joyeux anniversaire

i knew someone who once told me that he hated birthdays. close-minded that i was, i totally find it absurd. who would hate birthdays? i didn't understand him then. but i think i do now. not that i hated birthdays. but somehow i understand now and how it would make a lonely person even lonelier.

birthdays are supposedly spent centered on you. i guess that makes it one of the most selfish celebrations if that's how it is continually viewed. we're supposed to receive "gifts". people ought to recognize your existence by greeting you on your "special" day. then that supposedly would make you feel "loved" and be happy. it's okay if you are around people who do find you significant in their lives, just like the way your family always make you feel.

but what if you're not? what if you're alone and far away? what if there's no one who could make you feel that sense of significance? you're around people who barely know you, or are just on the process of becoming "close" with them. well, they greet you if you tell them that it's your birthday. but i think that just totally looses the essence of it. so you anticipate all throughout the day if people would make you feel that you are somehow "special" and worthy of that. when the hours of your "birth"-day start to pass by, and no one makes you feel just that, how are you supposed to feel about birthdays? just bad, huh?

hmm.. am i being negative about it all? or do i just feel un-loved? well, that's totally not it. it's just that i'm supposed to be with the equally significant people of my life. my family. but i'm not and that's making the day sad. yet despite it all, i know that there's still lots to be thankful, for birthdays are also that. it's a day where we should be thankful of the wonderful years that we have spent in this earth and for the wonderful years to come.

today's my 27th birthday...i know i am not getting any younger. but no one is. life goes on. time is ever moving, not stopping for even the most significant moments in our lives. not even on our birthdays. so whatever you do, it's just another day that marks a new chapter in your life. it's a day that makes me ever grateful... for my friends... and my family.