in need of a lift

i feel so tired today. stressed-out, unmotivated, hopeless, down, depressed, sick, etc. these monsters have been periodically visiting me whenever i'm at work, or on the bus or train, or whenever i'm just alone. the music in my mp3 player couldn't seem to lift up my mood anymore. i'm starting to hear them as noise recently. lately, my days have been just a series of lows, and lows, and yes, the occasional highs, i admit. but most of the time, i'm as hazy as singapore is these days. right now, i'm simply tired of being tired.

*lets out a big sigh, and slumps her shoulders like she just placed the whole world on them*

i know my problems would be nothing compared to the effects of a nuclear test. however, for anyone who sees the world around her almost strangely, and who is more lost than ever, her problems gets magnified a thousand times. she thinks that its effects on her surmounts that of sumatra's forest fires.

who am i to complain? it's just that.. it saddens me so that i just feel so empty despite the chaotic world out there. i should learn how to look at my day in a different light. i should bring myself to appreciate more the miracles that happen around me - like other people falling in love, couples getting married, mothers expecting babies, famous people adopting orphans in africa, orphanages being built (and yeah, i really care about that in the most sincere way i can, that i, too, am thinking of adopting even if i'm not close to fame as madonna or brangelina).

*let's out a heavier sigh*

now that i've come to think about these stuffs, i should just stop being so egocentric and think that only my world matters. states people should worry with me on whether i should get a new job or not when my contract ends. what hollywood diet should work best for me? would i ever live to experience the greatest love ever? would i even get married? where should i be retiring, in cebu, the queen city of the southern philippines, or the more laid back country in southern france (with dreamy eyes while thinking about it)? or on more feasible, realistic worries, should i put up a website for people to vote if i need to renovate this blogspace? (hmm. since we're on the topic, honestly, i'm not anymore into the look-and-feel of this space. i think it gets more and more depressing everytime i see it in my browser. too many sad memories perhaps. don't you agree?)

putting my renovation plans aside, i know i'm less than a speck in this whole picture that God has created. i have to wake up cause there's really no excuse for becoming such a drama queen.

but for the meantime, in case anyone's feeling high, lift me up, will ya?