stay

"Stay."

I just asked somebody what he wants from me at this moment, all he said was this four-letter word, which short as it is.. sounds so heavy.

my training here in atlanta is about to end.. and i am going back to cebu in a few days. i keep saying to others that i can't wait to go back since i miss my family and friends. well, that's true. but a part of me also wants to stay.i know my stay here is just short, but i have learned to love this place. though i know my reason for me stay is more than just the place.

it just feels so sad to have to let go of something that you have become comfortable with and has started to love. but there is nothing i could do about it but just wish that i could come back here. this country will always hold something memorable for me. it freed my mind and gave me closure from the life that i left in cebu.. it freed my heart, and taught me how to love without fear.
i am just afraid that when i get back to cebu, things would go on as they had been. that my world will continue to rotate in an empty spin. that the lessons in life that i've learned out here be forgotten.

but i could also look at it in another way.. when i get home to cebu, i make it my everyday goal to come back here and be able to stay longer.

right now, i just want to follow where my heart is. and my heart wants to stay.

pieces of me

this is just a song that has been playing in my head for the whole week now:

Pieces if me by Ashlee Simpson

On a Monday, I am waiting
Tuesday, I am fading
And by Wednesday, I can't sleep
Then the phone rings, I hear you
And the darkness is a clear view
Cuz you've come to rescue me

Fall... With you, I fall so fast
I can hardly catch my breath, I hope it lasts
[Chorus:]
Ohhhhh
It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhhh
It's as if you know me better than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

I am moody, messy
I get restless, and it's senseless
How you never seem to care
When I'm angry, you listen
Make me happy it's a mission
And you won't stop til I'm there

Fall... Sometimes I fall so fast
Well, I hit that bottom
Crash, you're all I have

[Chorus:]
Ohhhhh
It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhhh
It's as if you known me better than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell

All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

How do you know everything I'm about to say?
Am I that obvious?
And if it's written on my face...
I hope it never goes away... yeah

On a Monday, I am waiting
And by Tuesday, I am fading into your arms...
So I can breathe

[Chorus:]
Ohhhhh
It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real
I like the way that feels
Ohhhhh
It's as if you've know me better than I ever knew myself
I love how you can tell
Ohhhhh
I love how you can tell
Ohhhhh
I love how you can tell
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me..

new york and new england

i know i just had to write about my new york experience. since it would be a place that i would never ever forget.

i got the chance to visit the big apple on the labor day weekend (sept 4 - 6). i met up with classmates of mine who i havent seen for like centuries...kidding.. just decades.. still long! :) reve and jen were really kind enough to show me around manhattan and brooklyn :) we went to almost all streets in manhattan and dropped by at time square. and the most fun part was take a picture with the naked cowboy :) was he sexy or what! :p

then that saturday night, i met up with my officemate, christian and his highschool buddy, robert. with some other friends, we all partied in avalon, a club in new york. my, it was definitely raining men in there! hehehe of course i didnt get out of the club not drunk hehehe. kidding. well, my experience in that club was just so unforgettable and i'll just have to keep the details to myself and all those who bear witness to everything that happened hehehe. just one thing i learned from that night though, cute guys and tequila is a dangerous mix :)

the next day, it was just christian, robert and I who toured around the city. we had snails for lunch at a chinese restaurant in china town :) Then we went to battery park to get a closer glimpse of the statue of liberty. After that, we passed by ground zero. Then we went up the empire state building to take a view of the whole new york city. it was just amazing :) never seen a city so beautiful :)

that night, we drove to robert's place at nashua, new hampshire. it was one long drive but well worth it since i got to see a new place :) nashua is a very laid back place.. but still is beautiful. we went to a store called tjmaxx and i just went crazy with the shoes and the bags and the skirts but of course i didnt get to buy much.. i didnt have enough cash for it :( well.. at least i got me a pair of boots that i love :)

christian and i left for atlanta that monday afternoon. we know we didnt want the weekend to end just there and wished we had more time to spend at new hampshire. i think a part of me was left in that place.. and i dont want to get it back just yet..

all in all, my weekend was a blast! i got to meet new friends and got really really close with one ;)

lost into the movies..

I just had the most amazing weekend. i went to orlando, florida and had to take a peek at what universal studios had to offer. at first i didnt want to come since i just didnt have that enough budget, knowing that i have to save up for my new york trip the following weekend. tight as my budget could be, i just had to be there.

With me were my officemates from cebu (who are also my apartment mates) rica, mylene and naomi. Together with us are our now favorite ncr atlanta officemates (dan and steve) and with dan's girlfriend, debbie and steve's fiance, demetra. We rented this huge bus.. ugly on the outside but very comfortable on the inside. just the eight of us starting our 9 hr drive from atlanta to orlando. Mylene's brother, glenn and sister in law, christina will meet us at the hotel the next day already. So there's ten of us on this weekend adventure.

We left at around 6:30 pm friday night. i wasnt feeling very well during the trip since i just had taken the day off, so i slept most of the time during the travel. we stopped by a mexican restaurant somewhere south of georgia for dinner. i could not exactly remember the name of the place. nweys, i had some beef quesadillas and guacamole :) which was a huge serving. we were supposed to order the children's plate but the mexican waiter would not be fooled by us passing as 12 yr olds :) nevertheless, the dinner was great. i love mexican food anyways as long as they are not so spicy :)

We got to the hotel at around 3 am coz we kinda missed an exit and had to take time to get to the hotel. We had to wake up at 7 am to start our adventure early. The parks open at around 9 am so we had to be leaving thirty minutes before to maximize our stay.

When i saw the sign "welcome to universal studio orlando", i knew i am going to have the time of my life :) and i got my camera ready to freeze the moments of this great weekend.

We visited the two theme parks for a whopping prize but was all worth it. On the first day (saturday), we visited the universal studios theme park and got to feel what a twister and earthquake would be like. we also got the chance to kill some aliens on our MIB alien attack training, ride the time travel machine on the back to the future ride, experience what brandon fraser had to go through in the mummy, see the jaws still alive (and i thought he was dead already after that many jaws movie), and laugh with shrek and donkey as they rescue princess fiona from lord farqaad.

There were still other movie attractions that we went to but we weren't able to go through everything since we were si exhausted, we had to go back to the hotel and take a quick break. we planned to go to universal city walk that night and check what it's like to party in orlando. but we weren't able to. we, girls just had to take our beauty sleeps and prepare for our adventure the next day. but the other four (dan, debbie, steve and demetra) still partied :)

We went to the universal studios island of adventure theme park on sunday and had a more thrilling adventure with all those marvel comics heroes. But had fun with the water rides at the toon lagoon with popeye, olive and bluto. Just scared with the being almost devoured by the t-rex at the jurassic island river adventure. Wowed by the dueling dragons ride at the lost continent and sinbad's adventure :) But the best feeling was when i had to remember the child in me once i stepped on suess landing. i was like in candy land and seeing cat in the hat with thing 1 and thing 2 was just a dream come true. i was like a part on one of my favorite cartoon shows :)

i just didnt want the weekend to end. my energy was yet souring high on our way home that no matter how many hours the drive took, i just couldnt sleep and couldnt help smiling. the whole experience just made me realize how blessed i am and now i am more appreciative with the things that has been happening in my life. how i wish i could just let my family experience all this with me. Everything would just be in a totally different fun level experience if you were able to share it with people closest to your heart.

This ... or That?

For days now, i have been struggling to find the best digital camera which suits my fancy and my pocket. but it seems both could hardly meet. But even thinking about which camera do i really want is a struggle enough. Should i buy the one with the best optical zoom (hoping to do something about my frustration for photography) and sacrifice its being compact, its being handy, its being chic? But then, how long would i have the patience carrying a heavy camera around? and that i really doubt!

but then these days, not only am i struggling with my digital camera .. decisions here at work is also a big factor. it has almost been a month now that i've been facing a bug that looks like something really simple and easy to fix. i just can't figure out where to fix it! i've been crying here in my cube .. almost out loud even when i would just realize this is not a sound proof cube. wish we got this kinds of cube in cebu where we really have our own personal space and do whatever we want however we want it ... of course work related :)

then there's that trip that i'm going to take on the first weekend of september, should i go with my friend, christian, to new hampshire? or go directly to new york? which trip would save me more money and enjoy both states? :) would the four-hour drive between states be worth it? or should i just maximize touring new york, and take pictures outside the famous streets in manhattan, the empire state building and central park :)

oh decisions.. decisions.. decisions!! Am i just complicating my life? or is there a way to deal with matters like this in a more stress-free manner? whatever that is, i am surely far from it.

oh and by the way, finally, my first blog! :)