the wedding of the year

i remembered ria saying that all she asked God was to give him someone whom she will be an answered prayer to. and just when you give up the pen and let Him write your lovestory, He'll simply give the exact thing that you've been asking for.

I know both of them are each other's answered prayer..to Ri and Dan, I wish you both all the best :)

actually, speech ko sana yan sa wedding, pero nagblackout man ako mind.. so the best that i cud muster was "Congratulations and best wishes".. nweys, not that the new couple still needs it.. this is indeed a match made in heaven, (natagnaan gud sa manghuhula).. see... it's the meant-to-be kind of thing :) just check georgia's blog for a more detailed account of the wedding (actually, i just feel lazy to re-write what ms. g has already beautifully written, so thanks daan ..hehehe).. besides, i couldn't agree with her more for saying it's the "wedding of the year" .. cuz it's really true. (therefore, next year nalang ko magpakasal, so i don't have to steal ria's thunder .. wehehehe assuming!!)

twas in the stars

i don't really believe in astrology. but sometimes, when what you read gets coincidental with what's currently happening in your life, it becomes a source of harmless fun.

so much has been going on lately (thus the silence in my blog-dom), that i really do not know how to start writing about it. and like as if the stars have planned it (okay, for astrology's sake), i came across the astrology section of yahoo on love and relationships for the month of may (first time i've done this), it seems that what i've been meaning to write has already been written for me. (pag inlove ba naman, i-link lahat sa stars, sa numbers, sa nature, sa weather para lang ma explain ang di ma explain.. hehehe)

Piscean's Monthly Love for May, 2007

"As the month begins on the 1st and 2nd, you are at a major turning point romantically. Are you really getting to know yourself so that you can own your own insecurities and not project them onto another person? Are you gaining a better understanding of what you need and what you can't stand in a relationship with somebody else? Are you just plain more comfortable? That sounds great. Keep working on it all month long. By the 6th and 7th, you've got a much clearer vision of what's happening, and this allows you to deal with problems much more effectively. The 11th, you have a really fantastic, absolutely romantic day. Enjoy it -- after all, you've done a lot of hard emotional work to get here. By the 15th, you're going to have the opportunity to accept the things for what they are rather than continue to imagine that they're the way you'd like them to be. Even if this is a little difficult, it's good for you. The 20th, if you want it -- or them -- go for it. By the 26th and 27th, it's time for you to really go for your desires. The 31st, you're at another turning point. Which way do you turn, sweet pea?"

well, i didn't really mind the dates cause they're most likely just picked at random. but the sequence of how things turned out was just plainly coincidental with what i was going through all month long - except of course on the part where how things will be concluded. right now, i'm very definite on which way i would turn :)

view from the 13th floor

singapore being just a flat surface, one can really see a wide horizon even if you're not on top of a sky rise building. my office is just on the 13th floor, and my director had the brilliant idea to keep wide window glasses to allow more natural light to come in. luckily, my cube is facing the window, and everytime i try to stand from my chair, i get to see this peaceful view outside. it makes you realize that this city is just simply clean (pollution free), very well-arranged and still is as bustling like any metropolitan.

usually, i take a few minutes off to enjoy the scenic beauty outside the office window. seeing the blue sky and the sun shining brightly over the city just makes me be thankful more about all the blessings we've enjoyed all through out our lives. i have this unexplainable renewed peace in my heart now. no more depressed, lonesome and near suicidal thoughts looming over. even on cloudy days like today, the mood never changes outside. cause just about the corner of the horizon, you can see the sun refusing to be defeated by the dark clouds. a glimpse of hope shines as the promise of a beautiful day lies ahead.

so stressed-out

sometimes i wonder why i'm taking on a non-c++ job. i thought it would be way easier and less stressful. but i was wrong of course. it has nothing to do with the programming language. all technical jobs are really stressful. well, with deadlines to beat, who wouldn't be?

let me rephrase then. sometimes i wonder why i'm doing this kind of job. i've been asking myself these questions for ages already, but still i can't leave it. why can't i just pick up my bag and say, "i'm done with all these tech stuffs and i'm leaving it for good!" but what would i be doing?

some people say, this is what i'm born to do and i'm doing a pretty good job at it, so why fret! but i'm sure they are pretty wrong about that. it's a misconception about me. plus, i don't want to simply just do a pretty good job at something, i want to be doing something that's at least ... Great! you know, the kind where you could proudly say to your grandkids, "you know what, your grand-mommy did that!". (what to do, what to do?)

i think i should start saving the world. but i'd start on the new planet earth that some scientists think exists some thousands of light years away from us. i heard it from the news yesterday. they haven't actually seen this new earth, but they've already felt its presence. read further about the story here.

but then, it will probably take gazillion years before earthlings are sent on a mission to this new planet. that means, my saving-the-new-earth mission will have to be put on hold. for the mean time, i'll continue pounding these keyboards, drain my brain, beat my deadlines and get myself stressed out. or.... i could look for a c++ job, and still get myself all stressed out.

of sandwiches and shoes

i ordered tuna wrap at subway for lunch today because i was starving, and i'm on a diet (which is really a bad combination). i usually just make my own sandwich for lunch the past days, cuz it's smaller, cheaper, and nothing gets to waste. nyweyz, despite my hunger, i still couldn't finish half of the sandwich. tsk tsk! well, blame it on the wrap. i think something was wrong with the wrap. i think it was too raw that i was like eating an uncooked dough. when i got an upset stomach right after, i was almost convinced i was eating an uncooked dough disguised as a pita wrap! how bad can that be? really! bad, bad subway! next time, i'll stick to wholemeal bread.

i didn't eat anything else by the rest of the afternoon as i always felt like vomiting everytime i attempt to put food on my mouth. so i get that my tummy hated the wrap so much that it's taking a revenge on me! by dinner time, i was already so famished that i can't anymore decide what to eat. :(

when i got home, i was grumbling from the blisters that my shoes gave me as i was taking them off. the shoes was newly bought and is supposed to be tender and kind to my feet. well, it is the most expensive sandals that i've gifted myself by far, thus the high expectations. i even closed my eyes when i handed the cashier my credit card when i paid for it. tapos magkaka-blisters lang ako???

speaking of unreasonably expensive footwear, my heart still aches for my was-then the most expensive wooden Loewe platforms which gave up after almost three years of abused use. it was the best-sandals-for-all-types-of-weather-and-parties kind, thus it was an all time favorite. well, a pair of shoes is a rare find when it can match any outfit, shorts, skirts and pants of any length alike, impeccably! not to mention, it is tender on your soles and allows you to even walk miles with it. plus, it's 3-inches high! what else can a girl ask for? now, i miss that pair badly. :(

anyways, back to my other pair, it's made of pig skin, therefore, it got to be softer to the feet (i assume). then, a thought came to my mind. "pig skin ka nga ba?", talking to the shoes. "ano kaya i-lechon ko nalang tong sapatos na to? crispy kaya labas nya?"

then i remembered, i was hungry!

so, after keeping the shoes to the box instead of contemplating on roasting it, i went straight to the kitchen and decided to have my all-time favorite toasted cheese sandwich. my stomach would never be too hungry to be picky with anything with cheese on it. however, as if fate was teasing me, my first attempt came out as an overburnt toast. there was no more trace of cheese as the sandwich just looked so black. how could i have forgotten about my toast? i was only trying to distract my hunger with other mundane tasks! i remember, my memory and my tummy conspires against each other. they were never good friends in the first place.

so just imagine me almost dying with starvation right before my second toasted cheese sandwich was done. i never left the toaster that time. i was too hungry to go anywhere anwyay.

right now, i'm still too hungry to worry about anything. but, i'll just sleep on this.

la folle

how are you?
good.
how are you?
never been better.
how are you?
oh, i'm okay.
how are you?
great! ... really!
how are you?
you don't believe me?
how are you?
fine! i'm tired.
how are you?
i'm hungry. :(
how are you?
i'm changing the world.
how are you?
seriously?
how are you?
stop it!!!!
how are you?
how the hell should i know?!?
how are you?
@#$@#$!
how are you?
err... how are you too?
how are you?
how are you?
how are you?

okay, if you try to ask yourself that question more than a dozen times and try to come up with diffrent answers each time, we'll see how far can you go without getting crazy. si je ne suis pas déjà folle, je le deviendrai bien assez vite.

on a saner note, today is just one of those days where random crazy thoughts just don't stop pouring (like my ordinary days aren't filled with much already). i'm so guilty of talking to myself often (well, who doesn't anyway?), that sometimes i'm afraid i might be talking to myself too loudly in public. at least i haven't heard anyone saying behind my back, "elle est folle!". mais puis, je ne suis pas en France. :p hearing "you crazy lah?" would be more unsurprising. :)

well, talking is a therapy. why don't you think people still pay therapists big bucks when they can talk to anybody else for free and get the same advice? but the problem with talking to someone is deciding how much of your soul can you really bare. often times, i find myself regretting when i pour out my heart with more than what's necessary to other people. it gets difficult when the time comes where we just want to protect ourselves from them. but then it's too late cuz you've made yourself vulnerable already. it's a harsh world out there, y'know.

so, what's my point here? these are but random crazy thoughts on a crazy day.

fighting temptation

i was watching today's episode on PreacherInBlueJeans, and the talk was about fighting temptations. then i got to read one of the blogs i frequent to, and as if by chance, it was talking too, about temptations.

"tukso, layuan mo ako!"

i'm staying up so late feigning concentration with my work as i struggle not to think of you. from time to time, i steal glances to your direction. nakaka-distract ka! knowing you're just a few meters away, silent in your dark corner, doesn't help me with these thoughts i'm trying to fight back. it's been a long time since i've tasted your sweet satisfaction. i still have a vivid memory of how soft and warm you can get. i can only smile thinking about the pleasures only you can give. oh how you make my mind go crazy!

but no, i'm not giving in. i'm turning a deaf ear to what my body is telling me. i'm not grabbing a furuta chocolate tonight, or any chocolate for that matter. i'm on a diet. bakit nga ba ako nakaharap sa kitchen? makes me so darn hungry!