hawker thoughts

i like the part where the nocturnal side in me kicks in. no matter how exhausted i am at work, i still manage to stay awake for as long as i want. the more things get done. that would mean, spare time to blog. :)

i didn't have a good start today. several "misfortunes" happened the moment i stepped out from the apartment's gate. it got worse when i arrived at the office. it was like the movie "pure luck" but to a lesser extent of course. when i started talking about them to my friends, i realized they are really nothing but trifles. i've only thought about that when you hear people going through a greater deal of trouble. sometimes i do get the tendency to be too preoccuppied in my own little, shallow world.
i always tell myself not to complain too much cause i do get to be too whiny at times that i get annoyed with myself. however, i still remember too late about that right after i've said my litany of complaints to my friends. i guess i've got more patient friends than i've thought. hehe. i'm just thankful for that.

despite the morning "misfortunes", the rest of the day turned out well. i've been somehow "productive" at work, and i am proud of myself when that happens (cause that rarely happens).though i must have been still caught busy with either my skype or g-chat by our project manager. hehehe. but that doesn't matter, as long as i've shown some output. we do deserve to have that kind of break, so he probably understands. :)

speaking of these instant messengers, i always get amused at how people play with their status. well, i also do that most specially on my g-chat. you can't really freely expose how you feel on the IM you are using at work. it would cause more harm than good ;)

here's just a few of the funny skype status people use at work:

"FS: Toshiba DVD player, barely used" (talking about advertising for free)

"25 more days..." (people luv to do countdowns..for reasons we'd have to guess)

"Big brother is watching you..." (a status fit only for the boss..i didn't know he's a fan)

"going wondering" (does he mean..wandering? well, it still could work)

"what did i ever do to deserve this?" (hmm.. no wonder this person took a year-long leave without pay)

when there's nothing interesting to do

okay, i am blogging again in the middle of my work hours, but i'm just really bored, and sleepy and i needed a good distraction. good thing claire's blog gave me a good idea to keep me from dozing
off here, or staring blankly at the monitor. so, i'm doing this survey :)

Four jobs you have had in your life:
- software engineer
- software engineer
- software engineer
- software engineer

(i think i really need to do something to spice up my career and think
of odd jobs so that by next time i answer some survey like these, it wouldn't
look as predictable and boring as it is now)

Four movies you would watch over and over:
- legends of the fall
- my best friend's wedding
- before sunrise and after sunset
- ?? (a lot of my fave movies would fight for this position, so i'll just keep this blank)

Four places you have lived:
- bohol
- cebu
- singapore
- *to be defined* (depend's on the direction of the wind)

Four of your favorite expressions:
- hala, bitaw no?
- OMG
- ngak
- seriously? :p

Four places you have been on vacation:
- philippines (pagudpod, vigan, baguio, manila, dumaguete, iligan, butuan)
- japan (osaka, nara, kyoto, kobe, kyushu)
- us (atlanta, orlando, west virginia, new york, new hampshire, boston, seattle)
- singapore

Four websites you visit daily/regularly:
- gmail
- google
- yahoo mail
- blogs of friends, and friend's friends, and
strangers, etc, etc, etc

Four of your favorite foods:
- roasted peanuts (i miss chedeng's!!!)
- prata
- pasta
- fruits (para healthy..hehehe)

Four places you would rather be right now:
- at one of the malls here, window shopping
- in a coffee shop with a good view, then nagmuni-muni
- on vacation, in europe or somewhere else i've never been to
- at home, watching season two of grey's anatomy (i can't wait for it to
be weekend!!)

Bonus Q:
Are you supposed to be doing something else instead of answering this
poll?
- i'm supposed to be doing work, and i got really really really bored
looking at the documents, good thing i bumped into this survey at claire's
blog.. which is a real lifesaver as of this moment.. :p so, thanks to claire..
daghan nata walay lingaw (chuckle).

nobody knows how i feel

it's just so difficult to get by a day at work when your own boss doesn't understand what you do, or what you have done. i always feel that i gave an impression that i am not a very productive person (probably cause i've been seen most often with my skype and gmail always up). sometimes when you make the wrong impression, some people just find it hard to erase that. i am guilty of that sometimes, but we should always give this space for people to show the real them. i guess my boss doesn't do that.

no matter what i do, i get treated as this very unproductive employee and it is just utterly frustrating that i wish i could just kick some butt to prove my point that i am not unproductive at all. okay, so i am getting violent. it was bearable when my own team lead has not resigned, at least i am confident that someone is keeping up with my progress despite what the boss thinks. but now she's left me, like a duckling swamped in the rain with nowhere to go, i am back to the unproductive, skype-addict employee that the boss has branded me. what's worse, there are also other bossy colleagues who thinks the same way and treats me the same way, but i've got bigger problems than to deal with them. if they think i do not exist here, then i feel the same way for them.

however, if i keep these kind of thoughts eat me, i'd really become the unproductive employee that the boss thinks of me and i do not want to give him that pleasure. well, this is my job, these are my frustrations. even if nobody understands how i really feel about these things, there's nothing i could do. i am a slave to my job. it sucks to realize that. but again, i am here, so i might as well get things done while i am at it.

i'm just letting the fumes out. so back to work.

effects of ripples

sometimes you just wish that you won't have to meet some people you've met cause they just stir up the balance and calmness you're trying hard to put in your life. but then for what? for you to adjust and wait till the ripples they cause to die down? there's agony in watching each wave pass you by ..oh, how i hate that!

I-OnlineUpdatable?

let me talk about work. just for now.

One of my current tasks is to modify my gui module and make it Online Updatable. That simply means that i would have to add some changes to the gui so that it gets updated correctly when one of its configurations have been changed. One of the modifications that i have to add in for this is have one of the classes inherit from IOnlineUpdatable, do the required initialisations and voila! my gui now listens for any updates.

Okay, before i get too geeky... just imagine me in the middle of my hectic work with all eyes on my ever colorful visual dev studio. my mind then wanders (which is too often these days) into something that could be "blog"-worthy. but i couldn't just take a break and note that down or else i'll loose the fading (with all the mind-wandering) momemtum i need to do my tasks. so the time just then passes by, and all those thoughts flushed to oblivion. while i was doing that "ionlineupdate" stuff, i couldn't help but think and wish that this blog too becomes online updatable. :) now i wouldn't have to worry how to squeeze in my "blog" worthy thoughts into this blog. how nice could that be? i could do my blogging anytime, anywhere. :p

now i'm just getting crazy for thinking about that. well, it's just that lately i could barely get my "blog" mood back since i'm so stomped with work. By the time i get home, i'd just be too exhausted. except for today. i'm done with my onlineupdate task, so i got the chance to get out of work early (and that is at 7 pm!). i think i've had enough rest (or am i now not used to sleeping early?) since i am still so wide awake and it's past 12 am.

well, enough of blogging for now. i do really need to get my zzz's. tomorrow's another day

:)

shows, shows and shows

i just watched the magical disney show on ice at the singapore indoor stadium last night. makes me want to be an ice-skater and perform with all the handsome princes.. :D twas one great show..i really enjoyed the whole two hours that disney has prepared for the audience.. just had fun remembering all the good movies i've loved so much from disney.. down from snow white, cinderella, pinocchio, beauty and the beast.. to the latest, the incredibles. hmm.. i'm just at loss for words :p

the other night, i was at the river maya concert held at the nokia powerhouse, just outside esplanade theatre. as expected, daming pinoy :D though i wasn't familiar with their songs now...but it was fun.. it's unarguable that the band's performance was great. twas awsome too to see local's carrying fan posters and jamming with the rest of the pinoys.

tonite, i am supposed to go to esplanade theatre to see a reggae concert. however, i've got no one to go with me. so i'll just be lounging my butt here in the apartment, which is a total bummer. it's bad enough that i missed most of the shows of the mosaic music festival. i'm still thinking how i just let a jason mraz concert pass!! (no moolah..and no date are reasons enough, i guess.??) ..how i wish there'd be someone that i could just easily grab whenever i'd feel like going to concerts like these. hmm..makes me wonder, asa naman to ako mga mean-time boys? :D

not in the mood

when single, you always deal with this kind of conversation, that your responses to the issue just varies with your mood. lately, this has been mine.

s: have you been dating anyone?
m: hmmm.. no one.
s: are you sure? even occasionally seeing someone?
m: last time i checked?..none..though how i wish i was .. but no.. there's no one.
s: what about the guy from this-and-that?
m: nope. that was ages ago. m not interested
s: remember the other guy?
m: oh, that guy? what about him?
s: why don't you call him? ask him how he is, etc.
m: not interested.
s: why not?
m: m just not in the mood. i don't feel like it.
s: he's really cute y'know.
m: so? he's history, and besides i'm not in the mood
for that kind of thing
s: what's eating you?
m: nothing.
s: who knows what might work out of it.
m: i've got bigger problems infront of me. i'd rather not get
myself bothered about such trivial things
s: well..okay, there's no need to rush anyway.
m: what's to rush? m still young. duh!
s: yeah. there's still more ahead of you. okay, forget
that i mentioned him.
m: m forgetting it already. (pause) so, what are we talking about?