why c++? .. and why not?

interviewer: so, what do you like and not like with c++?

fictional me: i like c++ because it's the only programming language i know, so i'm comfortable with it (flashing a big smile)

real me: wasn't there any smarter thing for me to say? ..like something technical perhaps?

interviewer: O..kay. (looking perplexed)... what do you not like with c++? (he obviously didn't get my answer.. so did i! so duha nami! hehe)

fictional me: it's the expectations from other people. like, once they know that i know about mfc, they will expect that i know everything about mfc. but i can't just know everything about it.

real me: Ahyooh!! couldn't it get any worse? can somebody eat me alive now?

hmm.. do you think i have a chance on the job? if not, sayang. gwapo pa naman ang nag interview. :D

*********

a few questions and several stupid answers later...

interviewer: i hope you don't mind me asking a few questions on demographics. are you married? or single?

fictional me: oh, i don't mind... i am single. (flashing my biggest smile)

real me: not only single, available pa! ..teehee!

interviewer: any plans of getting married?

fictional me: (sounding surprised) oh, no... no plans as of now (blush)

real me: you can make me change my mind .. (don a sweet smile, and bat my eyelids)

interviewer: how long do you plan to stay in singapore?

fictional me: it really depends... as long as i still get a challenging job here, then i'd like to stay longer (aba! na-ay sense ang tubag... basta lagi dili technical question, mutonong ako answer!)

real me: well, if we'll be settling here ..hon-ey, then... there'd be no other place in the world that i'd like to go..

now i am really regretting that i'm not getting that job.

domesticated career woman

getting a career woman domesticated is such a tough task. to think she's still single. getting a "married" career woman, domesticated, is simply a terrible thing to do.

when i was yet in highschool, or even college, i never imagined myself to be cooking my own food, doing my laundry, fixing my own clothes. well, i just thought it was an impossible thing to mix with your studies. when i started working, the only thing that changed was that i had to pay for own laundry services and food, instead of my parents. the only household chore that i was tasked to do was to keep my abode clean and comfy enough to live in. but when i came here, i had to do everything now. i clean, not only the room, this time, but the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom, the storage area, the other common toilet. just everything. not only that, i have to do my laundry. but that's not the worst yet. i still have to iron my clothes, which i so so hate to do most. why can't all my clothes be wash and wear?

well, i don't mind the cleaning, the laundry and all that. but it's consuming my whole weekend. although staying at home is better than going to the malls. at least i could avoid from impulsive buying. but that's not it. my idea of a weekend could is to simply relax at home, watch my favorite movies. rest after a night's clubbing. :D

i so miss my weekends back in cebu. where i don't mind sleeping til noon on my saturdays, watch a movie or have dinner with friends. then my sundays would be a "me" day, where i have a lazy lunch, then visit a salon for a manicure, pedicure which takes most of my afternoon, go to church, and have a relaxing evening. then i'd get ready for not-as-stressful week ahead. no wonder i had more time to blog before.

now, i can't do all that anymore. my "me" days (? .. it's barely a day!) are those spent for my salsa classes. saturdays are usually spent house cleaning, and if i get lucky, i could do some laundry or go out at night to the salsa club. then i usually end up sleeping late on sundays doing my other personal stuffs. i even consider watching a movie now as a waste of time. i can't make this as my life outside work. my what-should-be a stress reliever is also stressful. i need more time to relax, recharge and be ready for another busy week. (weekends should last three days!)

it's not that i would have to give up doing my house chores, or like i should stop doing my laundry. they're like work, i can't just stop doing that. well, unless i pay someone to do my work for me.. oops, mali. i pay someone to do my chores for me. :) but i don't have the luxury to do that... it's way too expensive here. (na miss nuon nako si manang labandera) hehe.

oh well, i better get some sleep now if i really did have that tiring weekend.

changing tones

"alin, alin, alin ang naiba.
isipin kung alin, ang na-iba."

seriously.

it's tangy, lighter, and maybe, a bit lost.

i'm hoping that the change in tones shifts my general mood. the immensity of the void has caused me to mull over on unreasonable thoughts lately. i'm afraid i would loose control of my own sensibilities any minute if i don't do anything. even if it takes a sleepless night, i'm making this as my replacement therapy, as i try to get my ground back.

when hope still floats

last night, i felt a very discomforting pain in my body. i thought i was going to die right then. so i told myself, "is this it? is this how life would be just for me?". i felt so insignificant knowing that my passing away would not matter to anybody. but for an instant, i felt glad for i wouldn't have to worry about what to do with my life.

i talked to God for a minute. if my life was going to end that way, then i'm sorry if i hadn't lived the life as i should have, whatever it is. maybe i deserved the life being preempted before it was given a chance to blossom. however, it was as if God was giving me a choice to give in to my desperation. like i could choose to die right then, or continue to live. but from what i've read somewhere, life only ends when one puts out his light for hope. in hesitation, i heard myself plea for a second chance. i should continue to believe that hope still springs around the corner. i just need to look out for it in the unusual places.

i guess God heard my plea. i still managed to wake up and see the light this morning.

my day went back to normal. i took the usual bus ride to the office, thinking that it's going to be just another day. but somehow, something inside me felt different. i probably learned something from last night's dream. though my problems are the same as yesterday, i think there are still more solutions that i could find before the day ends.

btw, it's the day of the saints. i think a saint just saved me.