taking on a challenge

after pouring my heart out in my previous blog about my current obsession, surprisingly, i found a surge of peacefulness within me that i could not find anything to blog about. my emotions have gone blank. zilch. does this mean that i have managed to make peace with my own demons? or simply put, have i moved on? or ... have i gotten numb?

hmm, i am not too sure if there's even something to move on about the whole thing. i can't say if getting a "closure" would even make a difference. it didn't do a thing when i struggled for it before, so how could it possibly put things in a different perspective now? come to think of it, "closure" is like this thin thread where hopeless romantics desperately hang on to. once you've let go, you realize you were holding on to the wrong thread nweys. so what's there to loose, but time? (well, there's a thought i could bang my head with from time to time.) maybe, indeed, i've gotten numb.

nweys, i am not about to go gushing once again about my own histoire d'amour. all these thoughts just came when i've decided to take on a challenge which i found from charming's website - the NaBloPoMo, where you need to blog about anything everyday for the whole month of november. that's every freaking single day, and i got a life outside work too, if you haven't noticed.

while i was on the bus on my way home from the gym (yes, i'm trying to be a health buff), i was really up for this challenge. i was composing my thoughts on what could i possibly blog about every single day, where i don't have to dwell much on my geeky, nerdy job. that's when i realized that i've burried the hatchet after killing my own demons when i openly wrote about letting go. well, i am not really too sure about killing my own demons. i'm making friends with them would be more like it. befriend your own enemies, as they say. hehehehe. and of course i'm kidding.

okay, there goes the only complex thing in my life these days. dans l'absence d'amour, what is left for me to write? naks.. seriously, what's left for me to rant about? new shoes? new sale? new dish to cook? ... new obsession? hmm..

oh well .. peu importe. i can still very much rant about anything under the sun nweys.

ja, ganbatte! :D

it's not the shoes

there are events in your life, like falling down on your knees in front of many people, construction men at that, that could make you think - dili lagi mag rampa2x basta daghang ali sa dalan! waaaah.

this post is not about some shoes. however, it's this pair of pumps that is an accessory to my embarrassing morning.

you see, our pool is under construction, and the whole re-tiling thing around the area was causing too many obstructions on what is left of our little walkway. i was avoiding a potted plant when my 3.5 inch heels got stuck on the net they used to block around the pool while they work. the next thing i knew, i was out of balance and fell down on my knees, with several eyes having to witness all that.

i had to slowly get up, dust off my pants, and check for bruises.. (and call 911) .. and composed myself. while doing that, i thought to myself, "darn! why do i have to rush to work when wearing my favorite pair of pumps! and why do our pool have to be re-tiled when what it really needs, is to be re-shaped. who wants to swim in a bean-shaped pool when the chances of bumping into someone is high? .. where's your manager!! gusto kong magcomplain!"... hehe of course i didn't call management, nor ranted at the men who were my instant audience during the whole incident. all i had was a bruised ego.

i think i just gave all those men an icebreaker. something to perk up their morning at my expense! hmph! all what's left for me to do was maintain my poise and redeem myself while i slowly walked towards the gate and exited from our apartment. i still could still feel their eyes slowly following me until i reached the gate. once i found myself safe from their gazes and got my senses back, i surprisingly found myself thankful that i didn't fall sideways and sprain my ankle. or worse, i did not take an accidental dive to the pool. i guess i was still lucky. falling down at the pool would have been a definite show stopper.

i just hope those men won't be looking forward for another icebreaker tomorrow. i should really stop procrastinating during mornings and rush myself to work to avoid such accidents.. or, i could also not wear the same pair of shoes while our pool is under construction. :D

in case you're wondering, why the picture? wala lang.. i just want to say, "in fairness, maganda ang shoes ko!" wehehehe. that's the shoe junkie in me talking. :p

cozy morning musings

except for a few exceptionally energetic people, waking up in the morning is a total drag. make that double the effort when it's a monday morning. then raise that to the nth power, when it's a rainy monday morning. you get my point.

i usually turn the volume loud on my radio, listening to class 95's glenn and the flying dutchman for their morning express segment, and looking forward to the right feel good music that would kick me out of my bed. sometimes, we really need something, an outer force, to keep us going. the few exceptionally energetic people don't need things like that though, and i really, really envy them for that. *sigh helplessly*

i look forward to mornings where i won't feel that they are such a drag. when someone would wake me up, and shower me with morning kisses. i need my dreamlover to rescue me. *sigh dreamily*

well, that's the song that perked me up today. mariah carey's Dream Lover. isn't this a nice one? a morning filled with romantic hope despite the weather? on another note, maybe the weather does got something to do with all the romanticism.

I need a lover to give me
The kind of love
That will last always
I need somebody uplifting
To take me away
I want a lover who knows me
Who understands how I feel inside
Someone to comfort and hold me
Through the long lonely nights
Till the dawn
Why don't you take me away

six things about me, as told by my weekend

i know this is a late post, but there's just too much to catch up at work, not to mention some tres kulit people you have to entertain in between. but it's still tuesday. it's not even mid-week yet, so i guess i can still talk about my weekend. but even if a week has already passed, i would defenitely not miss a chance to write about this weekend. it was too surreal :D

since it was hari raya holiday in singapore, my girlfriends and i decided to do get a break and go on vacation. less travel time, more beach bum time and end it with a very relaxing massage was our target. good thing janeth found the perfect place to do all that. the next thing we knew, we were heading to Angsana Resort in Bintan, Indonesia.

i think it would be nice to talk about my weekend by pointing out the things i've learned about me from it. i got this idea from charmingbutsingle's blog. i even just copied her blog's title. but instead of eight, i could only come up with six.

1) i am a beach bum. i can't help it but i just love the beach so much. staring at the calm sea and clear blue sky never fails to leave me breathless. my weekend was filled with lying by the beach, and some swimming. oh, and beach volleyball could be fun, wish i could really learn to play it :)

2) i can learn photography. well, i only have a point and shoot cam, the nikon s7 coolpix. i was playing around the manual settings, adjusting the best combination of the exposure, the flash and the ISO, etc for the scene and i found myself really enjoying the different results that i got. it's fun. so, i realized that i can learn photography to take better pics. not that our pictures aren't great already wehehehe. if we had a more professional cam, like a dslr, we probably gave more justice to the beauty of the resort :D however, i don't have budget for a dslr,not now anyways, so that hobby will have to wait.

3) i'm easy to please. nothing beats life's simple pleasures, like star-gazing. the thing with staying in a big city, star-gazing becomes a luxury. the city lights just steals the thunder from all those beautiful stars spread across the night sky. good thing we were able to do that in the resort. We visited the nearby, more exlusive (more luxurious) resort, the Banyan Tree, which is of the same owner from the resort that we stayed. the Banyan Tree all had villas, and very, very romantic, by the cliff restaurants that is overlooking the south china sea.

one of the open air restos in Banyan Tree had double and single beds lined up, facing the sea. The beds were beautifully setup with flowers scattered on them, some throw pillows and candles by the bedside table. we were lying on one of the beds, cozying up. we simply stayed there and feasted on the star-glazed night sky, weaving our own romantic dreams :) *sigh* dun palang, busog na ako. but our appetite changed its mind when we had a taste of our meal.

4) i luv food trippin'. when you're in a fine resort, fine dining will always be there. wala kami choice :p we had dinner at Banyan Tree's TreeTops cafe. we ordered codfish in some port wine sauce, seafood chowder, watermelon salad, and a bottle of wine. sosy ang mga lola, pa wine-wine pa. we were surrounded by couples who were on their own romantic dates, but i think our bubbly mood (and boisterous laughter), ruined the ambiance for those couples. hehe. our apologies, but we just didn't want to ruin our mood too.

after the sumptuous dinner, we then requested for a buggy to send us back to our resort, with a buggy-licious driver to drive us. :D

5) i know how to pamper me. well, we do have the tendency to be a bit vain. so, after all the talk about the gnawing emptiness creeping at the back of my soul, i decided that i deserve a little pampering. the weekend is all about that anyways. for me, the best way to pamper myself is head off to the spa and get a good massage. and i was lucky, or rather, my friends and i were lucky, that we had the best massage ever. they prepared a very refreshing welcome drink, cucumber juice (you read that right, my first time to try it and it was surprisingly good). The staff was very gracious and very accomodating. the massage itself was very precisely done for your specific need and they used a very soothing aromatic massage oil, which they exclusively sell. their therapists were definitely well-trained to give the best spa service to their guests. i finished off my spa by a refreshing bath and putting on their very soothing jasmine scented lotion. heavenly. there was nothing i could definitely complain about the whole service. the massage removed all my stress and definitely left me on the high :)

6) i'm weak. i find it so difficult to kick old habits. i have to admit that one of the stressful thing that i wanted to get rid off, and one of the things that was leaving me empty the past days, or months even, was some mcsteamy-related stress. my weekend was supposed to be all about relieving myself from that. however, the moment we headed back to singapore, fate was playing some tricks on me. or probably this is just a way to test me how serious am i about the moving on thing...hmm..we'll see.

anyways, if i do get all stressed out once again, then there's a reason i should head back to Angsana Resort and get me another spa! Who knows, i'll reach maldives this time! haha. what a great excuse! :p

to post pics on my multiply site :)

faith at 2 am

i know i should be dozing off by now as i have an early trip. i have to be awake in - 3 hrs. but that's okay, i'm headed to the beach this weekend anyways .. so that'll be a great place to just.. sleep. okay, and swim too :D

one reason i have not blogged much these days (well, compared to last month), is that i am trying to detach myself from some gnawing emptiness because there are just things i need to learn to let go. if possible, i should not let this bog down on me. not anymore. i don't know if i am just in denial, or this is just me, coping.

life's just too beautiful to spend too much time understanding why there are just things that do not work out the way we want to be. i know, there are still too many lessons that i need to learn. and whenever i feel helpless like this, i'll just say to myself.."God's plan is just too grand for me to comprehend.. i just need to put a little more faith on Him".

that's it. a little more faith. :)

spreadin' some luvin'

i was browsing through the different news headlines from my iGoogle, when one subject from my 'Reuters:Oddly Enough' gadget caught my attention. It said, "A bad relationship can cause heart attack"... and i was like, what's so odd with that?

bad relationships can definitely cause you a heart attack. it slowly destroys you. worse, it could definitely kill you if you let it be. i mean, the article said so and those who just got out from one could definitely testify to that. but hey, i don't mean to say that i've just been out of a very very bad relationship, or that i've ever been to one that's close to the killing kind. i mean, we do get to experience a bad relationship at least once, and we all know it's very intoxicating and very consuming. and once you're out of it, you realize that it was not worth to be in it at all.

i am not limiting relationships here to romantic relationships. it could be relationships with friends turned enemies. you could be in a huge family feud, and that's also a form of being in a bad relationship. but i guess families are the most difficult one to get rid off. admit it, families are just those people we can't get away with, cause we didn't choose them in the first place. we're basically stuck with them.

my point is, being in a bad relationship is really not worth it. i mean, if you are in one, get out of it if you still can. while you still can. you will just be in a situation that would ruin you, and whatever is left of your self worth. but i don't mean to say make war with those involved. getting out of a bad relationship could also mean making peace with the person involved. if you think you've been enslaved, intoxicated by someone, talk to that person and try to approach to a healthier, more peaceful atmosphere together. i mean if that person is really worth it in your life. if possible, try to build good relationships with those around you. who knows what you might find out? it would be really surprising to learn that you're the toxic one in the relationship. you're the one that's bringing all the negativity. you're the one who's creating that clashing aura. well, this is just a way of looking at the other side of the coin.

so, strip off that pride, wash away those anger, rinse off that jealousy, and spread love y'all. :p

i sound like a hippie :D well, that's just me getting a bit carried away...but, it would really be such a sad thing if we die from a broken heart, right? :)

garfield wisdom

whenever i'm so stressed or high-strung at work, or whenever my day just seems so grey, dull, gloomy, uneventful, whatever ... i always treat myself with some garfield humour. this cat never fails to crack me up, and loosen up all my uptight nerves.

i was reading my garfield comic strip for today, and i think i just had the best laugh for the day. pathetic? nah. shallow? maybe, but we're entitle to be shallow. :)

"yeah, you, you, and you.. make me pancakes or i'll hose you!" LOL... don't you wish you could just do that to someone who really irks you up for no apparent reason? i bet the shock on the person's face will bring the same smile garfield did when i read this. ahh.. mean me.

a doze of garfield humor a day, keeps all my stress away. add up the 'Garfield of the Day' gadget to your iGoogle then. :)