it's just so difficult to get by a day at work when your own boss doesn't understand what you do, or what you have done. i always feel that i gave an impression that i am not a very productive person (probably cause i've been seen most often with my skype and gmail always up). sometimes when you make the wrong impression, some people just find it hard to erase that. i am guilty of that sometimes, but we should always give this space for people to show the real them. i guess my boss doesn't do that.
no matter what i do, i get treated as this very unproductive employee and it is just utterly frustrating that i wish i could just kick some butt to prove my point that i am not unproductive at all. okay, so i am getting violent. it was bearable when my own team lead has not resigned, at least i am confident that someone is keeping up with my progress despite what the boss thinks. but now she's left me, like a duckling swamped in the rain with nowhere to go, i am back to the unproductive, skype-addict employee that the boss has branded me. what's worse, there are also other bossy colleagues who thinks the same way and treats me the same way, but i've got bigger problems than to deal with them. if they think i do not exist here, then i feel the same way for them.
however, if i keep these kind of thoughts eat me, i'd really become the unproductive employee that the boss thinks of me and i do not want to give him that pleasure. well, this is my job, these are my frustrations. even if nobody understands how i really feel about these things, there's nothing i could do. i am a slave to my job. it sucks to realize that. but again, i am here, so i might as well get things done while i am at it.
i'm just letting the fumes out. so back to work.
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