyed the whole game. we were screaming on every near goals and kicks. i didn't know this game could be this entertaining. no wonder so many are hooked by it. well, we were even crazy enough to think that we could try to play it. insane? totally! :D

just to prove that we're really hooked now, we watched the documentary about the complete story of the world cup, like where the first world cup was played, and how Pele became the legend that he is now. so, i'm really serious about this already.

fifa 2006 fever is just heating up and it's nice to be able to be a part of this. even just as a fan. i have no team favorite yet, and i've just started to know who's really the stars on this game. but still, i'm as excited as who's going to win this year's cup :) (how i wish mediacorp 5 would be airing more games!)

insanity loves company

nats suggested that we do at least one crazy thing to commemorate yesterday's date. soon enough, she and ri had already chipped in details of what they did, effortlessly i suppose. that left me worried, and pressured on what crazy thing to do to make the day memorable enough. well, for a miss prim and proper like me, that would be such a task! YEAH, RIGHT! hehe.

so the rest of the afternoon, i contemplated about it, not because i don't want to be left out from my friends, but i might be needing it. not that i haven't had done enough crazy things in my life already, but rather, it's a you-need-it-for-the-moment kind of thing. so i put my work aside, and try to think of some decent crazy things to do before the day ends and here's what i've come up with:

1. go to bugis junction and get the ride on the DHL hot air balloon.. alone. then decide later if i'd want to jump from mid-air.
2. dress up and go to a bar at clark quay, get drunk on a weekday.
3. splurge on a very expensive bag and shoes to match .. i've been eyeing on this pink guess bag, and that nine west sandals at raffles shopping centre .
4. go to planet fitness at suntec city and sign up for that very expensive fitness membership program. just like flushing some bucks into the toilet bowl, which i do not have the luxury to do.
5. book a return trip ticket to hongkong today without second thoughts

of course the day passed without any of the things above was ever done. rather, i just splurged on kose beauty products. well, if it wasn't well recommended by ria, i wouldn't be thinking of buying it. who knows, ma invite din ako ng dinner sa hyatt? (walay connection..hehehe)

well, i almost did number 5 though. i was really on the verge of booking a return ticket to hongkong. but 'twas already past 12 am when i've thought about it. so the pressure's off already. si ria man gud, kelangan daw mag apply jud ko sa peel off mask muna. the good excuse to do a crazy thing day's over. but that doesn't mean that i won't be booking a return ticket to hongkong.

on weddings, babies and me aside

everybody is hooking up, getting pregnant, having a baby, or getting married. that's the news i've been getting so far when i try to keep in touch with friends and fiends :p bitterness aside, i am really happy for them and do honestly wish my "may you live happily ever after". actually, this is better than hearing more of the breakup news from friends which was pouring about two years ago. so keep the good news coming :)

putting back on the bitter sleeve, i just feel so lost in the middle of these lovey-dovey couple friends, weddings, and baby showers. maybe the desire to be coupled sinked in deep cause i was actually dreaming of having a boyfriend last night. well, the thought just left me staring blankly at the wall when i was about to take my shower this morning. is getting a boyfriend so unbelievable now?

if i do want to get married by the time i reach 30, that is in four years time, shouldn't now be a good time to look for a potential boyfriend? but am i really serious about getting married at 30? hehe. and seriously, does potential boyfriends really need to be searched? *think deep*.. oh well, it's hopeless. i don't think i could hear the wedding bells ringing anymore. the sound's so faint from where i am right now.. if they do exist still. cause now, i think they are just figments of my hopeless imagination.

but me aside, i think it's going be a good year for the luv lyf of my friends. wla lang, i just feel it is. maybe because of all these good news i've been hearing from them. so those who are worrying about their relationships (and if we're good friends), then worry not :)

to dreamland and back

i can't believe my week long vacation is over. time flies so fast, but it's just faster in this part of the world. i haven't had a whole day spent at home in the past nine days. it seems that there's always a reason to leave the house (yeah, the mall's waiting for me..hehe).. but other than that, i was in phuket for a four-day island getaway. (yes, it's phuket..and i'm not dreaming!!)

i can't believe my boss allowed me to be on leave for four days, despite the critical stage of my project (well, i was confident my module would be behaving well, while i am away..hehe). so, my friends and i arrived in phuket last tuesday, and had a half day city tour before we checked in at our hotel. we didn't have a five-star hotel waiting, but that really doesn't matter cause you won't be spending much of your time in it anyway. there's a whole island to explore and four days surely ain't enough.

after the half day city tour, we rested a bit at our hotel room since we had a very early flight that morning. we stayed at patong beach, the heart of phuket's night life (and we can't be drowsy when that starts). just a few hours before sunset, we strolled along patong beach. we weren't disappointed by it's beach line, and the area was just so lively with all the people around. i can't help thinking that if only panglao island would be developed like this.. wouldn't that just be lovely?

so we stayed there until sunset. well, nothing beats sunsets by the beach, so why miss that? later that night, we checked out the famous patong night life, and it definitely lived up to our expectations, or probably even exceeded them. the "tiangge" is just all over the place, and there were as much bars too, and of course, restaurants parading their best seafood catch. of course we didn't dine at their luxurious restaurants, but even their budget restos couldn't be let down. thai food everywhere is just delicious. not to mention their signature iced milk tea. so every thai meal, was a feast :)

the following day, we headed off for our beach adventure to the phi phi islands. we went to maya beach which got famous by leonordo DiCaprio's movie "the beach". then we headed for some snorkeling around the island's lagoon. after which, we headed to the neighboring islands for more sightseeing, monkey feeding, swimming, lunch, and more swimming. i just enjoyed every minute i was out basking in the sun. too bad, we only got a day.

our last whole day spent in phuket, we epxlored on other parts of the island. we got a good view of phuket's beach lines at viewpoint (one of phuket's viewing spots), then we went elephant trekking, pasalubong shopping, and stopped by a temple just to get a feel of what a buddhist temple is like up close.

pictures speak a thousand words, so check out my multiply site for my photos :) (well, the real reason, i'm just too tired to post another set of pictures for this blog..hehe)

we got back to singapore early friday morning, still thinking of going back to thailand. probably to enjoy the place fully, you have to stay there for at least a month. :) when i arrived here, i was surprisingly busy. there was so much cleaning to do in my apartment, aside from the loads of laundry that awaited. i never really got the luxury of a good rest despite the long vacation. no wonder i am still so exhausted up till now. good thing there's another long weekend coming up. thank God for holidays :)

but as for now, it's back to reality. vacation mode is so over. got to fix my mind set for work.

entrapment

my friends had a day trip to kuala lumpur, malaysia last sunday. well, after having stayed here in sg for about five months, i've finally made my KL-trip :) for about 24 hrs to stay, one couldn't really just go about every interesting place in the city. but having toured the city's finest, it was more than enough that we could ask for (not to mention the free ride we got around the city when our taxi driver kinda lost his way and brought us to the wrong bus station before we left).

we went to KLCC or the petronas tower (who would go to KL and miss this one?), and just within the area is also the KL tower (which is also one of the world's tallest tower). then we dropped by at their chocolate factory (not willy wonka's, but they got great choclits too..our fave was the choclit coated coffee bean...yummy). we also went to southeast asia's biggest shopping mall, the time square (well, it got the world's largest themepark in it). lastly, we headed off to putrajaya (never seen so many architectural wonders in one place, and they're all gov't buildings).

but one of the highlights of our trip, that for sure not all tourist could experience was the fashion show that we got to see in the mall just beside the petronas (Suria @ KLCC).. well, with the hot, sexy, steamy models in it.. it was a feast for our drooling eyes already ..hehehe

okay, so here's what i'm talking abt..

the petronas tower

the guide, the tower, the skybridge



prime minister's office at putrajaya



the mosque's dome and other offices



okay, and now the highlight.. ready to drool :)

but of course, how could i forget a 'dream come true' moment... a kiss from one of the gorgeous models.. hehehehe (dream on!!) ... naah.. it's my 'breakfast at tiffany's' moment. well, when i went to new york, i swore to take a pic of me outside the tiffany & co shop ... well, if ur a fan of audrey hepburn's 'breakfast at tiffany's'..dahling, you could truly relate to me :) hehehehe ... hmm..so okay, i wasn't able to do that in nyc.. cuz we just passed by it while riding the yellow cab. good thing, there's a tiffany & co at the Suria!! so, who'd stop me from taking this pose? well..not even the police!! hehehe

hawker thoughts

i like the part where the nocturnal side in me kicks in. no matter how exhausted i am at work, i still manage to stay awake for as long as i want. the more things get done. that would mean, spare time to blog. :)

i didn't have a good start today. several "misfortunes" happened the moment i stepped out from the apartment's gate. it got worse when i arrived at the office. it was like the movie "pure luck" but to a lesser extent of course. when i started talking about them to my friends, i realized they are really nothing but trifles. i've only thought about that when you hear people going through a greater deal of trouble. sometimes i do get the tendency to be too preoccuppied in my own little, shallow world.
i always tell myself not to complain too much cause i do get to be too whiny at times that i get annoyed with myself. however, i still remember too late about that right after i've said my litany of complaints to my friends. i guess i've got more patient friends than i've thought. hehe. i'm just thankful for that.

despite the morning "misfortunes", the rest of the day turned out well. i've been somehow "productive" at work, and i am proud of myself when that happens (cause that rarely happens).though i must have been still caught busy with either my skype or g-chat by our project manager. hehehe. but that doesn't matter, as long as i've shown some output. we do deserve to have that kind of break, so he probably understands. :)

speaking of these instant messengers, i always get amused at how people play with their status. well, i also do that most specially on my g-chat. you can't really freely expose how you feel on the IM you are using at work. it would cause more harm than good ;)

here's just a few of the funny skype status people use at work:

"FS: Toshiba DVD player, barely used" (talking about advertising for free)

"25 more days..." (people luv to do countdowns..for reasons we'd have to guess)

"Big brother is watching you..." (a status fit only for the boss..i didn't know he's a fan)

"going wondering" (does he mean..wandering? well, it still could work)

"what did i ever do to deserve this?" (hmm.. no wonder this person took a year-long leave without pay)

when there's nothing interesting to do

okay, i am blogging again in the middle of my work hours, but i'm just really bored, and sleepy and i needed a good distraction. good thing claire's blog gave me a good idea to keep me from dozing
off here, or staring blankly at the monitor. so, i'm doing this survey :)

Four jobs you have had in your life:
- software engineer
- software engineer
- software engineer
- software engineer

(i think i really need to do something to spice up my career and think
of odd jobs so that by next time i answer some survey like these, it wouldn't
look as predictable and boring as it is now)

Four movies you would watch over and over:
- legends of the fall
- my best friend's wedding
- before sunrise and after sunset
- ?? (a lot of my fave movies would fight for this position, so i'll just keep this blank)

Four places you have lived:
- bohol
- cebu
- singapore
- *to be defined* (depend's on the direction of the wind)

Four of your favorite expressions:
- hala, bitaw no?
- OMG
- ngak
- seriously? :p

Four places you have been on vacation:
- philippines (pagudpod, vigan, baguio, manila, dumaguete, iligan, butuan)
- japan (osaka, nara, kyoto, kobe, kyushu)
- us (atlanta, orlando, west virginia, new york, new hampshire, boston, seattle)
- singapore

Four websites you visit daily/regularly:
- gmail
- google
- yahoo mail
- blogs of friends, and friend's friends, and
strangers, etc, etc, etc

Four of your favorite foods:
- roasted peanuts (i miss chedeng's!!!)
- prata
- pasta
- fruits (para healthy..hehehe)

Four places you would rather be right now:
- at one of the malls here, window shopping
- in a coffee shop with a good view, then nagmuni-muni
- on vacation, in europe or somewhere else i've never been to
- at home, watching season two of grey's anatomy (i can't wait for it to
be weekend!!)

Bonus Q:
Are you supposed to be doing something else instead of answering this
poll?
- i'm supposed to be doing work, and i got really really really bored
looking at the documents, good thing i bumped into this survey at claire's
blog.. which is a real lifesaver as of this moment.. :p so, thanks to claire..
daghan nata walay lingaw (chuckle).

nobody knows how i feel

it's just so difficult to get by a day at work when your own boss doesn't understand what you do, or what you have done. i always feel that i gave an impression that i am not a very productive person (probably cause i've been seen most often with my skype and gmail always up). sometimes when you make the wrong impression, some people just find it hard to erase that. i am guilty of that sometimes, but we should always give this space for people to show the real them. i guess my boss doesn't do that.

no matter what i do, i get treated as this very unproductive employee and it is just utterly frustrating that i wish i could just kick some butt to prove my point that i am not unproductive at all. okay, so i am getting violent. it was bearable when my own team lead has not resigned, at least i am confident that someone is keeping up with my progress despite what the boss thinks. but now she's left me, like a duckling swamped in the rain with nowhere to go, i am back to the unproductive, skype-addict employee that the boss has branded me. what's worse, there are also other bossy colleagues who thinks the same way and treats me the same way, but i've got bigger problems than to deal with them. if they think i do not exist here, then i feel the same way for them.

however, if i keep these kind of thoughts eat me, i'd really become the unproductive employee that the boss thinks of me and i do not want to give him that pleasure. well, this is my job, these are my frustrations. even if nobody understands how i really feel about these things, there's nothing i could do. i am a slave to my job. it sucks to realize that. but again, i am here, so i might as well get things done while i am at it.

i'm just letting the fumes out. so back to work.

effects of ripples

sometimes you just wish that you won't have to meet some people you've met cause they just stir up the balance and calmness you're trying hard to put in your life. but then for what? for you to adjust and wait till the ripples they cause to die down? there's agony in watching each wave pass you by ..oh, how i hate that!

I-OnlineUpdatable?

let me talk about work. just for now.

One of my current tasks is to modify my gui module and make it Online Updatable. That simply means that i would have to add some changes to the gui so that it gets updated correctly when one of its configurations have been changed. One of the modifications that i have to add in for this is have one of the classes inherit from IOnlineUpdatable, do the required initialisations and voila! my gui now listens for any updates.

Okay, before i get too geeky... just imagine me in the middle of my hectic work with all eyes on my ever colorful visual dev studio. my mind then wanders (which is too often these days) into something that could be "blog"-worthy. but i couldn't just take a break and note that down or else i'll loose the fading (with all the mind-wandering) momemtum i need to do my tasks. so the time just then passes by, and all those thoughts flushed to oblivion. while i was doing that "ionlineupdate" stuff, i couldn't help but think and wish that this blog too becomes online updatable. :) now i wouldn't have to worry how to squeeze in my "blog" worthy thoughts into this blog. how nice could that be? i could do my blogging anytime, anywhere. :p

now i'm just getting crazy for thinking about that. well, it's just that lately i could barely get my "blog" mood back since i'm so stomped with work. By the time i get home, i'd just be too exhausted. except for today. i'm done with my onlineupdate task, so i got the chance to get out of work early (and that is at 7 pm!). i think i've had enough rest (or am i now not used to sleeping early?) since i am still so wide awake and it's past 12 am.

well, enough of blogging for now. i do really need to get my zzz's. tomorrow's another day

:)

shows, shows and shows

i just watched the magical disney show on ice at the singapore indoor stadium last night. makes me want to be an ice-skater and perform with all the handsome princes.. :D twas one great show..i really enjoyed the whole two hours that disney has prepared for the audience.. just had fun remembering all the good movies i've loved so much from disney.. down from snow white, cinderella, pinocchio, beauty and the beast.. to the latest, the incredibles. hmm.. i'm just at loss for words :p

the other night, i was at the river maya concert held at the nokia powerhouse, just outside esplanade theatre. as expected, daming pinoy :D though i wasn't familiar with their songs now...but it was fun.. it's unarguable that the band's performance was great. twas awsome too to see local's carrying fan posters and jamming with the rest of the pinoys.

tonite, i am supposed to go to esplanade theatre to see a reggae concert. however, i've got no one to go with me. so i'll just be lounging my butt here in the apartment, which is a total bummer. it's bad enough that i missed most of the shows of the mosaic music festival. i'm still thinking how i just let a jason mraz concert pass!! (no moolah..and no date are reasons enough, i guess.??) ..how i wish there'd be someone that i could just easily grab whenever i'd feel like going to concerts like these. hmm..makes me wonder, asa naman to ako mga mean-time boys? :D