a chapter closed

i was at the embassy earlier today to have my student visa cancelled. it was the last step i had to do to finally have at peace with my decision of not pursuing THE other dream.

as i waited for my turn inside the embassy, i get to contemplate about things that led me to the seat where i was at that exact moment. i went through a lot of anxieties and worries to reach this decision. it wasn't an easy thing, and i had some price to pay because of my indecisions.

i was also a bit jittery thinking if i needed to explain my side to the consul officer. i hate explaining myself, my actions. and for someone who's a fool to always commit the wrong ones, i was hating myself more. so, while i waited, i had prepared myself for some interrogation .... that luckily didn't take place. whew!

when i got hold of my passport, i looked at the bold "CANCELLED" mark across my visa. i then knew at that moment, there's no more space for thoughts of what-might-have-beens. another roller coaster ride has just ended. and i've had learned a lot from the whole thing.

"dili lagi magtaka-taka ug enter."