to be vacation high

wouldn't it be nice if i go bum for a month, go home to my very laid back province and leave this stress-inducing city and career-driven life? i think i could sustain a month without work. cuz.. yeah, like i'm really gonna miss that. *roll eyes*

for sure my parents wouldn't mind if i tell them i'd be going home jobless. my mom's not too busy schedule had her redecorate one of our rooms at home preparing it in case i take a long vacation. see, she's anticipating this. what if i'm going to do just that?

i've created a vivid picture of what my days would be like during that long break. i'd be practicing driving again and get stressed by all the other whacky drivers in the streets. but i'll loose all that as i bum at the beach during hot afternoons, enjoying the cool sea breeze and a refreshingly cold buko juice or mango shake. on the other afternoons, i'd probably learn a sport, like tennis. i've always wanted to learn to play that game. then, i'd hang out with my childhood friends, and talk about their married lives. i bet that would be a much more interesting topic compared to my boring life out here. and just to spice up my stay, i'd probably get a month-long affair. harharhar. i'm kidding, of course.

but seriously, i would, by no doubt, trade a month's salary for that kind of life. so, what am i waiting for?

too much of nothing

i'm really having nasty changes of mood these days. maybe i get this when i'm staying too much at home. i was never, or rather, i am never a homebody type of person, though i try to be. i mean, i don't mind staying at home as long as there's something that would keep me busy. however, if there's nothing left to do at home, i get restless. like you've already done all the cleaning and tidying up, what's next then? well, unless i'd do the cleaning all over again just for the sake of having something to do. hmm, no way. (am i glad i'm still sane!)

another thing, it is okay to stay at home as long as i still got some movies or tv series to watch. however, i've had enough of prison break episode marathons. if it weren't for wentworth miller, i wouldn't be watching too much of this series despite the amazing plot it has. i get too affected with whatever movies i watch. some episodes just gets into my sleep. there are just so many scenes that are pretty disturbing. i'm afraid i'd be developing low latent inhibition. that i won't mind as long as i got a high IQ. :p

hasty decisions

Sometimes, there is no race to be won, only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.

it's a bit too late for a welcome-2007 new year post since this is like the 5th post of the month already. however, i should say that this year started with tons of tough decisions to make.

all of us have probably made some decisions that we regret right after. all because we've never really pondered much about it, and just trusted our gut-feeling towards the matter at hand. then we pay the consequences of these hasty decisions - consequences that have left us some valuable lessons in our lives.

sometimes, we decide irrationally because we avoid the trouble of weighing things properly. well, i often commit that mistake in my life. i say i always act by my emotions, where the results are always regretful. sometimes, my rational mind kicks in too late, where i get torn between turning back on what i've already decided, or getting on with it, simply to save face.

if only life's decisions are as easy as deciding what pair of shoes to buy, cause i'll simply just buy both. however, some decisions you have to make involves other people, or places. as the cliché goes, you can't be in two places at the same time. that's usually the hardest decisions everyone has to make.

i thought i'd really be leaving singapore for good the next month. now, that i've got all things ready, money to survive me the first few months on the land of milk and honey, a visa, and no job in singapore (cause i’ve resigned already). a plane ticket was all that's left, then i'm off for good. sounds like i'm off to a new adventure, huh?

but up to the last minute, i was not at peace with this decision. i was all of a sudden clouded with second thoughts, and worries. it's almost too late to back out now. but it's either i back out now before it’s really too late, and suffer the consequences right after. or deal with it, and still suffer the consequences right after. not much of a choice, huh? when i felt trouble looming over my mind, it was a mighty good sign that there's something wrong with what i was about to venture on.

it was not an easy thing to back out on something you've basically planned for several months. it was something i thought what i really wanted in my life. you know, the kind of thing you thought was what your heart desired most. was i really making the right move to leave this soon? do i really understand the situation or the place, that i was getting into? when these questions didn't start to leave my head, i knew i have to think things over, before i get on that plane and everything would really be too late. and the thinking-things-over part was really hell for me. the past days have left me disturbed, depressed and in constant worry. i felt i was a thin line away from insanity. time was ticking, people are waiting for me to decide. i have to make a decision, fast.

i know i have to face some consequences for this which i'm willing to pay. i know my credibility got tarnished because of my indecisiveness. some people were expecting me to go, and i’ve let them down. i just hope that despite my valid excuse, people would still trust me, or, I would still trust me. however, even if i know i've backed out on my word, i still am glad that i got saved by the bell.

i think i've made a good decision now. i'm at peace with the thought that i'm still staying. but not with the thought that i am out of job. uh-oh.

starstruck

i hope it's not too late for my wishlist.

if i can't have prince charming for 2007.. can i just have an iPhone?

on another note, i wonder what steve jobs would be up to next after the iPhone... iMe? :D

a wakeup call

call it boring, but interviews have really spiced up my life these days. job interviews, visa interviews, exit interviews. well, i'm just done with one, so the rest is still to come. *sigh*

how does one prepare for an interview, anyway? there are probably dozen of tips out there if you try googling it. but when you're facing the interviewer, all that was written would just puff into smoke and be gone. then you're all to yourself.

early this morning, i had one interview that could make or break my decision on where i'd be on the next few months. let's just say it's THE company that i'd like to grow old with. well, since prince charming ain't around yet (he's busy filming right now), i'll have to make the best out of this career, for now. :p ..back to THE interview, what did i do to prepare myself for it? just slept early, since the interview's at 7 am, and the phone's at the living room, so must get up early, move to the sofa just to hear the phone ring. that's all. even if i did prepare some big words to impress the recruiting agent, i would still have forgotten what they were. besides, there's really no formula as to what kind of questions to expect. so, just prepare yourself for some surprise, and pray hard that you would do well. exactly what i did. i was surprised with most of the questions. though i'm not sure if i did well. :(

the interview went for around thirty minutes, which was quite longer than expected. in the email, it was mentioned that the whole thing would last about 10-15 minutes only. there wasn't really not much technical questions asked. they probably reserved that for face to face interviews. the questions were similar to the 'why c++' kind. the questions with no right answers. good thing it was only a phone interview. there's no reason to get self-conscious and behave silly, like the interview with the hotties. :D

by the end of the interview, i asked the interviewer what kind of qualities they are looking for, for the position i was applying. he simply said that one has to be smart and passionate about coding. i was speechless for a moment, not that the answer was an extreme surprise. probably, reality just hit me. passionate about pole dancing would have been more feasible for me. but passionate about coding?

well, obviously, i am not. is this a wakeup call for me? should i just turn back, bum around and rethink about how to reshape my future and act on it when i'm 30? or should i continue trudging on this path, and just brace myself with what's to come? decisions, decisions. if only prince charming is around to help me out on this. Wentworth Miller, hello? u there? :p

seriously, i have to ask myself this for several times. is coding really my passion? i'm afraid it's not. just thinking about that makes me all queasy and nauseous... but i want that job, i soo badly want that job. *cries out loud*.. i guess i have to work on that being passionate thing if this is what i so badly need. that's got to be possible, right? i better give up pole dancing then.

"You have to love what you do, and you have to need it like you need air." - Wentworth Miller

shooting stars and fairy tales

my friends and i were walking by the riverside behind the esplanade theater last night when we saw this huge thing, like a star, falling from the sky. it was too big for a star seen by my own naked eyes. the biggest one i've ever seen. when the lights didn't trail off after several seconds, i was afraid that the thing was some big meteor rock,and would eventually fall to the grounds at marina bay. then after some heavy explosion, superman would come out from his wrecked space shuttle.... stop. okay, that's a bit far-out.

i must have been so dazed seeing the thing above the sky, that i almost forgot to make a silent wish. it's a superstitious thing, but there's nothing to loose and it's a bit cute to wish on a shooting star... and romantic, if you wished for true love to come. then lo and behold, a stranger walks towards me, then he will turn out to be my prince charming and we'll live happily ever after. hmm, superman coming out from a fallen meteor-rock could sound more realistic than that.

oh well, the night ended without news of superman nor my prince charming, of course. my fairy tales were just products of an empty stomach and a bad case of sinusitis. but i don't loose hope on seeing either one of them. hehe. as cinderalla would have it, "Someday, my prince will come.".. or was that snow white? shoot. how could i have forgotten that? am i getting rusty for fairy tales? :(

learning patience

i had my old employment pass cancelled last week as it expired already. my residence status then changed to social visit pass valid until 12th of january only. that got me a daily doze of anxiety as that's next week already! what had possibly gone wrong with my application? i submitted my papers to my boss by end of november. why hasn't it been approved? did i get rejected? what if i won't ever be approved? does that mean i have to go back to PI, then? that can't be. not now! not at these crucial times! ... okay, that's a bit exaggerating!.. but still. :(

i was surprised to learn last wednesday that my company just submitted my application on the 20th. that's like three weeks after i gave them my papers. no wonder the approval's taking so long. but i just didn't get mad or throw tantrums of some sort. i have to keep my cool over the whole thing since there are other more important stuffs to worry about. besides, my energy got drained on my almost hourly check online for my EP status. as if that's not enough, i even have to call MOM's hotline and double check. just imagine the frustration was building up everytime i read the word 'PENDING' online or hear the operator say 'your application is still under review'. GRRR.

so thursday came, exactly two weeks since my application was submitted. the first thing i did when 8:00 am striked was check the status online. still PENDING. sigh. i had to say to myself repeatedly, "Patience is virtue. Patience is virtue. Patience - is virtue."

i had to make myself busy at work so that i won't be as tormented as yesterday over this EP thing and maybe i'll have some actual progress at work.

10:00 AM.

it's 2 hrs since i last check, probably the status got updated.... and Voila! A-P-P-R-O-V-E-D!! i was so happy that i wanted to tell anyone i meet at work that i finally got my EP approved. :) i just so love the word 'APPROVED'. hehe. i wanted to rush to MOM and get that little green card! talking about overly excited about the whole thing :p

of course, i didn't rush. i wouldn't want to make them feel how eager i was.

2:00 PM

i walked into my boss's office, and asked if i could get an authorization to get my EP's approval letter myself. did i say i won't rush? but, the four hour wait was almost unbearable. really. boss consented, but he didn't give me an easy time. we talked, and talked like we have the whole afternoon. did he do that on purpose? was EAGERNESS written all over my face?.. it was difficult enough to feign interest when my mind was already on its way to Havelock Rd.

3:00 PM

the moment boss handed me the authorization letter, i literally rushed to MOM. i took the taxi and kissed my 10 dollars goodbye. i queued patiently at the customer service counter. in a few minutes, i'll finally get hold of my EP. Yey!

3:10 PM

at last, my turn! that wasn't such a long wait. i handed my authorization letter to the customer service officer.

she got my letter, and checked at her computer. seconds ticking.

customer service officer: Ma'am, You're EP just got approved today, you have to wait for at least seven days for the approval letter. if it doesn't reach you within seven working days, then come back with this authorization to get the approval letter personally.

@#$%@#! oo na, patience is virtue.