alone-ness

last saturday afternoon, i was in the hospital to get myself checked since my cough just won't get away. I had the longest minutes spent being conscious with my own breathing when I had the mask from the nebulizer on my face. and in those slow minutes I realized how sad it is to bring yourself to the hospital.

another friend of mine had her moment too when she went to the hospital to take a tetanus toxoid shot. according to her, she would have died peacefully in her sleep had she just stayed home that friday night. well, she was just traumatized with her near-death experience when she got assaulted.

while the other friend was slowly unpacking her stuff in her new apartment. i'm sure she wasn't used to moving places with no one to help her out. (it's in situations like this where boyfriends are most useful). she was alone in a twin size bed with just a pillow beside her in the new apartment that night.

well, all three of us felt an overwhelming sense of "alone-ness" inside. and there's nothing else that we could grip on but our strong sense of independence.