this year

it is almost mid january and i still do not know how to wrap up how my christmas vacation went. i have been travelling most of the time that it was getting difficult to catch up with my own pace. i do need to really slow down. now that i am back here in singapore, i think i can do that for a while.

i welcomed the year with a bit of sadness and excitement as i tried to drown myself with a bottle of wine listening to the stories of my older brothers and sisters. i was trying to be attentive, but the wine tasted better. the priest's homily on the new year eve mass that we attended earlier was still ringing in my ears.... "peace has become something that is elusive". wherever we look, that is the reality right now. even in a smaller scale, that is the reality i am facing.

earlier last december, i was awaiting for this year with much gusto. like something inevitable, something i've been wanting for so long has finally come. then i realize i do not even know what it is that i am waiting for. if it is what i think it is, am i even ready for it? i may have made plans last year, and i think i am even nearing my goals now. however, i can not deny that there's still so much uncertainty ahead and it gets scary if i try to dig deeper.

i do not want to put so much negativity and paranoia in me, as i have had enough of that when the year started.

This year, is gonna be incredible
This year, is gonna be the one
All the planets are lining up for me
This year, I'm gonna have fun

This year, I'll paint my masterpiece
This year, I'll be recognized
I can feel like I'll fall in love for real
This year, this year

January, I'll learn to fly
February, love's gonna find me
March, April, May, I'll get carried away
Oh, oh...

This year, I'll reach the pinnacle
This year, I'll get to the top
People will ask where she get that energy
This year, I'm never gonna stop

January, I'll learn to fly
February, love's gonna find me
March, April, May, I'll get carried away
Oh, oh, oh, oh...

This year, is gonna be incredible
This year, is gonna be the one
All the planets are lining up for me
This year, I'm gonna have fun

I'm gonna have fun
Just watch me now
This year
This year
This year

-"This Year",Chantal Kreviazuk