not that i'm busy

i know this blog is starting to get rusty. it's not that i am so busy at work (well, i really am but it's bearable). it's not that my life here is as smooth sailing and that my general feeling right now could be summarized to that of a feather, floating lightly, heading to wherever the wind would like to take her. it's not that i'm getting too lazy to compose my thoughts and that there's no point cause there's really not much to write about. no, it's not that. but if i ask myself what it is.. i don't know. j'honnêtement ne sais pas. anywayz, i was having some snacks alone at breadtalk earlier. the branch across cityhall mrt station have this one round table at the corner just by the door, just slightly hidden by any passers-by and with a good view of the busy street corner. well, this isn't my first time to eat here this way, munching on my food at this single round table with no chair. so why do some bakeshops like this don't have a decent table or chair for their customers if they allow them to eat their snacks here, as they also offer a variety of drinks to pair with their pastries. and if they were to provide a table, why just one? delifrance, about two shops away, even could afford several tables for customers to dine in properly, and they sell basically about thesame stuff. but then, why would i choose this place over delifrance? i guess they placed that table there for people only wants a quick bite before heading off to whatever it is that's more deserving of their oh-too-precious time. it's not for people who think that those pastries, and their coffee should be enjoyed as how they're ant to be enjoyed. or, it's for people who are just embarrassed to be seen eating alone, that they can't just lounge on their danishes openly. if they want to enjoy their snack, they'd prefer to do it in a less open place, free from people's could-be meaningful glances. and i feel that table's perfect for me at this time. where i can just eat my snack, and not be able to think about anything. so, i guess that's it. lisod man i-konek, but somehow, somewhere in my thoughts above, i got a point. i do.

2 am

2 Am and she calls me cause I'm still awake
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake
I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season.
- Breathe, Anna Nalick

well.. nobody really called,but i am definitely awake at 2 am... and it's
only my mistakes that i want to unravel.

here goes again the night owl in me. despite the number of times
that i've asked myself, "whattheheck am i still awake for?", i still
can not sleep. i have to be NOT awake in this unholy hour.

i've already been blog-hopping, net-hopping,and whatever hopping you
can do in the internet... which by the way made me learn the ff:

* in a muslim post wedding party, men celebrate separately from
the women, as it is a sacred ceremony.

* to be able to really learn a language, you have to at least
learn 200 words a day (seriously? .. no wonder i cannot go
anywhere with my french)

* someone's actually been travelling 62 countries in 9 years.. and he been
blogging abt it. http://www.hobotraveler.com/. now, there's one person that
i seriously envy.

* kf must be really homesick for having posted a gradeschool class
picture, but i cannot spot him in it. why am i still talking abt him?

* men can also appreciate movies like 'the devil wears prada', however,
in a very different view from women. how was i not able to pick out one of the
movie's message was 'how to be not a slave to your own work'? ..must have
lost myself in all those shoes and skirts and bags. hehe

* i like bumping into this one person's blog. it's just that i could really connect with
his thoughts.

* i am not the only person who spams their blogs with senseless
stuffs like i do. well, nats explained why we have to write ..
" Writing something down behind the anonymity of blogs fills this need of expressing yourself and being heard. It deceives you into believing that someone somewhere actually cares."

i guess i dropped more thoughts than expected.

it's past 2 am, and no one's really going to call.

woe to them, just them

i thought that being single frees u from relationship woes. unfortunately, NOT. when your friends happen to entangle themselves into this complicated relationship web, or rather, triangle, you find yourself also dragged somewhere in the middle. then you realize, they are silently wishing/expecting that you might take sides. then those forces come so strong that you unintentionally get squeezed in the center, and wonder.. why were you in there again? the last time i checked, i'm still single. but really, right now.. i'm having relationship problems, my friends' relationship problems.

okay, i might be exaggerating a little, teeny bit cuz the complexity of their matter isn't really that much. or, i've just probably maintained myself in some safe distance from their problems before i get caught too involved. well, i do hope i'll keep this distance for long before my patience runs out. i'm afraid that if my patience slips, i'd be pounding some sense to the guy who's causing all these troubles, and tell that girl of his to keep her thoughts to herself before i do convince the guy to put her in more trouble.

by then, i'll be back to my carefree single self whose problems are simply limited on where to spot the next cute guy.

hmm.. i sound like a terrible friend. but being friend to all, sometimes also doesn't really work.

my kind of weekend

another weekend has passed by so quickly again. however this time, i've finally started to make the most out of my weekend by spending most of my time at home, and not on the malls, emptying my pocket, nor at the office pounding my keyboards, feigning to be productive.

saturdays are now spent cleaning most part of the house. i remember back when i was a kid, it's my least favorite day of the week. it always started with my mom nagging us to help out in the house chores, being the only day where we could give our little contribution in maintaining cleanliness at home. little did i know, that all those annoying wake up calls by my mum would bear good fruits. i've finally made a habit out of it. well, when there's nobody else who would be cleaning up for me, then i've got to do it on my own. this is something i've learned from the years of living independently. but the labor always pays off. a clean bedroom, bathroom is always a good sight. so the burden from all those scrubbing just eases away. :)

the day was concluded with a movie, the devil wears prada. the next one i've seen right after superman (geez, that was ages ago already). it was a good way to end my day since i totally enjoyed the movie. i should say, i've always admired meryl streep as an actress, ever since i've seen her in kramer vs. kramer (though the movie was too heavy for me back then). her classy portrayal of miranda is very impressive. i haven't read the book, but i think the director and everyone else in it, really made a good justice out of it, or probably exceeded it. anne hathaway wasn't bad at all, she made a great 'Andy', as she did with her character in the Princess Diaries, very admirable as well. and not to mention how great she looked on the couture she wore when she started to live up to the role of her job as the assistant. hmm, the perks for being able to be in that kind of job. the words "chanel, blahnik's, jimmy choo's" always makes me give out that big dreamy s-i-g-h, as i float to the fashion dreamland. yeah, okay.. time to wake up.

but movies like this has always have a downside effect on me. (i swear that sex and the city has a lot to do with my shopaholic tendencies). did i say that i concluded my day with a good movie? .. i guess i need to take that back. i concluded my day with a new pair of shoes, and a cup of gourmet coffee at the coffee connoisseur. see the bad effect the movie had on me? i don't need a new pair of shoes, and i totally don't need coffee when it's almost midnight! honestly, i blame the malls for being situated nearby these cinemas.

good thing, my sundays are always occupied. no time for me to splurge. there's church, and my salsa classes that i never miss out. and there's grocery shopping, and the best part, feasts i get to enjoy with my housemates, and our growing invited, er- adopted, friends. we're one big happy family now. len and gnis celebrated their advance birthday treat. we had sweet and sour tilapia, and hawaiian chicken pork adobo with quail eggs. then, earlier that day, we had bicol express for lunch. twas really a busy day for our kitchen. :) i should say, we're really learning a lot of cooking, and we're loving all the eating that goes with it :) ahh.. the 'sous chefs' in us. hehe.

so that was my weekend, something that always makes me grateful. that despite the busy week ahead of me, there's always another weekend to look forward to :)

clubbing the night away

i didn't expect earlier that i'd be on a gimik tonite. my only agenda for fri-nyt was the salsa school's anniv party @ fareast square. singapore's salsa scene is really getting so vibrant that when i got there, the whole place was really crowded. i wonder who's left at the club where we frequent to on fridays? everyone seemed to be present at the party. :)

it's really amazing to see great dancers strutting their styles on the dance floor. when can i possible come close to how they dance? probably after a repeat of all my intermediate classes. hehe. that's a long long way to go.

however, i'm afraid my salsa enthusiasm's dying down.. i can't find a good dance partner whom i can be easily comfortable with... and i'm not so comfortable yet with asking a guy to dance with me ..yes, my salsa buddies are quite fine and are really nice.. but i am still quite uncomfortable mingling with them .. quite shy that i am (yeah right!), i'd thought of ending the night early, and head home while i could still catch the last train.

as i was about to say my goodbyes, one of my friends approached me if i'd be interested joining them to the M.O.S. so it wasn't only me who felt kinda bored at the party. well, with no space much to dance, and no one to dance with, i spent most of my time standing at the corner. so, the M.O.S. invite kinda made my night :)

the ministry of sound. i've heard so much about this club. it's probably the biggest of its kind here, so my expectation was quite high. when we got there, i wasn't to be disappointed.

the club's setup is somehow similar to the club Avalon that i went to in new york, two years ago. you get to choose among house music, techno, rnb and retro. it's actually quite more spacious than the Avalon club (which i heard has closed down already?) .. and far more affordable. just pay 20sgd, and you can dance all through the rooms in the club with two complimentary drinks.

well, for those who might be thinking there'd be a repeat of my Avalon experience in nyc.. they'd really be disappointed. hehe. i got myself away from any alcoholic drinks, except for a glass of green tea whiskey. yes, green tea whiskey. the drink was recommended to me, and i think it's only available in singapore. but the drink was really good. :)

finally, i've conquered singapore's club scene! :D

juz about anything

so i haven't been keeping in touch lately. well, lemme see..i was on vacation for about two weeks, and just got back last friday. though, i'd say the days i spent in PI won't really pass up as a long break at all (well, just break from work, maybe), but there wasn't a day that i spent relaxing, or lazying around the beach, enjoying the sea breeze..nor did i spend any nights watching sunsets. each day was always scheduled with something to do, even up to the last minute. most are spent catching up with friends i haven't seen for months, and of course, spending "quality" time with my family. despite spending each "free" day i had in a frenzy, i say it was all worth it :D so that's what really matters, right?

**

i hate lazy mornings. well, today, i slept for about more than the usual eight hours. i had to take the taxi to work (darn, lost my weekly budget again)..since monday, i was just too exhausted on almost anything. though i wasn't busy at all at work, and i managed to go home earlier than usual (to my housemates surprise), i still felt tired like i had such a busy day.

then i realized i haven't had any caffeine intake for the past two days. well, i took my regular coffee today cuz i can't just lag from work anymore. the luxury's fleeting as the week ends.. there'd be too much to catch up and i don't feel like spending an extra day at work this weekend.

**

it's almost one a.m., but i'm still a bit high from all the dancing at the club tonite. i can't believe none of the other girls showed up, like i do mind sharing the guys that i could dance with. hehe. it also gets tiring, you know. but i do wish more girls show up the next time the gang goes to the club on wednesdays. at least i'd have more time to observe the other couples on the dance floor and practice on the styling.. or spinning. oh, how i suck at spinning.

**

so this is one of the nonsense posts (i'm having several of these lately) in this almost nonsense blog.. but it seems that there's really nothing much going on around. as nats once complained why nothing interesting is happening to me here. well, aside from my salsa class, there's nothing else that keeps me busy outside work. even if the club offers free booze on fridays, i can't manage to drink more than a glass, or i'd make a mess out of myself... and there'd be no one to rescue me.. though there's this particular someone i won't mind being rescued. hehe. nah.. forget about that. it's all lame.

well, once i get myself a better budget for the month, i'll really take some tennis lessons.

**

i wish i could have time to do a makeover at this blog. i think it badly needs one, as much as my life badly needs one.

sometimes we complain about things we wish for and couldn't get it, or nothing comes close to it. well, the Lord does have its own ways to say no for our wishes. however, sometimes, we too have to be careful about what we ask for, cuz we just might actually get it. hehe. that's a lesson learned for me today.

**

another thing. i came across a quote that goes, "money can't buy happiness, but so does poverty".

**
okay.. it's past 1 a.m...got to sleep now, no more extra dime for taxi tomorrow. darn coffee for keeping me awake !!

fri nyt thots

it's officially my first day for my two-week-long "break" from work. finally, i get to have the vacation that i rightfully deserve. well, right after juggling my time, and my mind from one project to another without even a breather in between, i say, i really do deserve this.

i was supposed to leave early from office today. however, the chili chili crab i had last night didn't have a very good effect on me. i had a hard time sleeping, and i woke up so early. what was with the crab i had that night? hmm.must be some stimulant or something. or i just can't sleep on a heavy stomach?

despite the stress from work and lack of sleep, i didnt head off to the apartment right after. i just can't make myself be home early on a friday night. what's with that, anyway? i just feel so allergic to it.

i then decided to join some friends to the salsa club that i've been frequenting on friday nights. good thing the gang was there. and the guy, i'm-supposed-to-be-interested-on-but-don't-really-care-about, was also there. i was looking forward to dancing with him, but never got the chance. i've danced with three friends all night, that my right wrist is aching with the turns we are trying to get the hang on. my friends are really getting better at salsa though. that's why it's getting more fun. well, they are my classmates on the make-up class i had on friday nights. they are now my regular salsa buddies.

people here don't really stay out so late, compared to what we're used to in the philippines. i guess it's because taxi fares are just so high, and night buses are really rare. so, if you don't have a car, you better be home just before the last bus, or the last mrt.

hmm...i just realized that this whole blog has really no point. hehe.

"it's only to deny this loneliness that's tearing me apart"