i've been having lazy mornings ever since i moved in to this new place. i could barely get up at around 9 am in the morning. or i just lack a lot of motivation to go early to work. but when i do get at the office, i get so busy. or should i say, i try hard to be busy. i dont want to think about things that i know would just make me dawdle. if possible i dont want to be too preoccupied with my relationship problems. coz technically, i am involved with one one guy. but physically and emotionally, there's no one. how did i get myself into that? would have been a lot better if it were otherwise, right?
everytime i want to officially quit in my quasi-relationships, i get messages saying 'don't give up just yet'. are these messages for my "relationships", or is it for my work. coz i do badly want to give up on both. i want to start off new. take a month long leave. breath new air. see new people. meet up with strangers.
i can't wait to see great things ahead of me. what kind of determination should i keep? on what should i put my faith into? what should be my main focus in this life? i promised myself that this year would be for my career. but could i really focus on that and neglecting my relationships with friends and family? could i really get on board this journey all by myself? i can't think of an answer. but if i am really bound for this, then i guess i have no choice but pick up my heels and go where i should go. right?
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