spreadin' some luvin'

i was browsing through the different news headlines from my iGoogle, when one subject from my 'Reuters:Oddly Enough' gadget caught my attention. It said, "A bad relationship can cause heart attack"... and i was like, what's so odd with that?

bad relationships can definitely cause you a heart attack. it slowly destroys you. worse, it could definitely kill you if you let it be. i mean, the article said so and those who just got out from one could definitely testify to that. but hey, i don't mean to say that i've just been out of a very very bad relationship, or that i've ever been to one that's close to the killing kind. i mean, we do get to experience a bad relationship at least once, and we all know it's very intoxicating and very consuming. and once you're out of it, you realize that it was not worth to be in it at all.

i am not limiting relationships here to romantic relationships. it could be relationships with friends turned enemies. you could be in a huge family feud, and that's also a form of being in a bad relationship. but i guess families are the most difficult one to get rid off. admit it, families are just those people we can't get away with, cause we didn't choose them in the first place. we're basically stuck with them.

my point is, being in a bad relationship is really not worth it. i mean, if you are in one, get out of it if you still can. while you still can. you will just be in a situation that would ruin you, and whatever is left of your self worth. but i don't mean to say make war with those involved. getting out of a bad relationship could also mean making peace with the person involved. if you think you've been enslaved, intoxicated by someone, talk to that person and try to approach to a healthier, more peaceful atmosphere together. i mean if that person is really worth it in your life. if possible, try to build good relationships with those around you. who knows what you might find out? it would be really surprising to learn that you're the toxic one in the relationship. you're the one that's bringing all the negativity. you're the one who's creating that clashing aura. well, this is just a way of looking at the other side of the coin.

so, strip off that pride, wash away those anger, rinse off that jealousy, and spread love y'all. :p

i sound like a hippie :D well, that's just me getting a bit carried away...but, it would really be such a sad thing if we die from a broken heart, right? :)

garfield wisdom

whenever i'm so stressed or high-strung at work, or whenever my day just seems so grey, dull, gloomy, uneventful, whatever ... i always treat myself with some garfield humour. this cat never fails to crack me up, and loosen up all my uptight nerves.

i was reading my garfield comic strip for today, and i think i just had the best laugh for the day. pathetic? nah. shallow? maybe, but we're entitle to be shallow. :)

"yeah, you, you, and you.. make me pancakes or i'll hose you!" LOL... don't you wish you could just do that to someone who really irks you up for no apparent reason? i bet the shock on the person's face will bring the same smile garfield did when i read this. ahh.. mean me.

a doze of garfield humor a day, keeps all my stress away. add up the 'Garfield of the Day' gadget to your iGoogle then. :)

making it a grey matter

the caffeine-overdosed, slightly tipsy zombie is still awake. she's torturing her already pathetic self with heart-wrenching last episodes of grey's anatomy season 3, trying hard (but failing terribly) not to relate her miserable relationship angsts to whatever the equally misarble characters are facing.

she tells herself, tears are for sissies. no one cries over a jerk.. but darn, mcsteamy's just so freaking hot. her mind wanders about ways to nurture her maternal instincts, whilst she runs away to the farthest corner at the hint of a coming proposal. the next thing she knew, she made herself vulnerable and jumped at the next guy available. headlights were flashing everywhere, but she was just too stubborn to pay attention. she believed she knew all about the game. she thought she was in control and she can handle it all. but when her own emotions betrayed her, she realized that she's just as naive, optimistic and hopeful like any little girl dreaming about the one day when prince charming will come. the biatch in her thinks that really really sucks.

but then, the drama's over when the show stops. tears have dried up, and reality is starting to sink in. however, these words from one of the episodes will remain:

desire leaves our heart broken, it wears us out
desire can wreck your life

but as tough as wanting something can be,
the people who suffer the most are those who don't know what they want

getting sense out of a sleepless night

i was really supposed to be tired last night after having attended the dedication day of the christian life program at st. peter's and paul church organized by sfc-singapore. i stayed on a bit much later than i expected to. after the event, some friends gathered at starbucks for late night coffee, which is usually a bad idea if you do try to get some coffee. i opted for a green tea latte then, which i wasn't quite sure if there was too much cream, or there was too little green tea in it. oh well, i didn't bother much of the drink as i was busy chitchatting, and laughing my heart out, while taking pictures (something that's really not to be missed when these people do hang out together). all in all, there wasn't really nothing to complain despite how late it was when we called it a night.

i arrived home thirty minutes past midnight. but only went to bed at almost two after my nightly routines (not the acrobatic kind), and checking my emails and catching up with friends at gtalk. i was supposed to be dead-tired the moment i laid down in bed. however, i did not get enough of the much-needed sleep. i think it took me lots of daydreaming before i finally dozed off, and i was awake wondering if i actually slept at all. the sun wasn't still up. my roommie's still asleep (she gets up at about 6 am), and i can't get back to sleep. darn!

was i really that restless yesterday when i've been keeping myself really busy at work? was it because i was more troubled yesterday than i was the day before? was it because of the green tea latte? was it? was it? oh heck.. i can't think of any better reason. i will just have to deal with the fact that i'm a caffeine-overdosed, walking zombie today here at work.

but today's gonna be better - cause there's really nowhere else for things to go but be better. right? well, that's some optimism there! i feel like this gallon of energy ready to burst and tonight, i'm hoping to finally find an outlet for that. i just wish some nathan petrelli would fly me off to never never land, or wherever he brought peter with him, before i bring out more chaos to myself. but i don't mind if it's going to be nathan himself, i so love his dirty, i-dont-care-about-the-world look at season 2. so intense. so luv it :D

on another note, i think it's just a bit sad when there's so much that i would like to do, but i could not pick on a specific thing to start with. plus, all these talks about wedding plans (not mine), and relationship disasters (not mine either) are making me loose my balance despite them being seriously interesting topics. seriously. isn't there anything else we can care more about ? world peace perhaps?

addiction and retail therapy

i've been restless for more than a month already. there's some addiction that i'm working on getting rid off - and that's not shopping :D well, i am in dire need of a diversion from some inner struggle that's been eating me. it's like i want to be freed from this hard habit to break.

i've tried getting myself busy. but i can't be busy all the time. but even if i were, i get easily distracted. and i always welcome distraction with open arms. so it doesn't always work. thus i've failed terribly and miserably in keeping my sanity most of the time. the easiest thing i could resort to in times like this is - retail therapy.

however, this intoxication is something that could not be rid off easily by some shoes or bag. not anymore, not even temporarily. i became desperate for something different. something that i don't usually go for when i'm in retail therapy.

the first splurge was my inmotion altec lansing iPod dock with FM tuner, S$289, which i bought more than a month ago. i needed an instant fix from a betrayal that i never saw coming. yeah, i still remembered that dreadful afternoon where all of this started. but i'm not going into detail about that as i'm supposed to be forgetting and moving on.

you see, i'm not a gadget person. i'm a shoe person. i buy shoes when i'm really depressed, or even a bit depressed, or when i think i should be depressed. well, you get what i mean. my point is, this gadget-loving-me is something really new. i'm expecting to experience a different sense of satisfaction from my new buy. i guess i did. now, each time i look at my iPod dock, i don't remember much the "incident". instead, i still find myself in disbelief how i was able to splurge such amount for that little black thing on my table that i only use as an FM radio most of the time. if it's an FM radio that i really wanted, i can get one for S$50 and buy a separate speaker that could cost much much less. i guess this is "the diversion" at work. i don't get into something like this after buying an unreasonably expensive pair of shoes. i can always defend my new pair from reason.

i was fine for a few days after that. but of course it didn't last. we are entitled for some lapse of judgment at some point in our life. i went on relapse, and was suffering more. i'm still restless. and each time i felt like i need something to divert my energy to, i went for more retail therapy.

there's still so much in my list to buy while this restlessness still hangs in the air. but i know i'll get over this and retail therapy is my lame excuse for my unnecessary buys. i know it's not really solving my problem. it's creating new ones instead - like how to deal with an empty pocket.

i should really start thinking that i'm tougher than i give myself credit for. my addiction can be solved without the aid of retail therapy. but while i'm not really so convinced with that, i have to keep my distance from these shops. and hope i don't fall for the same mistakes again. and again. and again. well, it's not called an addiction if i could easily help myself from it, right?

and like how a local would put it - so how?

all-daughtry

yes, i couldn't simply get enough of daughtry. i was free for the afternoon, so i decided to show up at their autograph signing session at the HMV store at orchard. i didn't really mind if i couldn't get my cd signed if there were too many people queueing up for the band's signatures. i'll be fine as long as i could get closer pictures of the whole band :)

the session was around 4pm, so there wasn't a big crowd at the venue. giggly highschool girls comprised most of the fans hanging out for their autographs. but there were also young boys bringing out their guitars, which i find really cute :) i was tempted to join the highschool girls the moment the whole band walked towards the platform where they would be signing their autographs. but i didn't, of course. my jaw just dropped to see chris daughtry walking up on stage. but i recovered myself after a second naman :D hehehe.

since there wasn't too many people queueing up for the autograph signing, i decided to get up on the platform and have my cd cover signed. so, i was able to get up close and personal with chris daughtry and the whole band. yey! *keeping myself from jumping and getting gaga over the whole experience* .. i think i didn't breath the whole time i was standing in front of him. i was afraid i'd swoon. lol.

so i guess that concludes my daughtry experience. but of course, i'll still always be a fan... :)

about daughtry

i am not a daughtry fanatic. well, not really anyways.

when i heard over the radio that the band is coming to singapore about weeks ago, i just frantically got psyched that i knew i have to get tickets. i basically just shouted on my gtalk that daughtry is going to be in singapore. some heaven-scent friend (jason, that's u :p) got the message and was kind enough to help me how to get tickets since the show was marked as 'invites only'. i got to be invited, di ba?

so when i got my tickets, i didn't do leaps, nor did i spread to my friends how to get their own invites. i basically just freed my whole week for this concert, to make this night as my week's highlight. (i wonder what next week's gonna be?). no dates (asa pa!), no appointments, just pure daughtry.

when the day of the concert came (yesterday), i managed to go to the office a little bit early than usual (just about 45 minutes earlier lang naman). i compromised with my boss that i won't take a whole day leave tomorrow as long as he will agree that i leave for work earlier than usual. good thing the bigger boss was out the whole afternoon (was he at the concert too?), so that part wasn't a real problem.

i was early at the venue (thanks to my boss). but i decided to grab some coffee first as i was afraid to doze off during the show, and grabbed some muffins too while i'm at it. i was surprised that the queue was so long already when we got to the venue (st. james powerstation), and it was still about thirty minutes before they open up the place. i didn't expect that there'd be this many daughtry fans out here too.

good thing we were able to squeeze in a good spot during the show. but alas, i was the only one at my corner who was practically holding myself from jumping and screaming my lungs out to the songs that my heart knows so well. i couldn't take a good video for a whole song as my hands and knees have gotten weak surprisingly. i couldn't even carry my own bag. good thing, janeth was there to help me out. hehe. i basically rolled over and went to heaven during the show.

but that wasn't the night's highlight ofcourse. after the concert, when we exited in one of the hallways, daughtry and i crossed ways like we were destined to be. he smiled, and i kissed him smiled back. *dreamy eyed*. well, of course that didn't happen. the body guards were blocking our paths, as if he got the hint that i'll throw myself towards chris (excuse me no, di ako fanatic! :D ). hehe. sige na nga, i'll just content myself that he was once an arm's length and a bodyguard away from me. :D

but seriously, it was an amazing night just listening to great songs from a very, very talented singer like chris daughtry. i think his band members were equally talented too. it was such an awesome show. and chris being such a hottie is just an added bonus.