my mind just stopped working today. or was it just last saturday? i have a deadline, my boss expects me to finish a project this week (which i am almost done, except for this one big chunk that i need to get it working, but i just can't and i don't know where to start). is this normal? do brains really stop working?
okay, so mental block happens. but isn't that something which only happens for a few hours or even minutes? well, my technical brain has stopped working after i've stressed it out last week. what does it take for it to be churning up its engine once again? i've got a deadline to beat!
i was here in the office last weekend. but i was studying french instead of looking at my mentor's latest email and my new instructions of my tasks. i get interested in other things but work. i know this is normal and a lot could relate into this. but this isn't the time for that. i need to concentrate. i shouldn't cram and spend sleepless nights here in the office.. again. worse, it's without pay!
i need help. this is just a state of mind, right?
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my life is a financial mess. and a big mess at that! c'est tant pis! i am drowning with my credit card bills and i can't sleep at night. it is getting me crazy. all my salary just goes to these credit cards. They are are actually eating me alive. okay, i shouldn't over-react. but this totally feels terrible.
how did i ever get myself into this mess? I am not a shopaholic. really! okay, maybe i have had some bad buys, some unnecessary expenses, and other mistakes that involved money. looking back, i could actually keep track for the money i've just thrown away because i've made the wrong investments. but how have i so irresponsibly used my credit cards? what does this reflect of me? Will i ever grow out of this immaturity? Do i need professional help now? how much would that cost?
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i've crashed out the carbs on my diet since last week. i've been trying so hard to diet but i don't think i lost any pounds at all. my tummy still is as flabby as i can remember. and i am always hungry.
but my stress should have cooperated with this diet thing, right? when people tell you, "hey, you got thin. did u diet?". a usual answer in these busy days would be, "no, i am just so stressed out these days i haven't eaten much nor slept much". but it is not working for me. i haven't eaten much, and i haven't slept much, but the pounds just won't stop increasing! where did i go wrong? maybe i have zero metabolism? is that even possible? or my body's just being abnormal?
i think i should get my lazy butt one of these days and really head for the gymn.
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i can't believe i am blogging at times like this.
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