i've been restless for more than a month already. there's some addiction that i'm working on getting rid off - and that's not shopping :D well, i am in dire need of a diversion from some inner struggle that's been eating me. it's like i want to be freed from this hard habit to break.
i've tried getting myself busy. but i can't be busy all the time. but even if i were, i get easily distracted. and i always welcome distraction with open arms. so it doesn't always work. thus i've failed terribly and miserably in keeping my sanity most of the time. the easiest thing i could resort to in times like this is - retail therapy.
however, this intoxication is something that could not be rid off easily by some shoes or bag. not anymore, not even temporarily. i became desperate for something different. something that i don't usually go for when i'm in retail therapy.
the first splurge was my inmotion altec lansing iPod dock with FM tuner, S$289, which i bought more than a month ago. i needed an instant fix from a betrayal that i never saw coming. yeah, i still remembered that dreadful afternoon where all of this started. but i'm not going into detail about that as i'm supposed to be forgetting and moving on.
you see, i'm not a gadget person. i'm a shoe person. i buy shoes when i'm really depressed, or even a bit depressed, or when i think i should be depressed. well, you get what i mean. my point is, this gadget-loving-me is something really new. i'm expecting to experience a different sense of satisfaction from my new buy. i guess i did. now, each time i look at my iPod dock, i don't remember much the "incident". instead, i still find myself in disbelief how i was able to splurge such amount for that little black thing on my table that i only use as an FM radio most of the time. if it's an FM radio that i really wanted, i can get one for S$50 and buy a separate speaker that could cost much much less. i guess this is "the diversion" at work. i don't get into something like this after buying an unreasonably expensive pair of shoes. i can always defend my new pair from reason.
i was fine for a few days after that. but of course it didn't last. we are entitled for some lapse of judgment at some point in our life. i went on relapse, and was suffering more. i'm still restless. and each time i felt like i need something to divert my energy to, i went for more retail therapy.
there's still so much in my list to buy while this restlessness still hangs in the air. but i know i'll get over this and retail therapy is my lame excuse for my unnecessary buys. i know it's not really solving my problem. it's creating new ones instead - like how to deal with an empty pocket.
i should really start thinking that i'm tougher than i give myself credit for. my addiction can be solved without the aid of retail therapy. but while i'm not really so convinced with that, i have to keep my distance from these shops. and hope i don't fall for the same mistakes again. and again. and again. well, it's not called an addiction if i could easily help myself from it, right?
and like how a local would put it - so how?
i've tried getting myself busy. but i can't be busy all the time. but even if i were, i get easily distracted. and i always welcome distraction with open arms. so it doesn't always work. thus i've failed terribly and miserably in keeping my sanity most of the time. the easiest thing i could resort to in times like this is - retail therapy.
however, this intoxication is something that could not be rid off easily by some shoes or bag. not anymore, not even temporarily. i became desperate for something different. something that i don't usually go for when i'm in retail therapy.
the first splurge was my inmotion altec lansing iPod dock with FM tuner, S$289, which i bought more than a month ago. i needed an instant fix from a betrayal that i never saw coming. yeah, i still remembered that dreadful afternoon where all of this started. but i'm not going into detail about that as i'm supposed to be forgetting and moving on.
you see, i'm not a gadget person. i'm a shoe person. i buy shoes when i'm really depressed, or even a bit depressed, or when i think i should be depressed. well, you get what i mean. my point is, this gadget-loving-me is something really new. i'm expecting to experience a different sense of satisfaction from my new buy. i guess i did. now, each time i look at my iPod dock, i don't remember much the "incident". instead, i still find myself in disbelief how i was able to splurge such amount for that little black thing on my table that i only use as an FM radio most of the time. if it's an FM radio that i really wanted, i can get one for S$50 and buy a separate speaker that could cost much much less. i guess this is "the diversion" at work. i don't get into something like this after buying an unreasonably expensive pair of shoes. i can always defend my new pair from reason.
i was fine for a few days after that. but of course it didn't last. we are entitled for some lapse of judgment at some point in our life. i went on relapse, and was suffering more. i'm still restless. and each time i felt like i need something to divert my energy to, i went for more retail therapy.
there's still so much in my list to buy while this restlessness still hangs in the air. but i know i'll get over this and retail therapy is my lame excuse for my unnecessary buys. i know it's not really solving my problem. it's creating new ones instead - like how to deal with an empty pocket.
i should really start thinking that i'm tougher than i give myself credit for. my addiction can be solved without the aid of retail therapy. but while i'm not really so convinced with that, i have to keep my distance from these shops. and hope i don't fall for the same mistakes again. and again. and again. well, it's not called an addiction if i could easily help myself from it, right?
and like how a local would put it - so how?
7 comments:
that's all right zette. you're just enjoying your 20's that's all. :) this is the time to be self-indulgent. :)
that's a nice way to put it.. "i'm enjoying my 20's" :D hehehe
that's why we work so that we can spend.. don't worry about it too much we only have one life.. enjoy :D
del, does that mean i shouldn't feel too guilty about my unnecessary buys then? :D
sige na nga.. if u say so :D
oo para daghan na ta hehehehe...
hehehe actually, i'm not really too guilty about pampering myself with retail therapy ...
Retail therapy + Diversion: get a dog and collect rare antique items. Start by framing yourself hehehe.
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