sunglasses

as i saw the trace of sunrise in our small cottage at the island in the sky resort last sunday morning, i remembered that i didnt have my new sunglasses with me. i left it with my brother. but didn't really quite care coz i never really liked that pair anyway.

i thought about my old sunglasses, and realized how much i missed it since it wasn't only a good buy, but was the best that i had and might be irreplaceable. had i took care of it, i probably must still have had it on that trip.

well, i broke my favorite sunglasses when i attended a retreat at St. John's monastery almost three weeks ago. a temple broke as i pulled it out from my bag hurriedly. and i must admit, i did it carelessly. so it was totally my fault.

you see, it isn't the first time that i had broken a pair of sunglasses. the first one, i really took care of it since it was the first that i had and bought it from my own money. It was kind of fragile so, it got broken in the long run.

my the second pair of sunglasses, was durable enough, so i just carelessly dump it in my bag. and didnt easily quite break. well, it sticked with me for a time so i thought it wud never break. but it eventually gave up on me. just with that one careless pull from my bag.

the day before we were to have our company's beach party, i was in pursuit for a new pair of sunglasses. i didnt have much time and i was about to splurge a big amount of money for a pair of sunglasses that isn't really my type but was the best the store could offer. the good thing is, i was able to stop myself from buying it. then i searched more in another mall, and finally settled for a pair which wasn't really expensive, but isn't also good enough. it was just the best that i could find, and it kinda fitted my fancy for the moment. but, that proved to be a wrong decision. cause now, i dont really like it that much anymore. i missed my old sunglasses!

as i was thinking about the loss, i realized that my sunglasses and my relationships have some things in common. with my first relationship, i tried to hold on too much on it, but it was just too fragile. like no matter what effort i give to save it, it was just bound to fail. and it did. i was devastated when that happened, and i thought i cud never find someone else. but i did. and he was sweet and kind and somehow, he showed me that i am worth so much. he compliments me. but i didnt qive quite much importance in the relationship in the beginning. but i was confident then that it won't fail this time. but i guess with my treatment, i've let it slip away. and i was too late. i was being careless. and i look back to what i've lost with remorse. there are just things in life that we only realize their worth once they are gone.

my second pair of sunglasses might be irreplaceable, but this time i wouldn't get a new pair in such a haste and settle with what's available. but i can't promise that my next buy would be it. i might make some wrong choices in the future, but i still believe that i'd still find the right sunglasses in time. and when i do, i'd surely take care of it, and hopefully it won't give up on me anymore.