often times i catch myself wanting to stop from whatever it is that i am currently doing. it's like i need to stop from whatever it is that's making my life routinary, ordinary, uneventful. i've been so unmotivated lately that i find myself daydreaming about quitting my job, packing my bags. i'd probably move to Phuket and just bum at the beach by day, and be a waitress by night. of course i'm kidding, but now that i've thought about it, it does sound tempting.
other things that i want to stop is this tendency of putting myself in a web of decisions, decisions and more decisions, that "discerning" becomes excruciatingly stressful. if only i could just do a toss coin out of my life's crossroads, life would simply be better.
however, i am one of the most confusing persons i know. i don't know what it is that i really want in my life. i don't know what it is that i would really like to be doing. figuring me out simply gives me a headache. much more discerning about what to do with me, i'd only get migraine. then there's these tons of crazy ideas that's mulling over my head and they are not helping me with my decision making.
i really need to stop from thinking too much, or even from talking too much. i've stopped associating myself from those instant messengers so that i'd slowly alienate myself. i'd probably change phone numbers, or address. i should even stop blogging. i should simply raise my hand and surrender.
i was fine before, but now i'm tired. i'm broken. and all i can think of is .. i just want to stop.
4 comments:
Hi Zet,
Like you, I'm feeling anti-social these days too. Hermitanyo ang show ko ngayon. :D When you feel the need to retreat from the world for a while, do so. It'll do you lots of good. Your friends will understand.
A friend of mine (french at that) told me that when I get too confused, I should just stop looking for the answers and let time tell me. Sometimes, its when you are not looking that you see what you really need to.
I hope you feel better soon. God bless.
hi mads .. thanks :)
i hope i'd be patient enough to just stop looking for the answers :)
like you, i have this feeling of stopping from what I am doing now. Not for fatigue or whatever but more of going home to myself. This supervising made me saturated, made me whole one time and break me the next time.
we need a break!
i guess it does happen to us once in a while.
we definitely need a break :)
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