cold thoughts

i am down with coughs and colds for four days now. when i talked to my sister on the phone just a while ago, she insisted that i must go see a doctor. well, i almost did, last night. since i had a difficulty sleeping at 2 am with the dry cough and all the vomiting (excuse me), i thought of dragging myself to the hospital. but didn't, cause i was just too tired and too sick to even do that. and it was raining outside.

it's difficult to be sick, worse, be sick and be alone at the same time. there's no one to give that immidiate help that you need, like buying medicines in case you don't have any in the middle of the night. at moments like these, i could always here a statement made by a housemate at pinoy big brother (yes, i'm hooked at it too) at the back of my head, "akala ko kaya kong mag-isa, pero mahirap pala". so true. *hachoo!*

it is difficult to be alone. but there are just times where you just need to stand on your own feet. there are moments where being alone is not a choice. it's something fate brings on your lap for you to deal with instead of succumb to the "what-if(there's someone)'s".

there are just things that you've got to do, whether you're sick or alone or both. so despite my condition, i managed to wake up at 6:30 in the morning (for two days now) to prepare myself for my early driving lessons. i chose to take my classes in the morning where i'm still stress free from office work. i had to concentrate to what my instructor had to tell me in between my sneezing and controlled coughing. after driving class, i go directly to the office and just bury myself with the piled work that i was delaying in the past weeks. and later, i have to proceed to my french class. whew. busy days. but i'm thankful for them for they make me forget that i am even alone while getting through all these.

i know i am not helping myself. this flu would just get worse if i don't take a leave and rest. i might even let someone else in the office catch my virus. people around me are already pushing me to take a leave. no wonder "in sickness and in health" is a statement that doesn't work with friends.

so, rest i must.